Where do we worship and are Pirates our priests?

Submit your scriptural writings for inclusion in the Loose Canon, and your tales of ancient FSM Lore, as well as any other FSM-related writing you may have.

Moderator: All Things Mods

Where do we worship and are Pirates our priests?

Postby Mathin on Fri May 04, 2007 3:07 pm

Forgive me oh Noodely Creator! For I am unlearned!
I was just wondering, where do we worship the noodely one and are the Pirates our priests? Please enlighten me on the mass if so!
:worship: :fsm_float:
User avatar
Mathin
Ziti Zealot
 
Posts: 17
Joined: Fri May 04, 2007 2:08 pm

Postby Zankou on Fri May 04, 2007 5:29 pm

Pirates are more like Saints, and we worship at home, or strip clubs...


...with booze.
"I reject your reality, and substitute my own!"
--Adam Savage, Mythbusters


"Oh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practise to deceive!"
--Sir Walter Scott, Marmion, Canto vi. Stanza 17.


"Take what you can!", "Give nothing back!"
--Pirates of the Caribbean


Zankou, Vice Fuhrer of The Grammar Nazis.

Click here!
Zankou
Brewmeister
 
Posts: 1697
Joined: Sun Mar 18, 2007 7:17 pm
Location: Canada

Postby Mathin on Fri May 04, 2007 8:55 pm

Zankou wrote:Pirates are more like Saints, and we worship at home, or strip clubs...


...with booze.

Yar! It be my pleasure then! :fsm_yarr:
User avatar
Mathin
Ziti Zealot
 
Posts: 17
Joined: Fri May 04, 2007 2:08 pm

Postby Occam on Mon May 07, 2007 9:48 am

Our captains are like priests. Whereas a priest shephards their flock, a captain yells "Set sail for yonder!" and hits you until the ship starts going the right way. Same thing near enough.
Pastafarianism - The Religion Most Likely To Be True TM
User avatar
Occam
Bucatini Buccanneer
 
Posts: 204
Joined: Thu Sep 22, 2005 8:40 am
Location: Manchester, England

Postby Duke on Mon May 07, 2007 7:59 pm

Yep, and the most holy places of the faith are pirate ships.


Duke
"In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards."

--Mark Twain


He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

--Friedrich Nietzsche


"If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."

--Woody Allen
User avatar
Duke
Prophet of Pastafarianism
 
Posts: 8483
Joined: Thu Oct 27, 2005 4:17 am
Location: Under a Large Pile of Snow

Re: Where do we worship and are Pirates our priests?

Postby hexhunter on Tue May 08, 2007 4:54 am

Mathin wrote:Forgive me oh Noodely Creator! For I am unlearned!
I was just wondering, where do we worship the noodely one and are the Pirates our priests? Please enlighten me on the mass if so!
:worship: :fsm_float:


Well, this site is our place of worship and psychiatrists are our leaders :)
User avatar
hexhunter
Ziti Zealot
 
Posts: 20
Joined: Tue Nov 14, 2006 6:36 am

Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard on Mon Jul 30, 2007 4:11 am

You know, I was thinking about trying to get a small congregation going in my town. We've got a wonderful public park downtown, and a fairly liberal atmosphere. I was kinda hoping I could refer to myself as an Ordained Pirate in the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Of course, I would want to make sure I was ordained first...

Think it's possible?
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

By reading this post, you agree that you are solely responsible for your reaction to it.
The poster takes no responsibility for any offense taken where none was meant.
User avatar
Rev. Rowan Redbeard
Prophet of Pastafarianism
 
Posts: 18334
Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2007 10:49 am
Location: Southern Oregon

Postby agent_SNAFU on Mon Jul 30, 2007 3:31 pm

Occam wrote:Our captains are like priests. Whereas a priest shephards their flock, a captain yells "Set sail for yonder!" and hits you until the ship starts going the right way. Same thing near enough.


Aye aye!

As far as being ordained goes, considering that our lore is cannonical, one does not need to be ordained to preach, you simply need to have people to listen to you.
Occam wrote:Our captains are like priests. Whereas a priest shephards their flock, a captain yells "Set sail for yonder!" and hits you until the ship starts going the right way. Same thing near enough.


I'll get an avatar eventually...
agent_SNAFU
Ziti Zealot
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2007 3:14 pm
Location: Over There

Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard on Mon Jul 30, 2007 8:42 pm

Yeah, but it would be so much more fun to be ble to say I was ordained.
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

By reading this post, you agree that you are solely responsible for your reaction to it.
The poster takes no responsibility for any offense taken where none was meant.
User avatar
Rev. Rowan Redbeard
Prophet of Pastafarianism
 
Posts: 18334
Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2007 10:49 am
Location: Southern Oregon

Postby Zankou 2.0 on Mon Jul 30, 2007 8:45 pm

Rowan Redbeard wrote:Yeah, but it would be so much more fun to be ble to say I was ordained.


Buy a pirate ship, that'll be a good enough ordination for most of us.
--Zankou II

The thin line between genius and insanity is less of a border than a union.

"Science can purify religion from error and superstition; religion can purify science from idolatry and false absolutes. Each can draw the other into a wider world, a world in which both can flourish."
--Pope John Paul II


Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-Albert Einstein
User avatar
Zankou 2.0
Purveyor of Triviality
 
Posts: 9549
Joined: Thu Jun 21, 2007 6:14 pm
Location: Ontario, Canada

Postby Dan(da haole guy) on Mon Jul 30, 2007 10:15 pm

Aloha..try big cutlass=official ordination..besides it's hard to acquire a pirate ship to further your pasta-oral ministry without a good big sharp pointy thing...(usually several are better, especially when carried by your loyal henchpersons)..
KAULANA NA PUA A'O FSM..HANO HANO..FSM NO KA OI..
Dan(da haole guy)
Vermicelli Vizier
 
Posts: 1122
Joined: Thu May 17, 2007 12:08 am
Location: under da wing of koloa nui

Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard on Tue Jul 31, 2007 12:39 am

well, I own a several broadswords, a claymore, a hand and a half ummm... prob'ly shouldn't say the next word, multiple knives, saving up to have a katana custom made.

Never really liked cutlasses. The balance is all wonky for me.

I know that it could lead to problems if we had ordination, but still, can't you see yourself in front of a group saying "I am an ordained Pirate of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, come to tell you about His Semolinic Wisdom."
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

By reading this post, you agree that you are solely responsible for your reaction to it.
The poster takes no responsibility for any offense taken where none was meant.
User avatar
Rev. Rowan Redbeard
Prophet of Pastafarianism
 
Posts: 18334
Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2007 10:49 am
Location: Southern Oregon

Postby agent_SNAFU on Tue Jul 31, 2007 1:05 pm

Knives and swords are fun, cutlasses do suck a bit on the balance side.

But it seems to me that "ordained pirate" is a bit repetetive. Straight out of the Department of Redundancy Department. Seeing as all pirates (the candy-passing-out kind, anyway) are His chosen people, to be a pirate is to be ordained.
Occam wrote:Our captains are like priests. Whereas a priest shephards their flock, a captain yells "Set sail for yonder!" and hits you until the ship starts going the right way. Same thing near enough.


I'll get an avatar eventually...
agent_SNAFU
Ziti Zealot
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2007 3:14 pm
Location: Over There

Postby Dan(da haole guy) on Tue Jul 31, 2007 4:55 pm

Arr-oha..Rowan Redbeard..for a custom katana, you might want to employ the guy from "Kill Bill"..
KAULANA NA PUA A'O FSM..HANO HANO..FSM NO KA OI..
Dan(da haole guy)
Vermicelli Vizier
 
Posts: 1122
Joined: Thu May 17, 2007 12:08 am
Location: under da wing of koloa nui

Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard on Tue Jul 31, 2007 9:27 pm

Whoever does it, it is going to be expensive. Plus I have to finish designing the tsuba.

But back to the ordination. It is one thing to be ordained by a diety, another to be ordained by a church. If I explain that I am ordained by the FSM, it seems a bit presumptuous. If, however, I can say that I have been ordained by the Church of the FSM, it becomes a little more acceptable. (I just won't tell them that I'm also ordained by His Noodlyness).
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

By reading this post, you agree that you are solely responsible for your reaction to it.
The poster takes no responsibility for any offense taken where none was meant.
User avatar
Rev. Rowan Redbeard
Prophet of Pastafarianism
 
Posts: 18334
Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2007 10:49 am
Location: Southern Oregon

Next

Return to Scripture and Lore

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest