How many people have read the bible?

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Re: How many people have read the bible?

Postby Qwertyuiopasd on Fri Oct 08, 2010 12:36 pm

Marry a robot. End domestic violence.


Wait, there's probably something in Leviticus prohibiting that...
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Re: How many people have read the bible?

Postby Roy Hunter on Fri Oct 08, 2010 5:25 pm

Qwertyuiopasd wrote:Marry a robot. End domestic violence.


Wait, there's probably something in Leviticus prohibiting that...
Only if it's a gentile robot that eats pork.

It was an accident - we were in a swimming pool on holiday in Gran Canaria, she got too close to me swimming, I kicked her in the thigh, my toe broke. I walked around for a week pretending I hadn't broken my toe, but I had, and I got it seen too on the NHS back in Blighty.
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Re: How many people have read the bible?

Postby Edd on Fri Oct 08, 2010 9:34 pm

Roy Hunter wrote:Does that mean the Song of Solomon is about Scott and El? (Music by Barry White, of course.)


And God and the spirit of Samuel Hahnemann made a bet casting DB as Job! (Mentioning DB is bound to mire us in the realm of broken bones indefinitely.)
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Re: How many people have read the bible?

Postby black bart on Mon Oct 11, 2010 5:56 am

Roy Hunter wrote:
Qwertyuiopasd wrote:Marry a robot. End domestic violence.


Wait, there's probably something in Leviticus prohibiting that...
Only if it's a gentile robot that eats pork.

It was an accident - we were in a swimming pool on holiday in Gran Canaria, she got too close to me swimming, I kicked her in the thigh, my toe broke. I walked around for a week pretending I hadn't broken my toe, but I had, and I got it seen too on the NHS back in Blighty.


Typical Scotsman...would rather walk around with a broken toe than fork out money to get it fixed.
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Re: How many people have read the bible?

Postby Tigger_the_Wing on Mon Oct 11, 2010 6:00 am

^ It must be catching.

(Maried to a Scot for over 30 years, walking around in compression socks and tight boots… :whistle: )
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Re: How many people have read the bible?

Postby black bart on Mon Oct 11, 2010 6:29 am

As well as losing a toenail during a mixed hockey match I once hurt a toe quite badly during a dream! I was having a vivid dream in which I was fighting for my life against some nasty villains, when my gun jammed I kicked out a la Jean Claud Van Damme and I really did kick out making rather firm contact with the wall!!!! Please don't go reading anything significant into guns jamming and stuff like that! :paranoid:
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Re: How many people have read the bible?

Postby Roy Hunter on Mon Oct 11, 2010 6:53 am

Just don't tell Scott or me (or Qwerty - isn't he studying psych now?) about the dreams where all your teeth fall out.

Freud was such a dirty old man.
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Re: How many people have read the bible?

Postby black bart on Mon Oct 11, 2010 8:24 am

Clement Freud?

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Re: How many people have read the bible?

Postby Qwertyuiopasd on Mon Oct 11, 2010 9:51 am

Roy Hunter wrote:(or Qwerty - isn't he studying psych now?)


Rofl, oh how we project. I'm just in an intro Psych class, passing through, filling a requirement. The thing I'll really be studying is Philosophy and Religion.

But yes, I'm aware of what he said those dreams mean. But I only ever had them between like, 3rd and 6th grade. I think I really was just worried about not brushing often enough. :whistle:
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Re: How many people have read the bible?

Postby black bart on Mon Oct 11, 2010 10:08 am

I took me a while to find the dream explanation for 'Teeth Falling out' which you and Roy are referring to. First I got lots of adverts for dentistry and cures for hair loss and eventually I found that in a dream The teeth falling out and extraction of them are symbols of castration as a punishment for masturbating (castration's complex). :paranoid:


But looking on the bright side I should have a lovely thick head of hair by this time next year.
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Re: How many people have read the bible?

Postby Arkaeon on Sat Feb 12, 2011 9:55 am

Yah, I read the whole New International Version cover to cover, most of the King James (4) but not in order (had to skip around among some of the more boring and incoherent bits of that version), most of the Greek Interlinear New Testament, a lot of the hippy-like "The Way" version and the more pedestrian American Revised Standard version. I also read huge amounts if not most of the "Interpreters Commentary on the Bible."

I also read one of the older versions of the Book of Mormon (while it still had magic orbs, official polygamy, and stuff like that in it), and most of the Jehovah's Witness version of the New Testament (a hilariously bad translation created just to obscure some of their theological and social assertions that flatly contradict the actual New Testament).

The Interpreters Commentary was noteworthy, in that it is intended for priests, pastors, and professors, not really for laymen or students, so it includes explanations about how much of the Bible was pieced together from literary fragments, hero-stories, and wisdom literature of former and foreign cultures. Once you've read what the theologians, church historians, and theological archaeologists have to say about the various books while discussing it amongst themselves, you either go completely mad or forever abandon the idea of the Bible being intended as a literal interpretation.

This was when I first learned about "psuedoepigraphy," the once-honorable tradition of writing books in the name of a former philosopher or leader as a sort of homage, thus analyzing current problems or issues from a revered/ancient point of view. It was a valued literary style in those days, sort of taking the author's own ego out of the equation, and also good for hiding the real author's identity from the authorities. These days we call it parable, allegory, or forgery, depending on the intent.
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Re: How many people have read the bible?

Postby juicegiver on Sun Jul 07, 2013 11:35 am

I have read through the Bible twice. The first time it took me 9 months. The second time I did it in a little over 3 months. It's an enormous book with lots of funny stuff in it that you would never learn in Sunday School. The story of Abimelech, the story of the rape of Dinah, the story of Jesus killing a fig tree, the story of Satan offering Jesus power over the whole world, the story of David chopping off 200 weiners just to impress King Saul, the whole relation with David and King Saul is rather hillarious. I'll definetly be reading it again. It's a very powerful book. They took the best works of philosophy, history, literature over the course of thousands of years. It's not a magically coincidence that we are still reading it in 2013.

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Re: How many people have read the bible?

Postby juicegiver on Sun Jul 07, 2013 12:02 pm

black bart wrote:Does it say anything about Nef Yoos in the Bible?


No but I could be wrong. I have read the Bible twice and supposedly I missed a cool story about Elijah being fed by ravens. My kids learned it in their Sunday School class. I don't think Nef Yoos is in the Bible but it's a huge book. I could have missed it.

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Re: How many people have read the bible?

Postby pieces o'nine on Sun Jul 07, 2013 2:23 pm

It lost a lot of luster for me when I found the story of the golden mice and the golden emmerods.



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Re: How many people have read the bible?

Postby juicegiver on Wed Jul 10, 2013 9:51 pm

pieces o'nine wrote:It lost a lot of luster for me when I found the story of the golden mice and the golden emmerods.



:haha:


This is frustrating. I don't recall the golden mice or the golden emmerods. Like the not so famous gospel song, "I guess I'll read it again and let it bless my soul."

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