Doomsday question

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Doomsday question

Postby CousinoMacul on Tue Apr 04, 2006 10:08 am

Hi! I'm new here, so I was hoping someone could help me out.

I've been following some of the circus antics surrounding Eric Pianka's selection as Distinguished Scientist by the Texas Acedemy of Science. Many of his defenders are pointing out that his comments are benign compared with what the Left Behind people are saying. This brings me to my question.


What (if any) are the Armageddon prophesies of FSMism? I am considering converting, but I need assurances that I would be one of the chosen while the preponderance of humanity suffers eternally in a vat of spoiled alfredo sauce.

I thank you in advance for any help you can provide.
—pirate candidate CousinoMacul
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Postby Dr. Otis Lansa on Tue Apr 04, 2006 10:37 am

No luck. No armageddon, no boiling vat of alfredo. If you make an effort to lead a good life, you get into Heaven. We're not about the smiting and the "only the best make it" (well, if you're bad on the forum we get to do the smiting). :wink:

Genuinely rotten people get put on dish duties and are stuck drinking bad beer.

Check out this thread:

http://www.venganza.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=3210
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Postby CousinoMacul on Tue Apr 04, 2006 12:09 pm

Thank you so much Dr. Lansa; the link to the other thread was helpful.

I fully understand the value of limiting the scope of FSMism to explaining the Creation and getting that message taught in schools. It is a pity, though, as I was looking for a grander philosophy. But do not despair—I have not totally abandoned the prospect of becoming a pirate convert.

What drew me to FSMism was that it gives a real alternative (to the alternative offered by more extreme members of a group to which I used to belong) to Evolution. I was hoping that it would also give me a real alternative to salvation and damnation criteria. Then I could pose my own Pascal's wager.

So I shall continue to peruse these forums in hopes of finding something akin to what I seek. Perhaps I will choose to become a fringe, disavowed radical who says stuff like:
That's what you say! But according to my interpretation of The Book, if you don't eat pasta and drink beer, you spend an eternity washing dishes.


Anyway, thank you again for all your help. And I hope my extremist views have not offended too many people.

Still considering becoming a pirate,
—CousinoMacul
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Postby Dr. Otis Lansa on Tue Apr 04, 2006 12:27 pm

CousinoMacul: We definitely frown on disavowed radicals who take their own interpretations too seriously, but as far as a grander philosopy goes, there is some wiggle room to create your own. I have earned the title of False Prophet as the revealer of main proponent of Hyper Spaghetti Monsterism, a heretical alternate form of the faith with a stronger connection to "logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence" than traditional, dogmatic Hendersonian Flying Spaghetti Monsterism. IT IS STRONGLY ADVISED to recognise a few points when proposing alternative interpretations to existing FSM dogma:

1) Recognize that Bobby is the True Prophet.
2) Acknowledge that your statements are heretical and do not represent the official views of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
3) Be humble! Hubris will get you a smiting by Evil Auntie Dee Dee.

Al Dante has provided a good example of how to propose an alternate interpretation with Incredibly Lucky Design.

Whether you decide to convert or not is up to you, but feel free to jump into the fun in the Pirates area... it's not mandatory to be a Pastafarian to be a pirate, and you're still helping out with global warming. :fsm_yarr:

Also check out the Pastal's Wager thread. You may get a kick out of it.


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Postby Alpaca on Tue Apr 04, 2006 7:40 pm

It's important to point out that the Gospel rejects dogma outright. Just a minor point, there.
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Postby Dr. Otis Lansa on Tue Apr 04, 2006 8:08 pm

I haven't read... so the Gospel isn't dogma? I must ponder this. I rejected LaVey for the dogma...

If there's no dogma, what's a heretic?
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Postby Rasti on Tue Apr 04, 2006 8:52 pm

As far as FSM (in my opinion, for I am only privileged to divine a small noodle of the whole) No 'End of Days' has been proscribed. My take on theology says the 'Ends' (Armagedeon, Ragnarok, etc.) have been used over the eons as a 'bogeyman', keeping the faithful in line, lest the end comes and it's time to come into account.

As for the good 'doctor', I do not disagree with his views, I believe we have overburdened this planet and a reduction in population along the lines he's stated would not be a horribly bad thing. While debateable in application, his thoughtline is a practical one.
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Postby Griffin on Thu Apr 06, 2006 7:13 pm

Rasti wrote:As for the good 'doctor', I do not disagree with his views, I believe we have overburdened this planet and a reduction in population along the lines he's stated would not be a horribly bad thing. While debateable in application, his thoughtline is a practical one.


Piractical too methinks.
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Postby Dr. Otis Lansa on Fri Apr 07, 2006 10:20 am

No, but I'll give it a pegleg and an eye patch when you find it...
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