LOL Cat Bible

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LOL Cat Bible

Postby rkzenrage on Wed Oct 17, 2007 3:06 am

http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Main_Page

Boreded Cieling Cat makinkgz Urf n stuffs
1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat waz invisible, An he maded the skiez An da Urf, but he no eated it.

2 The Urfs wus witout shapez An wus dark An scary An stufs, An he rode invisible bike over teh waterz.

3 An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.

4 An Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stufs, An seperatered teh lite from dark An stufs but taht wuz ok cuz cats can seez in teh dark An not tripz ovr nethin. an Ceiling Cat sayz u mus hav da moneyz 2 git da milkz.

5 An Ceiling Cat sayed light Day An dark no Day. Teh evning An morning was teh first day.

6 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has teh ceilingz of waterz, with waterz up An waterz down. An he maded hole in teh Ceiling.

7 An Ceiling Cat doed the skiez with waterz down An waterz up, An stuff.

8 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has teh firmmint wich iz funny bibel naim 4 ceiling, so evning An morning was teh twoth day.

9 An Ceiling Cat gotted all no waterz into ur base, so no waterz wus not wetted An Ceiling Cat hadz teh dry placez cuz cats dusnt lieks to get wet,

10 An Ceiling Cat called no waterz urths and waters oshunz, so tehre.

11 An Ceiling Cat sayed, wants grass An stuff! so tehr wuz seedz An stufs, An fruitzors An vegbatels.

12 An Ceiling Cat sawed that weedz ish teh good stuff, so, letz tehre be weed. (and catnipz 2, so wen i makes kittehs they can getz hai.)

13 An so teh evning An the morning of the threeth day.

14 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has lightz in the firmmint for dividing day from no day.

15 So tehre, lights everwaer, like chrissmass, wai.

16 An Ceiling Cat doeth two greate lightz, teh most big for day, teh other for no day.

17 An Ceiling Cat screweth tehm on firmmint, with big nails An stuff.

18 An Ceiling Cat sawed it wus the goodz, so wai.

19 An so teh evning An the morning of the furth day.

20 An Ceiling Cat sayed, letz teh waterz brings forht the loots An stuff, An phishes, An burdies, that flyeths over the no waterz An swimmeths in the waterz.

21 An Ceiling Cat created big fishies An see monstrs, which wuz like big cows, except they not mooed, An other stuffs that gives the mooves, An Ceiling Cat wuz plezed.

22 An Ceiling Cat sented them hais, An stuff, so letz u be happy An stuff. And0 sed all u aminals An burdiez An fishz go has baby aminals An brrdz An fishz An dont worry i wont watch u has sexxes, cept 4 SUPRIZE BUTTSECKZ!!!!!!!

23 An so teh evning n the morning of the fifth day

24 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has mor living stuff, mooes, An creepz, An otehr animuls, so tehre.

25 An Ceiling Cat doed moar living stuff, mooes, An creepies, An otehr animuls, An did not eated tehm.

26 An Ceiling Cat sayed, letz us do peeps like uz, becuz we ish teh cute, An let min has dominion An stufs becuz tehy has can openers.

27 So Ceiling Cat createded teh peeps ish like him, can has can openers he did tehm, min An womin wuz created, but he did not eated tehm.

28 An Ceiling Cat sented them hais, so teh ballz An teh multiplyers, An haz teh dominion on teh waterz, no waterz An teh firmmint, An evry thingz An stuff.

29 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Yo, Beholdt, the Urfs, I has it, An I has not eated it.

30 For evry createded stufs tehre are the fuudz, to the burdies, teh creepiez, An teh mooes, so tehre. an Ceiling Cat sayz u mus hav da moneyz 2 git da milkz. 50$ plez

31 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, teh good enouf for releaze as version 0.8a. kthx bai.



Makes more sense now.

They are doing the whole thing. :o
A samurai once asked Zen Master Hakuin where he would go after he died.
Hakuin answered, "How am I supposed to know?"
"How do you know? You're a Zen master?" exclaimed the samurai.
"Yes, but not a dead one," Hakuin answered.
Zen Mondo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3YOIImOoYM
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Postby Beardyoldblaggard on Wed Oct 17, 2007 5:10 pm

This document is FABULOUS, I'm almost tempted to become a contributor.

Then the irony struck me; a 51 yr old, white, british guy, who gets confused and irritated by txt spk and is just converting from atheist to antitheist - maybe I'm not ready for this project yet.

Lots of fun though, Lolcats rule!
"Religion is what the common people see as true,
the wise see as false, and the rulers see as useful."
— Seneca

He's your god. They're your rules. You burn in hell.

Democracy is the bludgeoning of the people, by the people, for the people. - O.F.O'F.W. Wilde

Don't Vote For Anarchy - create it!

True freedom lies in realising the futility of human existence.

"There's no shame in being Pariahs" - Marge Simpson
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Postby PantyGnawer on Wed Oct 17, 2007 5:17 pm

I don't know what this ceiling cat shit is, but that lolcat genesis doesn't match the one I've grown to love.

http://towelianism.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/lolcat_bible.jpg

I sense a splintering of factions.
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Postby Rainswept on Wed Oct 17, 2007 8:02 pm

I liked the cat one better. It had me at "Oh hai"
I believe it's time for mankind to set aside the crutch of religion and embrace morality born of reason and truth. Those crutches have long since proven treacherous when the ground gets slippery.
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Postby Vulcan Tofu on Wed Oct 17, 2007 8:38 pm

Nice idea, but the txt spk makes my eyes hurt. :?
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Postby Dan(da haole guy) on Wed Oct 17, 2007 9:10 pm

Aloha, Vulcan Tofu..try wearing an eye-patch on each eye while reading the txt spk, it'll help.. :fsm_yarr:
KAULANA NA PUA A'O FSM..HANO HANO..FSM NO KA OI..
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Postby rkzenrage on Thu Oct 18, 2007 1:44 am

They need pics of cats for the book... I am going to ask for pics of your cats to edit.
I am going to scan some of my Blake, Dali and other prints to use.
A samurai once asked Zen Master Hakuin where he would go after he died.
Hakuin answered, "How am I supposed to know?"
"How do you know? You're a Zen master?" exclaimed the samurai.
"Yes, but not a dead one," Hakuin answered.
Zen Mondo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3YOIImOoYM
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Postby St John the Blasphemist on Thu Oct 18, 2007 3:57 am

Hmmm... I don't see any references to Red Dwarf.

Plagiarists!!

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Stupidity: What intelligent people wish they had less of.

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Postby Beardyoldblaggard on Tue Nov 06, 2007 4:29 pm

kthx bai
"Religion is what the common people see as true,
the wise see as false, and the rulers see as useful."
— Seneca

He's your god. They're your rules. You burn in hell.

Democracy is the bludgeoning of the people, by the people, for the people. - O.F.O'F.W. Wilde

Don't Vote For Anarchy - create it!

True freedom lies in realising the futility of human existence.

"There's no shame in being Pariahs" - Marge Simpson
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Postby Beardyoldblaggard on Tue Nov 06, 2007 5:01 pm

kthx bai
"Religion is what the common people see as true,
the wise see as false, and the rulers see as useful."
— Seneca

He's your god. They're your rules. You burn in hell.

Democracy is the bludgeoning of the people, by the people, for the people. - O.F.O'F.W. Wilde

Don't Vote For Anarchy - create it!

True freedom lies in realising the futility of human existence.

"There's no shame in being Pariahs" - Marge Simpson
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Postby The New Moral Minority on Wed Nov 07, 2007 5:59 am

Lolcat bible. That is soo friggin funny. I loled all the way through it..

Though I'm not going to contribute. I am too much of a grammar nazi to doso.
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Postby TheCondor on Wed Nov 07, 2007 12:56 pm

There doesn't seem to be a conflict with doing that and being a grammar nazi if you accept that it is a different dialect that may eventually become a different language, and as such, obeys a different set of rules (although they are very badly defined as far as I know).

I would also like to confirm the prevailing view that this is funny.
Cogito, ergo pirata sum.
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