Pastafarian Rapture?

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Postby SleepyWeasel on Mon Jan 02, 2006 6:32 pm

Question: If you're a bad person in life, are you punished for all eternity? I mean, if the FSM is all-loving, wouldn't He forgive those who are truly sorry and see the error of their former ways?
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With you in His Noodlyness
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Postby Alpaca on Mon Jan 02, 2006 6:38 pm

Yes. Yes He would, if they truly repented.
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Postby Sir Francis Drake on Mon Jan 02, 2006 6:50 pm

But I've heard that Pastafarians get served first at the Beer Volcano.
Taste the truth, savor the satire, pass the pasta!

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Postby Alpaca on Mon Jan 02, 2006 6:56 pm

Hmm. I always thought that the Beer Volcano was so infinite that everybody could potentially be served at once.
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Postby rabid on Mon Jan 02, 2006 7:15 pm

perhaps thats true but they are made to wait their turn anyway just for spite.
"fOLLOWING tHE pATH oF lEAST rESISTANCE iS wHAT mAKES tHE rIVER crooked!"
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Postby ergodic on Mon Jan 02, 2006 9:38 pm

Auntie Dee Dee wrote:
Scarier than a regular punishment--the punishment one DESERVES!


I'm reminded of the simpsons where Homer goes to the Ironic Torture part of hell and they feed him all of the donuts in the world. It backfires since he manages to eat them all though...

I think a fitting punishment would be to reincarnate DeLay (and cronies) as single mothers of 4 kids trying to survive on minimum wage. The fact that he can wheel and deal with guys like Abramoff and abuse congress to give billion dollar handouts to already prosperous corporations while cutting all sorts of federal aid aimed towards the individual citizens who need it most just goes to show how out of touch he is with the reality that tens of millions of working poor in this country experience. Letting him experience that reality firsthand would be a fitting punishment in my not-so-humble-looking-back-at-what-I-just-wrote opinion. Although this is my opinion, I am in no way worthy and would graciously respect whatever treatment His Divine Noodlyness sees fit.

Maybe the nonbelievers could be forbidden from eating aldente pasta for all eternity and, instead, be forced to consume overcooked goo pasta or pasta that sat under a heating lamp and got crispy (like mass produced university dining pasta).
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Postby fusiontortellini on Tue Jan 03, 2006 6:37 am

ergodic wrote:I think a fitting punishment would be to reincarnate DeLay (and cronies) as single mothers of 4 . . .


You forgot to make them black.

(for those who object to the nomenclature, first get a life, and then refer to the Polysyllabic Bullshit-o-Meter.) :roll:

Maybe we should just give them the same cooking skills as my mother -- whose pasta makes Chef-Boyardee taste *really* good!
Who really might actually be back this time . . .

May the Fiori be with you. And may It have Meatballs.
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Postby Sir Francis Drake on Tue Jan 03, 2006 12:27 pm

Naw, not bad enough. My Mom was totally oblivious to how bad a cook she was. She thought that horror of macaroni and canned tomato soup that she called spaghetti was perfectly delicious.
Taste the truth, savor the satire, pass the pasta!

Dona Nobis Pasta

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Postby fusiontortellini on Tue Jan 03, 2006 12:38 pm

Yes, but did she come up with "Glippy Glop"? Hamburger gravy over potatoes (which were always underdone). No herbs or spices ever. Stuff in cans is heaven.

Oh yeah, and all vegetables must be cooked until they taste exactly alike -- cardboard.

And add tuna to your "spaghetti" to make tuna cassarole. Actually, that was one of her better efforts.
Who really might actually be back this time . . .

May the Fiori be with you. And may It have Meatballs.
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Postby Sir Francis Drake on Tue Jan 03, 2006 3:57 pm

Oh my FSM! It's a wonder you survived to be with us here today.
Taste the truth, savor the satire, pass the pasta!

Dona Nobis Pasta

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Postby Alpaca on Tue Jan 03, 2006 4:04 pm

My grandmother is here, and she feels the need to always keep herself somehow useful. So she makes home-made noodles. They're so incredibly delicious...
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Postby fusiontortellini on Tue Jan 03, 2006 5:32 pm

My S.O. is half Italian. His mother makes the most amazing ravioli -- but only occasionally. It's the first course at Thanksgiving and Easter.

Christmas is the Irish side -- so it's store bought. At least the Irish recognize their incompetence.

But my mother's German-Czech, so she has no excuse!
Who really might actually be back this time . . .

May the Fiori be with you. And may It have Meatballs.
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Postby Alpaca on Tue Jan 03, 2006 5:33 pm

My family is Polish, so similar lack of excuses there.
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Postby fusiontortellini on Tue Jan 03, 2006 5:35 pm

And my mother's mother is a fabulous cook. Though, considering how the female generations tend to relate in my family, that may be why my mother's so bad. But I learned the family recipes from Grandma, and am the Conservator for this generation. Still trying to decide who to inaugurate for next Conservator -- but the oldest is only ten, so there's time.
Who really might actually be back this time . . .

May the Fiori be with you. And may It have Meatballs.
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Postby Alpaca on Tue Jan 03, 2006 5:42 pm

I know that I need to learn. I'm 15, so it'll be faster than imaginable before I go to college. And I'd better know some good ramen recipes by then.
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