I can top that....

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Re: I can top that....

Postby PantyGnawer on Thu Oct 23, 2008 2:59 pm

Detective TurtleHolmes wrote:Here's an interesting memory. I was on school camp a few years back. For some reason I looked into the drop dunny and found a diarrhoea-like green poo. I charged kids fifty cents to look at it. And people actually gave me money!

I can sell views of shit to people. That's how amazing I am.



What an asshole! Poo views should always be free!
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Re: I can top that....

Postby Dan (dat haole dude) on Thu Oct 23, 2008 9:37 pm

Detective TurtleHolmes wrote:I can


sell views of shit to people. That's how amazing I am.


a classic definition of a politician..you're only amazing if you're not yet indicted for some disgustoid machinations involving fuel oil, hookers, and a bilge pump..

I, on the other, saner, hand have spoken to Chuck Norris and lived to tell about it..
'Oli no au i na pono FSM e
E hau'oli na 'opio o FSM nei
'Oli e! 'Oli e!
Mau ke aloha, no FSM
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Re: I can top that....

Postby Detective TurtleHolmes on Fri Oct 24, 2008 2:28 am

PantyGnawer wrote:What an asshole! Poo views should always be free!

I assume that wasn't a pun? :D

Dan (dat haole dude) wrote:I, on the other, saner, hand have spoken to Chuck Norris and lived to tell about it..

Ha! I've roundhouse kicked Chuck Norris in the face, punched him in the nuts and tickled under his armpits and lived to tell about it!
A flap of the wings yesterday means big changes tomorrow.
Let's work together to keep the present inevitable.

So yeah, I went and got a blog.
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Re: I can top that....

Postby black bart on Fri Oct 24, 2008 5:48 am

I am so amazing I am still holding this 'Roundhouse Kick' in mid air from the last time I demonstrated it for Chuck Norris's benefit:

Image
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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Re: I can top that....

Postby Dan (dat haole dude) on Fri Oct 24, 2008 12:18 pm

AAIIEE!! thank FSM ye groo yer 'stache/goat back*..yon nekkid chin/right 'and gave mee croo knyghte-mares 'n' da colly-wobbles..(even :worship: Chuck Norris blinked....or appeared to)


*and reattached yer hooke.. :fsm_yarr:
'Oli no au i na pono FSM e
E hau'oli na 'opio o FSM nei
'Oli e! 'Oli e!
Mau ke aloha, no FSM
Dan (dat haole dude)
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Re: I can top that....

Postby ken worley on Fri Oct 24, 2008 2:47 pm

Dan (dat haole dude) wrote:AAIIEE!! thank FSM ye groo yer 'stache/goat back*..yon nekkid chin/right 'and gave mee croo knyghte-mares 'n' da colly-wobbles..(even :worship: Chuck Norris blinked....or appeared to)


*and reattached yer hooke.. :fsm_yarr:



:? I suppose the boast is in the most pidgin accent ever typed by any living haole? I am impressed, but I am not sure if you saw bart's face "nekked", or.....let's stop at that.


I can, even dressed up in my foot-tall-bear suit, sitting on a toilet, still be so frickin' sexy to the ladies that I am being sued by charlie sheen because all the hookers and bimbos in LA have fled across the mojave to maul me, leaving LA pooseless.
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Re: I can top that....

Postby Dan (dat haole dude) on Fri Oct 24, 2008 4:54 pm

..not only poosy-less, but also causing hundreds (thousands?) of Brazilian waxing salons to close..i hope you're satisfied, young man..that sound you hear is unemployed waxing technicians striding towards your house with wax pots/strips ready for revenge..

& nope, if i did the "most Pidgin accent ever typed by any living haole", i'd have to get out my Bislama/Tok Pisin dictionary/grammar & i've got a TRO still in effect limiting indiscriminate use of B/TP on the unsuspecting populace.. :wink:
'Oli no au i na pono FSM e
E hau'oli na 'opio o FSM nei
'Oli e! 'Oli e!
Mau ke aloha, no FSM
Dan (dat haole dude)
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Joined: Fri Sep 19, 2008 7:30 pm
Location: under da wing of koloa nui..

Re: I can top that....

Postby GreenRain22 on Sat Oct 25, 2008 7:44 am

I can kill people with my brain.
Kaylee: Wash, tell me I'm pretty.
Wash: If I were unwed, I would take you up in a manly fashion.
Kaylee: 'Cause I'm pretty?
Wash: 'Cause your pretty.
(Wash and Kaylee, Firefly, Heart of Gold)

It's a broken hearts parade
And I'm putting my heart out on display
There's no masquerade
Just a funeral march for love today
The band strikes up and they're playing a song
Dressed in black, and we're singing along to the
Broken hearts parade
I've never been better then I am today


(Broken Hearts Parade - Good Charlotte)
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Re: I can top that....

Postby Edd on Sat Oct 25, 2008 9:33 am

I can, by the power of thought alone, influence the past so that the parents of my enemies never have children.
"Oook." - The Librarian

Visit the new and improved Agnoistrology.com!
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Re: I can top that....

Postby Wawizzle on Sat Oct 25, 2008 10:24 am

I don't even have to think or perform an action towards anything, yet I still get women to throw themselves at me and give me their bank account #'s and passwords.
“We are often hesitant to look at other faiths or to examine our own critically because we feel that, in doing so, we are being disloyal to our own deeply felt convictions. ... And yet our beliefs are not worth very much if they cannot stand up to any scrutiny.” -- James Livingston.
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Re: I can top that....

Postby GreenRain22 on Sat Oct 25, 2008 12:36 pm

I can be SLEEPING and in the middle of the night people will give me all their money, belongings, and credit cards.
Kaylee: Wash, tell me I'm pretty.
Wash: If I were unwed, I would take you up in a manly fashion.
Kaylee: 'Cause I'm pretty?
Wash: 'Cause your pretty.
(Wash and Kaylee, Firefly, Heart of Gold)

It's a broken hearts parade
And I'm putting my heart out on display
There's no masquerade
Just a funeral march for love today
The band strikes up and they're playing a song
Dressed in black, and we're singing along to the
Broken hearts parade
I've never been better then I am today


(Broken Hearts Parade - Good Charlotte)
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Re: I can top that....

Postby Detective TurtleHolmes on Sun Oct 26, 2008 8:18 am

Hah. GreenRain, at any time I wished, I could send you into hyperorgasm just by looking in your general direction. You live in Russia, right?
*Looks at Brazil*
A flap of the wings yesterday means big changes tomorrow.
Let's work together to keep the present inevitable.

So yeah, I went and got a blog.
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Re: I can top that....

Postby GreenRain22 on Sun Oct 26, 2008 9:08 am

... America. :P

I can make anyone insanely in love with me by just thinking the first letter of their name.
Kaylee: Wash, tell me I'm pretty.
Wash: If I were unwed, I would take you up in a manly fashion.
Kaylee: 'Cause I'm pretty?
Wash: 'Cause your pretty.
(Wash and Kaylee, Firefly, Heart of Gold)

It's a broken hearts parade
And I'm putting my heart out on display
There's no masquerade
Just a funeral march for love today
The band strikes up and they're playing a song
Dressed in black, and we're singing along to the
Broken hearts parade
I've never been better then I am today


(Broken Hearts Parade - Good Charlotte)
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Re: I can top that....

Postby Wawizzle on Sun Oct 26, 2008 9:30 am

I caused the big bang.
“We are often hesitant to look at other faiths or to examine our own critically because we feel that, in doing so, we are being disloyal to our own deeply felt convictions. ... And yet our beliefs are not worth very much if they cannot stand up to any scrutiny.” -- James Livingston.
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Re: I can top that....

Postby black bart on Sun Oct 26, 2008 9:56 am

My brain is so big, your big bang just echoed inside it.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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