Noah and the Pirates

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Noah and the Pirates

Postby Duke on Fri Apr 07, 2006 4:13 am

I have discovered some extraordinary texts pertaining to the Flying Spaghetti Monster and his Pirate disciples. This story begins 3 days ago, when I was in a rowboat, rowing away from my sinking submarine(it was filled with scorpions) in the South Pacific. There was nothing across the eternal horizon, nothing but the ocean. I paddled and I paddled, and after many arduous and monotonous hours, I saw an land mass. I cried, "Land Ho!" to no one but myself and paddled hard. Before too long I reached the land. It turned out to be an island or a peninsula of some sort, spotted with tropical fauna. The sun was beginning to sink to the skyline, and I was weary. I got out of my row boat and stumbled ashore. I stumbled right across a protrusion in the landscape. An edge of something was jutting from the sand. I started to dig it up, but I was too drained. I went to rest under a tree, and I resolved to investigate further in the morning.
When the sun dawned, I awoke and went to dig up this object immersed in sand. After a time, I hauled it up. It was an old, ornamental chest, made mostly of wood with golden hinges and gilding. It was about five feet by three feet, and its lock was rusted away. I opened it up and I was greeted magnificently by shining treasures, looted gems of all sorts, golden and silver wealth of all kinds. But no treasure I found in this casket was as wonderful as this: A lost scripture. An account detailing the encounter between Noah and the most bad-ass pirate ship around; that of Captain Wild Rogue, the H.S.S. (Henious Scoundrel Ship) Executioner. This story is told in summary in The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, but these holy writings reveal much more.

"Noah and the H.S.S. Executioner
An Account of An Encounter"


As Recorded By Privateer Fred.

This is a true tale of my experinces aboard the H.S.S. Executioner, under command of Captian Wild Rogue, particularly that of the Executioner's confrontation with a man of the name of Noah."

This is all that I have been able to interpret thus far, but I am working hard, and you can expect more of this tale soon.


Duke
"In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards."

--Mark Twain


He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

--Friedrich Nietzsche


"If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."

--Woody Allen
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Postby Duke on Fri Apr 07, 2006 5:07 am

I thought it might go in here because it is concerning things found in the book. Oh, well.

Good night! This is my last post tonight.


Duke
"In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards."

--Mark Twain


He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

--Friedrich Nietzsche


"If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."

--Woody Allen
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Postby Rebellious Waffle on Fri Apr 07, 2006 6:56 am

Yeah. That could cause problems, especially in a holdup situation.


Thou rouge! Thou rapscallion!


Good times.
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In the event that the weighted companion cube does speak, the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice.
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Postby Alpaca on Fri Apr 07, 2006 8:24 am

Mmm... I'm'a move it. You're really telling your own story here, not discussing one from the book.

Have at it in scripture-land.
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Postby Duke on Fri Apr 07, 2006 1:51 pm

Auntie Dee Dee wrote:Alpaca will decide...

Wild Rogue or Wild Rouge? Rouge is that red stuff for ladies cheeks...


A slip up in the vowel placement. I got it fixed.


Duke
"In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards."

--Mark Twain


He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

--Friedrich Nietzsche


"If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."

--Woody Allen
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Duke
Prophet of Pastafarianism
 
Posts: 8483
Joined: Thu Oct 27, 2005 4:17 am
Location: Under a Large Pile of Snow

Postby Duke on Tue Apr 11, 2006 11:05 pm

"Noah and the H.S.S. Executioner
An Account of An Encounter"


"As Recorded By Privateer Fred.

This is a true tale of my experinces aboard the H.S.S. Executioner, under command of Captian Wild Rogue, particularly that of the Executioner's confrontation with a man of the name of Noah.

Chapter One

Lemme introduce meself. I'm Privateer Fred Fire-Eyes. I was the second mate on a pirate ship called the H.S.S. Executioner. She was a large vessel, a three-masted squarerigger, with twenty cannons and a set o' swivel guns. She was a beauty to behold, unless ye be on a merchant ship. Har. Thar was a crew of two hundred trusty pirates, all ferocious in battle. Our territory was Mediterranean, and we were be quaffin' grog an' singin' shanties. Many a merchant vessel would be travelin' through, an' we was always on the hunt. 'Twas the ninth day of the third month, an' I have since forgotten the year, and the H.S.S. Executioner was piratin' around near that thar island Cyprus. We was headin' south of Cyprus, heavy from a great pillagin'. Thar was a Navy ship on our tail, but the blaggard was listin' badly from our cannon blasts. We was considerin' turnin' back ta finish the bucket off, but afore long the Navy ship was down in Davy Jones' Locker. We was figuring on headin' down ta the Nile an doin' some pillagin' down there, when we saw a colossal, misshapen contraption on the horizon. 'Twas 'bout noon-time, and sun was high, shinin' on this beast. We sailed innit's direction, thinkin' to see it closer up."

Thar's what I've got transcribed by now, an' I'm still workin' on the rest.


Duke
"In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards."

--Mark Twain


He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

--Friedrich Nietzsche


"If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."

--Woody Allen
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Duke
Prophet of Pastafarianism
 
Posts: 8483
Joined: Thu Oct 27, 2005 4:17 am
Location: Under a Large Pile of Snow

Postby Duke on Sun Apr 30, 2006 8:00 pm

"Noah and the H.S.S. Executioner
An Account of An Encounter"


"As Recorded By Privateer Fred.

This is a true tale of my experinces aboard the H.S.S. Executioner, under command of Captian Wild Rogue, particularly that of the Executioner's confrontation with a man of the name of Noah.

Chapter One

Lemme introduce meself. I'm Privateer Fred Fire-Eyes. I was the second mate on a pirate ship called the H.S.S. Executioner. She was a large vessel, a three-masted squarerigger, with twenty cannons and a set o' swivel guns. She was a beauty to behold, unless ye be on a merchant ship. Har. Thar was a crew of two hundred trusty pirates, all ferocious in battle. 'Er captain was Captian Wild Rogue, a pirate to his fir'y core. This was a man of iron if thar ever was on 'E stood about six an' a half feet tall, with arms tha' could bust a mast in half. Ye could na' look at his face withou' tremblin' in fear. 'E had eyes that seemed as dark as an icy coal. 'Is voice was a like the roar of an angry elephant. He was a dangerous raider, but 'e was on our side. Our territory was Mediterranean, and we were be quaffin' grog an' singin' shanties. Many a merchant vessel would be travelin' through, an' we was always on the hunt. 'Twas the ninth day of the third month, an' I have since forgotten the year, and the H.S.S. Executioner was piratin' around near that thar island Cyprus. We was headin' south of Cyprus, heavy from a great pillagin'. Thar was a Navy ship on our tail, but the blaggard was listin' badly from our cannon blasts. We was considerin' turnin' back ta finish the bucket off, but afore long the Navy ship was down in Davy Jones' Locker. We was figuring on headin' down ta the Nile an doin' some pillagin' down there, when we saw a colossal, misshapen contraption on the horizon. 'Twas 'bout noon-time, and sun was high, shinin' on this beast. We sailed innit's direction, thinkin' to see it closer up."

I found some more text from this chapter, and put it in.

:pirate_fish::pirate_fish::pirate_fish::pirate_fish:


Duke
"In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards."

--Mark Twain


He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

--Friedrich Nietzsche


"If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."

--Woody Allen
User avatar
Duke
Prophet of Pastafarianism
 
Posts: 8483
Joined: Thu Oct 27, 2005 4:17 am
Location: Under a Large Pile of Snow


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