More Suggestive Auto Abbreviations.

[ken worley]

I have noticed that many cars feature the designation "SX" after their model name.

On some 'sporty' cars, this is said to stand for "Super-Cross".
(What it stands for on a Ford Tempo, I can only wonder)

I do know, that when I see cars on the street, or on a dealer's lot, with that shiny chrome affixation of letters 'SX, I get vaguely excited, but I don't quite know why.

Anyhow, I hear they are coming out with some new features in cars this year, complete with shiny new acronyms to slap on the rear deck lid.


Features like Forward Cabin Kneeroom

(FCK)


...High-strength Molybdenum Pistons

(HMP)


...Passenger Security, Safety, and Entertainment Ensemble

(PSSEE)


...Vehicular Azimuth Gyroscopic Integral Navigation Assistant

(VAGINA)


...High-Resolution Nighttime Indicators

(HRNI)

...and Computer-Operated Cabinboard Knowledge and Technology Engineered Automotive System

(COCKTEAS)

...I can't wait for these new advancements....

[ken worley]

On another tangent, I am trying to compile a list of adjectives which will never, ever be seen/heard in advertising copy.

I will begin:

Monkey-scented

Commode-Fresh

50% Less Fecally Contaminated!

Meatlike

Peviously Digested


(Hey, it might kill a couple minutes, what's the harm?)

[EarthRise]

Buy this car! Guaranteed to compensate for your small penis by making your ego swell!

Or, alternatively,

Buy this car! Guaranteed to make you forget that you've hit your mid-life crisis and have wasted half of your existence on frivolous pursuits!

[Land Shark]

I think there is an email that has gone around with various awkward websites. Like Pen Island. in the url, it becomes www.penisland.com

[Rev. Rowan Redbeard]

What about pre-existing auto bits?

CRANKSHAFT