Pastafarian Rapture?

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Pastafarian Rapture?

Postby ergodic on Sat Dec 31, 2005 11:44 pm

Has anyone detailed a story for our own pastafarian rapture event?

Those who reject and mock The Great Noodly One should be doomed to eternal digestive tract disorders and ketosis while true believers are gently lifted into heaven by The Noodly Appendage.

It would be a great way to scare the piss ignorant into obedience and financial commitment. It works for the fundies right?
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Postby ergodic on Sun Jan 01, 2006 12:36 am

I was thinking it would be a pointed jab at Christian beliefs intended to point out their silliness. Sort of like our version of genesis and our version of the wedge strategy...

The scaring people into belief was a sarcastic joke bud... thought sarcasm was the native language here?!?!
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Postby Alpaca on Sun Jan 01, 2006 1:50 am

It is, and while we take the ridiculously passionate Church structure here very seriously, our jabs are directed mostly at the teaching of Intelligent Design in school. People can have their religion. People don't have to believe so strongly in the FSM as we do. As long as they're good, they get into heaven. If they're bad, they wash dishes.
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Postby Sir Francis Drake on Sun Jan 01, 2006 12:44 pm

RAmen!
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Postby Alpaca on Sun Jan 01, 2006 1:32 pm

Eloquently put, as always, Dee Dee.
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Postby ergodic on Sun Jan 01, 2006 5:44 pm

I apologize for the venomous language I used in the top post.

I directed it at Christiantity but my beef is not with the Christian faith itself. My major gripe with the rapture is the notion of exclusivity in (some, not all) organized religions - believe X like we do or suffer hideously_miserable_consequence Y. I fully respect a person's choice in faith as long as they don't tell unbelievers they are going to suffer eternal pain and torture for a lack of a specific faith (or try to rewrite the biology curriculum to promote their diety alone).

I acknowledge, in hindsight, that this is a highly charged criticism that was poorly worded and inappropriate. I apologize and hope I can assure you I'm not out to trash Christianity itself - only those who tell me I'm going to hell with such ardor.

Perhaps some FSMers agree with me to some extent, but I realize it isn't worth insulting or locking horns with those who don't so I'll more than gladly drop the issue. As suggested, I think it would be more prudent to focus on ammunition for the ID debate and keep the rest of it fun and faith-neutral.
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Postby Sir Francis Drake on Sun Jan 01, 2006 5:52 pm

Eh, FSM knows you meant well.

I was reading the Wedgie documents last week and envisioned a Pastafarian rapture where everyone who had not yet* accepted FSM would receive a divine wedgie. There would be momentary discomfort and embarrassment. Then we'd all have a good laugh.

*note use of the word "yet". It has been said that FSM will forgive and receive us all.
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Postby Alpaca on Sun Jan 01, 2006 6:30 pm

Ooh. I'm gonna need to try that one out on the freaks who keep trying to convert me.

Maybe I should call up the 700 club...
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Postby rabid on Mon Jan 02, 2006 5:52 pm

still i find the idea of non-believers spending the rest of eternity in someting like the Pot of Boiling Ragu to be amusing. so what does happen to people who dont go to our heaven? (wow, did i really just ask that? its like being four years old in church again. mommy, were do bad people go?) but seriously, does everyone go to pasta heaven or what?
"fOLLOWING tHE pATH oF lEAST rESISTANCE iS wHAT mAKES tHE rIVER crooked!"
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Postby DeadPoet on Mon Jan 02, 2006 5:54 pm

I think we had at some point agreed on the theory that "bad" people would have to wash the dishes...fair enough.
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Postby rabid on Mon Jan 02, 2006 5:58 pm

for etenity? thats harsh. i hate doing dishes.
"fOLLOWING tHE pATH oF lEAST rESISTANCE iS wHAT mAKES tHE rIVER crooked!"
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Postby Alpaca on Mon Jan 02, 2006 6:05 pm

They only have to do it for a while, methinks. There's a steady flow of 'em.
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Postby Sir Francis Drake on Mon Jan 02, 2006 6:17 pm

Gross! I don't want those guys licking MY shoes. Do we have to be wearing the shoes at the time? EWWW!
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Postby Alpaca on Mon Jan 02, 2006 6:18 pm

I think you have a choice...
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Postby Sir Francis Drake on Mon Jan 02, 2006 6:21 pm

Whew. I don't even want to see DeLay in the afterlife, let alone slobbering all over me pirate boots.

Then again, if I'm drunk, it might be kind of funny...
Taste the truth, savor the satire, pass the pasta!

Dona Nobis Pasta

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