This one comes from a science text book we had at school. I can still remember it word for word:-
A mosquito was heard to complain,
That a chemist had poisoned his brain.
The cause of his sorrow was para dichloro-diphenyl-trichloroethane.
This is a pretty little ditty told to me by my dad. He first learnt it at school, so it must be at least 50 years old:-
Twas in the days of Babylon, when prostitutes were many.
Daniel said to the king "King. Talking of prostitutes, how's your wife?".
For this Daniel was put in the lion's den.
On the first day, the king said to Daniel "Daniel, how's your soul?".
"It aches" said Daniel.
"What aches?" said the king.
"Boll-aches" said Daniel, and the day was Daniel's.
On the Second day, the king said to Daniel "Daniel, how's your soul?".
"It tickles" said Daniel.
"What tickles?" said the king.
"Tes-tickles" said Daniel, and the day was Daniel's.
On the third day, Daniel saw the king coming and picked up a lump of crystalised camel dung, as camels were few in the days of Babylon, and threw it at the king, hitting him on the cheek.
"S**t!" said the king, and forty thousand a**holes bent to his command, as the king's word was law in the days of Babylon.
A princess who was watching this nearby said "Oh, f**k me!", and forty courtiers were killed in the rush, as her word was also law.
For this Daniel was banished to the wilderness for forty days and nights.
As Daniel entered the raggy baggy shaggy land, four raggy baggy bum bandits ragged him and shagged him, and left his pockets jingling and his balls tingling.
As Daniel entered the wilderness, a maiden stepped out and said "Wilt thou abide with me?", and he abode with her.
At the end of the forty days, Daniel left the wilderness, and the same maiden as before stepped out and said "Daniel. I'm going to have a baby. What steps are you going to take?".
"F*****g great big ones" said Daniel, as he disappeared over the hill and was never heard from again.....