Legal Disclaimer: This is a parody page that combines the religions of Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM) and Scientology (focus is on the Church of Scientology, not the Free Zone International). It is done in the spirit of humor and is not intentionally malicious... AKA... PLEASE DON'T SUE ME Church of Scientology!
The Church of Flying Spaghetti Monstertology: Or Monstertology
Basic Synop: The Church of Flying Spaghetti Monstertology was created by the prophet Bobby Henderson, a glorious author of over a bamillion books (including the holy texts "Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster" and "Piranetics: The Modern Science of Treasure Hoard Growth").
How the Church Works:
Monstertology spreads the good word of the Flying Spaghetti monster by a large number of classes that one can undertake to grow in a proper spritual manner, these courses were developed by Bobby Henderson and for a "small" fee you can take these course and ascend what is called "The Ladder". Once you have reached the top of the Ladder you will have reached a state of being called "Cooked", a person who is "Cooked" is immune to most sickness and can walk into open flames without being burned.
Each step of the ladder is refered to as "Activation Noodle" (AN) and then a roman numeral is placed after this to indicate which step you are on.
AN-I -- The stage upon which all beings start their climb to the top of The Ladder. In this stage you being the process of removing the "Fibers" (more on Fibers later) from your "Noodle" (soul) so that you can become "Cooked". This stage will also give you a basic in all of the major areas of Monstertology Thought (which includes but isn't limited to: Justice, Ethics, Finance, Mental Health, Treasure Hoarding, Proper Cooking of Pasta, etc.).
estimated costs of AN-I: $10,000-$15,000
AN-II -- This stage gives more detail into how the technology to clean your Noodle of Fibers works, encouragement into becomming a "Washer" (person who washes Fibers from Noodles to attain Cooked) can occur for those who are deemed to have the proper talens in this field of work. To offset some of the costs that will most likely occur during this level it is recomended that you become a Washer so that you can get all of your "Washing Periods" (when the Washer works to clean you of Fibers) for free.
estimated costs of AN-II: $35,000- $55,00
AN-III -- This stage is a minefield of traps and tricks due to secret "Programs" placed into the human mind by an evil force over 85 Neo-Trillion years ago. Beyond this basic outline it is not safe to reveal anymore information to the general public due to the lethal failsafes in the Programs.
estimated costs of AN-III: $100,000-$250,000
At this stage of the Ladder it is not safe to reveal even a basic outline to the general public due to the fact that the failsafes in the Programs in your brains will kill you if you even get a basic understanding of the next steps up the Ladder without proper Washer assistance.
But the stages of AN go all the way up to AN-XXXXV but once you have reached AN-XXXXV you will be Cooked, just like Bobby Henderson!