Light Bulb Jokes

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Light Bulb Jokes

Postby FloridaJudy on Thu Nov 09, 2006 10:03 am

I know they're corny, but I just heard one I couldn't resist:

Q: How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; it's conditions are improving every day.
Any reports of its lack of incandescence are delusional spin from the liberal media.
That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?

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Boy, but I love kicking these cretins when they're down.

[Bad Buddhist, Judy! Very, very bad Buddhist!]
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Postby Goat Starer on Thu Nov 09, 2006 10:17 am

how many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

two but they have to be quite small.

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How many englishmen does it take to change a lightbulb?

why change anything when it has worked for years?

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How many americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

one. he holds it up and the world revolves around him
Best regards

Goat

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"If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas." - George Bernard Shaw
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How many dogs...

Postby FloridaJudy on Thu Nov 09, 2006 10:51 am

How many dogs does it take to change a lightbulb?

Border Collie: Just one. Then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Rottweiler: Make me!

German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

Lab: Oh, me, me! Pleeease let me change the light bulb! Can I? Huh? Huh?

Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy.

Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls.

Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Mastiff: Screw it yourself! I'm not afraid of the dark...

Doberman: While it's out, I'll just take a nap on the couch.

Boxer: Who needs light? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there!

Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

Westie: Dogs do not change light bulbs -- people change light bulbs. I am not one of THEM so the question is, how long before I can expect my light again?

Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out bulb?

Old English Sheep dog: Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?

Basset Hound: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

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And a few canine-free light bulb jokes:

Q:How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Fish

Q:How many gorillas does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it takes a lot of light bulbs!

Q:How many Alcoholics Anonymous members does it take to change a light bulb?
A:Only one, but the light bulb first has to admit that it's gone out.
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