10,000 (more) Commandments

This board is NOT restricted access. Keep that in mind when you post.

Moderator: Other Stuff Mods

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby ChowMein on Sun Nov 06, 2011 5:28 pm

9240 : When thou hast removeth thee lide frometh thee can uf cat foode ( an' quit buying thee economy stuff ye cheep bastid ! , oim nay gunna touche it ! ) , cast ye away thee sharp lid ande empty can , for thou knowest that i be but a gutton ande thee minced tuna soaking in that succulent sauce be notte unlike crack to me , verily shall i seek out thy can ande /or thy lid ande proceedeth to lick thee sharp edges uf thee aforementioned ande mayest cuttest mineself , this shalt vex ye greatly ande thou shalt curse your empty purse when thee vet presentest ye withe thee requeste uf payment fore services rendered .
Quote :" ARRR! GAGAGAGA ! , ...de sailin' loife fer me. ARR! GAGAGAGAGa....arr gagaga.....a...". (Popeye The Sailor)
User avatar
ChowMein
Humble Hermit
 
Posts: 1570
Joined: Sat Mar 04, 2006 8:38 am
Location: Southern part of the Great White North

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Roland Deschain on Sun Nov 06, 2011 8:42 pm

9239: Thou shalt recycle thy refuse, or at least cut down on thy packaging, as it damageth thee environment to have middens thee size of Manchester.
Roland Deschain - Half prophet, half gunslinger, all Pastafarian!

"Since Alexander Pearce escaped, over 250 people have disappeared in the Tasmanian wilderness. No remains have ever been found." - Dying Breed
User avatar
Roland Deschain
Sorcerer of Sauce
 
Posts: 3586
Joined: Thu Feb 11, 2010 2:13 pm
Location: BASE jumping off the Dark Tower.

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Roy Hunter on Mon Nov 07, 2011 6:12 am

9238: thou shalt be kind to Mancunians, it is not their fault that the Gallacher brothers and Consternation Street come from there. Or that the city smells like that. Or that the IRA failed to completely blow it up.
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." ~ Bill Hicks.
"To argue with a person who has renounced reason is like administering medicine to the dead." ~ Thomas Paine.
"One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." ~ Abraham Lincoln.
"If you're making a political point wearing a balaclava, you're a c***. It was true for the IRA and it's true now." ~ daftbeaker.
User avatar
Roy Hunter
If it's not Scottish, it's crap.
 
Posts: 15552
Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2008 6:13 pm
Location: It's the place where you are, but that's not important right now.

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby black bart on Mon Nov 07, 2011 8:24 am

Roy Hunter wrote:9238: thou shalt be kind to Mancunians, it is not their fault that the Gallacher brothers and Consternation Street come from there. Or that the city smells like that. Or that the IRA failed to completely blow it up.


Oy!...just watch it...my in-laws are Mancunians (I nearly said Manchunians then :lol: ).
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Roland Deschain on Mon Nov 07, 2011 9:32 am

9237: Thou shalt calm down.

Image
Roland Deschain - Half prophet, half gunslinger, all Pastafarian!

"Since Alexander Pearce escaped, over 250 people have disappeared in the Tasmanian wilderness. No remains have ever been found." - Dying Breed
User avatar
Roland Deschain
Sorcerer of Sauce
 
Posts: 3586
Joined: Thu Feb 11, 2010 2:13 pm
Location: BASE jumping off the Dark Tower.

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby black bart on Tue Nov 08, 2011 9:14 am

9236: Thou shalt burn Anne Robinson in a Wicker Man next solstice.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby daftbeaker on Tue Jan 10, 2012 9:09 pm

9235: If'n thou art bored then thou'st can open thine can of beer or cider with a Swiss army knife can opener. Thou shouldst be aware that thine can is liable to spray beverage over a large area.

9234. If'n thou dost open thine beverage in this way then thou shoulds't refrain from poking holes in the can. The sharp metal edges will inevitably dig into your hand when trying to drink from thee blasted thing.
A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything - Friedrich Nietzsche

But why is the rum gone?!
User avatar
daftbeaker
Help! I've fallen and can't get curry.
 
Posts: 11255
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2009 2:11 pm
Location: Surrey, England.

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby black bart on Wed Jan 11, 2012 7:29 am

9233: Thou shalt be sure to own a Swiss army knife even if it's not this one:

Image
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Roy Hunter on Wed Jan 11, 2012 8:44 am

9232: Thou shalt not watch Prime Minister's Questions, as thou shalt end up shouting at the television and upsetting thy dog.
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." ~ Bill Hicks.
"To argue with a person who has renounced reason is like administering medicine to the dead." ~ Thomas Paine.
"One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." ~ Abraham Lincoln.
"If you're making a political point wearing a balaclava, you're a c***. It was true for the IRA and it's true now." ~ daftbeaker.
User avatar
Roy Hunter
If it's not Scottish, it's crap.
 
Posts: 15552
Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2008 6:13 pm
Location: It's the place where you are, but that's not important right now.

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby black bart on Wed Jan 11, 2012 9:58 am

Roy Hunter wrote:9232: Thou shalt not watch Prime Minister's Questions, as thou shalt end up shouting at the television and upsetting thy dog.


I happened to catch it today and I just walked away shaking my head...utter bollocks.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Nef Yoo BlackBeard on Thu Jan 26, 2012 2:34 am

nummer nine fowsind an sumfin

rrrr. I coman ya ta fetch me a bakin sammich
rrrr
an put sum flayd tomado an sum letice innit
an sum mayonayz

rrrr
fank ye yer welkum
rrr
cabin boy fir hyer. jyint hat no hextra charj.
User avatar
Nef Yoo BlackBeard
Mystic of Meatball
 
Posts: 2530
Joined: Thu Jan 29, 2009 10:45 pm
Location: off me leesh

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby black bart on Thu Jan 26, 2012 7:23 am

9231: Thou shalt pat Nef Yoo on his head and say gently...keep on dreamin sunshine.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Roy Hunter on Thu Feb 23, 2012 8:52 am

9230: Thou shalt check thy diary for meetings thou hast put in there about a year and a half ago, lest thou fail to turn up on the appointed day and time.

9229: If thou failest with #9230, thou shalt blag it by saying to the irate bureaucrat on the phone "But I sent you my apologies for that one about a month ago... Have you changed your email address?", because being a bureaucrat in the NHS they will no doubt have done so.
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." ~ Bill Hicks.
"To argue with a person who has renounced reason is like administering medicine to the dead." ~ Thomas Paine.
"One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." ~ Abraham Lincoln.
"If you're making a political point wearing a balaclava, you're a c***. It was true for the IRA and it's true now." ~ daftbeaker.
User avatar
Roy Hunter
If it's not Scottish, it's crap.
 
Posts: 15552
Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2008 6:13 pm
Location: It's the place where you are, but that's not important right now.

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Roland Deschain on Fri Feb 24, 2012 9:50 am

#9228: Thou shalt learn from thy expert blaggers, who impart their wisdom to thee.

#9227: Thou shalt listen to John Lennon on thy day off.

#9226: Thou shalt scratch thy head in confusion as to the logic of expecting people to remember meetings booked 18 months ago.
Roland Deschain - Half prophet, half gunslinger, all Pastafarian!

"Since Alexander Pearce escaped, over 250 people have disappeared in the Tasmanian wilderness. No remains have ever been found." - Dying Breed
User avatar
Roland Deschain
Sorcerer of Sauce
 
Posts: 3586
Joined: Thu Feb 11, 2010 2:13 pm
Location: BASE jumping off the Dark Tower.

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby black bart on Fri May 18, 2012 7:47 am

9225: Thou shalt hope thine manager doth not jumpeth ship to Liverpool FC.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

PreviousNext

Return to Games, Fun, and Jokes

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests