Why FSM cannot be the creator of the universe

Submit your scriptural writings for inclusion in the Loose Canon, and your tales of ancient FSM Lore, as well as any other FSM-related writing you may have.

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Extra Virgin Birth

Postby SpaghettoVolante on Sun Sep 11, 2005 4:11 pm

The FSM did go back in time and create Extra Virgin Olive Oil and then did create itself from that beginning. This shall henceforth be known as the Extra Virgin Birth, or the Inaccurate Conception. [FSM 0:1-25]
Diffondente il verbo, come sugo di pomodoro.
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Postby The Black Spot on Sun Sep 18, 2005 7:07 am

It can be proved that the FSM is the one true creator, as His story -unlike all the other creation tales - is provable and internally consistant.

Consider- the world was unaware of His Aeronoodliness until the prophet Bobby revealed him after a vision. After this Great Savoury Revelation, it was obvious that all things had been made by Him. Obviously, this meant that the Filling One made the prophet Bobby as well.

Therefore, His Greatness made the source of His own creation. No loose ends, no empty void, no turtles. No other religion can claim such neatness.

Hail!
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Postby Rincewind SW on Sun Sep 18, 2005 4:47 pm

Auntie Dee Dee wrote:No turtles?

But I like the turtle. And the elephants.

And I want luggage made of sapient pearwood. No, I NEED luggage made of sapient pearwood.

Ah, well, maybe down a different split in the Trousers of Time.

Auntie Gytha


To be honest, sapient pearwood isn't all it's cracked up to be. Possibly it's the teeth. While my world's religion is followed by nearly all, it DOES seem to be a bit vague. Glad I'm a Pastafarian. :fsm_yarr:
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You are NEEB!
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Postby NoodleNet on Thu Oct 20, 2005 11:09 am

I can't believet his thread has gone on and on, because the Rebuttal to the original post is so OBVIOUS ---

LO, IT IS A MIRACLE!!!!!!

suspend all questioning and critical thought, this is something so blindingly obvious, straightfoward, unquestionable, and glaringly D'UH -- you simply have to accept it on faith. MIRACLES are like that. So we better all shut up and sit down!

as the FSM Hymn reminds us:

I never believed in miracles, but I've a feelin' it's time to try...
I never belie-eeeee-ved in the ways of Monster, but I'm beginnin' to wonder why...
Don't, don't break the spell... (etc.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On the Sixth Day, He Created Napkins
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