Once upon a time there were three Spanish Conquistadors that happened to be transgendered. Their armor was pink and fluffy, with little lambs and bunnies imprinted on the codpiece. Their quest was to destroy the credibility of Beatrix Potter. First they went to the beer store to supply themselves with the necessary three kegs apiece and caught a glimpse of the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the Men's room. They bowed down, oblivious of the fact that three guillotines were ready to kill their parrots and eye-patches. They asked Him to bless their mugs of ale. As the guillotines were being readied, a gigantic purple Koolaid pitcher smashed into all three blades, preventing the severing of their umbilical cords which let the Conquistadors, pimps, weathermen, and the One who Rules Them All escape into Mordor.
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." ~ Bill Hicks.
"To argue with a person who has renounced reason is like administering medicine to the dead." ~ Thomas Paine.
"One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." ~ Abraham Lincoln.
"If you're making a political point wearing a balaclava, you're a c***. It was true for the IRA and it's true now." ~ daftbeaker.