My name is Mr.George Rogers. I am the head of Accounts department of a bank here in Scotland, United Kingdom. I am writing with respect to an account that was opened in my bank in 1997 and since my inception into office in 2002, nobody has operated on this account. I have the courage to look for a reliable and honest person who will be capable for this important transaction.
So that I will Pay in Nine Million Pounds Sterling (Â£9,000,000.00) Into your operating Bank account in your country. My attorney was able to contact a very capable and reliable investor who has promised to render financial assistance to us through you if only you have a HOME EQUITY LINE OF CREDIT ACCOUNT.I discovered that if i do not remit this money out urgently. It will be forfeited for nothing.
Please respond immediately I will use my position and influence to effect the legal approval and onward transfer of this fund into your account with appropriate clearance from foreign payment department. 25% will be for you while 70% will be for my attorney and me and 5% will be for the expenses that will be made by the both party. I will forward more information to you upon your urgent response also I will want you to send me your direct phone and fax number were you can be reached at all time.
To which I replied:
Wow! Who would have thought that THE Mr. Rogers would be emailing ME of all people. I am please to inform you, that I will indeed be *your neighbor*.
I am also honored to help you with your financial burden. However, we may be able to help each other out at this juncture. As it turns out I have a cellar full of mayonnaise jars containing hundreds (if not thousands) of rare Susan B. Anthony dollars, and I wish to transfer these funds into several offshore accounts. I'm sure you can understand how things go when you're married. My legal advisor said it would be a good idea to keep certain assets a secret incase things don't work out. Divorce can be hell, my friend. Women will rip out your testicles through your wallet if you're not careful.
I noticed you are from Scotland! If it's not too much trouble though, could I have my 25% of the share in Haggis? I just love that stuff, and I haven't had any since my last vacation in Edinborough so many fortnights ago. Have you ever had sheep stomach? It's simply exquisite! It's more of a refined taste though, much like many of the rich delicacies to be enjoyed by those with wealth. Some people tell me it tastes like a turd, but I disagree. It's more like a polished turd. With cheese. And cheese makes everything better!
I'd love to go forward with this, but my legal advisor has control of my money since I'm considered mentally retarded by US standards, and unable to handle finances by myself. At best, I know how to tie my shoes, bathe, make cheese sandwiches, and not make messes in the house. Therefore, he requires major business deals such as this to be done in person. Perhaps at your favorite coffee shop. And who doesn't LOVE starbucks? Also, send a picture of yourself so we know who to look for.
Gomer F. Pyle III