Hangovers

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Postby Dr. Otis Lansa on Wed Jul 19, 2006 2:40 pm

From a response to this when it came around via email.... feel free to add a Seven Star.

Six Star Hangover (******) - (my addition... thanks soju!)
You are unable to leave bed until 8 pm the next day, and are so dehydrated that any water you try to drink gets thrown directly back up. When you clean up the puke bucket later, you find a paper clip in the vomit dregs. There's a large bruise in the centre of your chest where the security guard hit you to bring you around after passing out against someone else's apartment door (after the second set of friends brought you home for the second time). If you do make it to the toilet to shit, you have to hold a garbage can in front of your face to catch the thick ropey strands of bile and mucus that come up as you dry retch at every foul, acidic squirt. Sometimes 2-3 drops of deep yellow-brown urine with crystals in it will drip out. It burns. Your breath has so much alcohol and acetaldehyde on it that there's a brief flash of flame when you try to light a smoke (don't smoke, but it would have), and by the feeling in your liver you're convinced that somebody must have kicked you in the side repeatedly with steel-toed boots.

When you finally struggle out of bed, the most you can manage to do is sit on the couch and stare at the wall because the TV is too bright. You then go to the bathroom and run a bath, hoping to rehydrate by absorption. While laying in misery with your ears underwater listening to your heard beat, you hear it stop for 2-3 second intervals repeatedly... and don't really care.

Crawling off to bed, you shake yourself to sleep in the fetal position and wake up the next morning with a Three Star Hangover.
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Postby Al Dante on Wed Jul 19, 2006 7:27 pm

Hmm, the six-star version is going to be hard to top. Going well outside my personal experience here...

How about this:

Seven Star Hangover (*******) -

You wake up in an open coffin in a graveyard, surrounded by mounds of freshly dug dirt. It's nighttime, but the air is very warm.

You feel strange, but you can't exactly explain how. You are not hungry. You are not thirsty. You are not tired. You are not in pain.

There's a Haitiian man giving you orders, which you feel oddly compelled to obey.

- tropicAL
God gave us about 18 million bits of Scripture, and vastly greater numbers of bits of nature. Scripture had to be stated in imperfect human language; nature did not. Scripture had to be composed to be comprehensible to people with primitive technology; nature did not. Scripture can be altered by self-serving humans; nature is there to be observed anew by anyone. Scripture threatens death if you transgress certain laws; nature just kills you if you transgress certain laws. When Scripture and nature seem to conflict, which do you think should be taken literally?
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Postby Cricket on Wed Jul 19, 2006 11:22 pm

Hmmm...that last one explains any number of things... :cry:
Empusa's crew, so naked-new they may not face the fire,
But weep that they bin too small to sin to the height of their desire,
(Kipling)
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Postby lordpunkmonk on Sun May 18, 2008 6:44 pm

I agree
--LPM lord of the apocalypse
"The man with a clear conscience probably has a poor memory." --Lawrence J. Peter
111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321
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