I have very little free time, but when I get it I write this. . . er, I mean I am visited by visions from the FSM telling me what to write:
In the beginning the Flying Spaghetti Monster created the heavens and the earth. . . and it was Noodly.
The earth was without form, and void; and chicken broth was on the face of the deep. And the Spirit of FSM was hovering above the face of the broth.
Then FSM said â€œLet there be Noodleâ€; and there was Noodle. And FSM saw the Noodle; that it was good; and FSM divided the Noodle into Seven, and named them the Seven Holy Noodles. And the Seven Holy Noodles were spread out upon the earth, and gave it form. And Lo! FSM made the land form over the Seven Holy Noodles, and cooled the fiery broth. So the evening and morning were the first day.
And FSM said â€œLet there be small green Noodles in the ground, and let there be herbs of Noodles, and let there also be fruit trees that yearly yield Noodles. And Lo! There were small green Noodles in the ground, and there were herbs of Noodles, and there were also fruit trees that yearly yield Noodles. And FSM saw them all; and that they were good.
Then FSM said â€œLet Me make Man in My own image, according to My likeness; let them have dominion over all that is Noodly.â€ And Lo! FSM made Man. But he made him not in His own likeness. Instead he made him in the likeness of Himself in one of those neat Fun House Mirrors that made His Holy Noodlieness either very tall and thin or very short and fat, but that knowledge is for His Holy Noodlienesses Mind alone.
And then the FSM said â€œLet there be a mountain, and some trees. . . and a midget.â€ And Lo! There was a mountain, and on the mountain were some trees, and slightly to the left of the mountain was a midget. And so was the second day.
On the morning of the third day, the FSM created alcohol, and sat day and had a drink. Then He created shaving cream and a razor and shaved his Noodly Appendages. And then he lay down and had a little nap. And that day was a Wednesday, and from that day hence all of the Chosen People must have a drink, shave, and have a little nap on the morning of Wednesday.
On the evening of the third day FSM created all animals, and then He got stoned and also created the Platypus.
Then He forged the Uberspiffy Garden, and inside of it he put Man, whom he named Kyle. â€˜Cause Kyle is just a neat name.
More to come, I know there's already a Genesis, I read it, I just feel I need to express my vision as well.
I am anti-"txt talk." I support good grammar. I am part of the "Save the Vowels" movement. For your sanity and mind, type out your damn words.