FSM Hell?

Submit your scriptural writings for inclusion in the Loose Canon, and your tales of ancient FSM Lore, as well as any other FSM-related writing you may have.

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Cerberus
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Postby Cerberus » Mon Aug 22, 2005 1:09 am

Its all clear to me now. They are sent to test our faith, unbelievers that they are and must be cut from this mortal coil and cast out of the minds of those pitiful wretches whom have been corrupted.

Our own pasta-cism will have to be enacted against these defilers of faith.
Religious war at its very simplest is killing each other over who has the best imaginary friend.

Light a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

onlainari
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Postby onlainari » Sat Aug 27, 2005 1:46 am

Why do you copy christianity so much?

There is no Hell. All go to the stripper factory and beer volcanoe.
I am a Flying Spaghetti Monsterian. My God has Noodly Appendage. The reduction in pirates is the cause of global warming. With the exception of this line, this happens to be my sig in all the forums I've registered to.

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gnoodles
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Postby gnoodles » Sat Aug 27, 2005 2:16 am

onlainari wrote:There is no Hell. All go to the stripper factory and beer volcanoe.


Ahh, but that's not necessarily the case. Most of us do go to heaven, and get to partake of the benefits of the stripper factory & beer volcano. But there is a place reserved for a few-- but only a few, and only those with the least flimsy of moral values. It's known as Al Dente's Inferno, and trust me, you don't want to spend an eternity there. The only way to be certain of where you're going is to make certain you've been touched by His Noodly Appendage. Be sure to wear at least occasional pirate regalia, and make sure your morals are at least reasonably flimsy. If you do all these things, you can rest easy, for you will be assured of your table at the stripper factory.
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