Two elderly women are at the beach, and one pulls a pack of cigarettes out of a rubbery pouch.
"What on earth is that?" asked the other woman.
"Oh, that's a condom. I buy them to put my cigarettes in so they don't get wet or sandy at the beach."
Later that day, the 87 year old woman goes into the pharmacy and asks the young man behind the counter for a pack of condoms. When he gets a shocked look on his face, she quickly adds "It's not what you think. They're for my Camels."
—Captain the Reverend C.S. Rowan, Esq., Gentleman Pirate
"Thank you for calling Evil Incorporated. How may I misdirect your call?"
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