10,000 (more) Commandments

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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby black bart on Tue Jul 19, 2011 5:48 am

9256: Thou shalt not abuse thee cabin boy.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby StJason on Thu Aug 25, 2011 6:15 am

9256a. ...unless you both are into that kind of thing. Thou frikkin' pervert.
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby daftbeaker on Thu Aug 25, 2011 6:56 am

9255: Commandment 9256 does not apply if the cabin boy in question is Nef Yoo.
A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything - Friedrich Nietzsche

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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Nef Yoo BlackBeard on Sat Aug 27, 2011 1:23 pm

um
nummer nine fowsind sumfing

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

i comane ye ta go ta yer womb an
an an git ta slup en yer hammik wite now
or ye kant go pillyjin kummiff tha don !
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
cabin boy fir hyer. jyint hat no hextra charj.
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby skyweir on Tue Aug 30, 2011 3:58 am

9253- Thou shalt not attempt to order the physiological activities of others if one is not in control of ones own.

9252- Especially if one is unable to count.
Vasco Pyjama asked Mr Curly: What is worth doing and what is worth having? Mr Curly replied: It is worth doing nothing and having a rest.
-- The Curly-Pyjama Letters
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Nef Yoo BlackBeard on Tue Aug 30, 2011 2:18 pm

nummer nine fowsind en sumfing

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
i comane ye ta go fetch sum fwesh dypur fur tha nex pillyjin parrdy

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

if ye dunt git dem
ye kant kum wiff us
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
cabin boy fir hyer. jyint hat no hextra charj.
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby skyweir on Fri Sep 02, 2011 3:17 am

9250- When commanding the production of diapers, thou shalt nominate the number and nature required; thus so many of Huggies, and so many of Depends; and thou shalt also list the recipients of same, that they may be held up to proper ridicule.
Vasco Pyjama asked Mr Curly: What is worth doing and what is worth having? Mr Curly replied: It is worth doing nothing and having a rest.
-- The Curly-Pyjama Letters
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby black bart on Fri Sep 02, 2011 9:12 am

9249: Thou shalt not enter into an argument with a French Woman who's teenage sons are taller than thou.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby skyweir on Sun Sep 04, 2011 4:02 am

9248- Thou shalt listen to commandment 9249, as it hath the ring of truth learned by bitter experience.
Vasco Pyjama asked Mr Curly: What is worth doing and what is worth having? Mr Curly replied: It is worth doing nothing and having a rest.
-- The Curly-Pyjama Letters
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Ubi Dubius on Mon Sep 05, 2011 6:08 pm

9247: If thou would wish people to not touch you "there", thou shalt not wear clothing with invitations to touch thou "there". For example, the young woman with the T-shirt that read "Rub these for Luck" might wish to reconsider her apparel choices.
Davros, Attorney and Pieces of Law
Keeping up appearances is a very important activity in religion; in fact, maintaining tattered illusions is its main activity. - Richard Wade, on Friendlyatheist.com
We make an idol of our fear and call it God. -Ingmar Bergman, The Seventh Seal
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Roy Hunter on Mon Sep 05, 2011 6:15 pm

9246: Thou shalt not tell a pneumatic young lady thou meetest in a pub "I bet you a pound I can make your breasts jiggle without touching them"; for when she accepts your bet, and you have grabbed her chest, given it a good jiggle and then handed her a pound; she shall call the police and have thou arrested and put on the Sex Offenders Register.
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." ~ Bill Hicks.
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby skyweir on Tue Sep 13, 2011 7:48 am

9245- And if thou dost, and are hauled before the beak, thou shalt claim to have been drunk and depressed at the time, thus acting out of character.

9244- And thou shalt append the words 'Your Worship', obsequiously, to thy every utterance in that place.
Vasco Pyjama asked Mr Curly: What is worth doing and what is worth having? Mr Curly replied: It is worth doing nothing and having a rest.
-- The Curly-Pyjama Letters
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby black bart on Tue Sep 13, 2011 10:29 am

Roy Hunter wrote:9246: Thou shalt not tell a pneumatic young lady thou meetest in a pub "I bet you a pound I can make your breasts jiggle without touching them"; for when she accepts your bet, and you have grabbed her chest, given it a good jiggle and then handed her a pound; she shall call the police and have thou arrested and put on the Sex Offenders Register.


9243 (9246b): Thou shalt not tell a young lady thou meetest in a pub: "I bet you a pound you can't make my balls jiggle without touching them with your hands" for verily she shalle kick thou in'st thine bollockes and thou shalt have lost a pound and thou shalt be in pain.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby skyweir on Fri Sep 30, 2011 9:22 am

9242- In fact, should thou meetest a young lady in a pub, thou shalt say naught but 'Hello', and then smile and agree a lot, for therein lyeth thy best hope; as detailed by the prophet Roy in another place.

Roy Hunter wrote-
You are banned for thinking when a woman is talking to you. You shouldn't be thinking, you should be listening and saying "Yes, dear" as and when required.
Vasco Pyjama asked Mr Curly: What is worth doing and what is worth having? Mr Curly replied: It is worth doing nothing and having a rest.
-- The Curly-Pyjama Letters
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby ChowMein on Sun Nov 06, 2011 5:32 am

9241: Refrain from Bogartin' that joint .
Quote :" ARRR! GAGAGAGA ! , ...de sailin' loife fer me. ARR! GAGAGAGAGa....arr gagaga.....a...". (Popeye The Sailor)
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