Gasp! Conflict involving the beer volcano!

Submit your scriptural writings for inclusion in the Loose Canon, and your tales of ancient FSM Lore, as well as any other FSM-related writing you may have.

Moderator: All Things Mods

Gasp! Conflict involving the beer volcano!

Postby Alpaca on Mon Dec 12, 2005 8:22 pm

No matter what flavor one should choose for one's ideal beer volcano, there is a larger question: does the beer from the beer volcano intoxicate? Is it possible to be intoxicated at all in heaven?

In theory, I should most certainly think so, since the world is so wonderful under the influence. But is inebriation really necessary? Isn't heaven perfect as it is? Thus, wouldn't intoxication only detract from its ideal state of being?

These thoughts leave me torn, conflicted, and troubled.
User avatar
Alpaca
Go-To Guy
 
Posts: 3038
Joined: Sun Dec 04, 2005 10:44 pm

Postby Rasti on Mon Dec 12, 2005 9:21 pm

In Heaping Helping, intoxication is possible without any drink whatsoever. It allows one to discover that you do not need drink to achieve this state of mind.

It also helps that you don't suffer whiskey-D, with all the stripprs around.
'We must Dissent', for the noodles ;)
A Validus Noodle , Pro valde Pax
User avatar
Rasti
Farfalle First Mate
 
Posts: 524
Joined: Sun Sep 11, 2005 11:51 am
Location: Florida: Manipulating Hurricanes in his Noodley Name ;)

Postby Antipaladin on Wed Dec 14, 2005 2:47 pm

You can get drunk if you want to, but you don't have to. Either way, there are no hangovers.
He's dastardly. He loves catastrophy. His schemes are masterly. Sixteen and half-past-three.
User avatar
Antipaladin
Fusilli Fuselier
 
Posts: 167
Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2005 7:56 pm
Location: Between apoplectic and apathetic

Postby Jughead McAnus on Wed Dec 21, 2005 8:18 pm

in my heaven, i would constantly be drinking just to the point of total innebriation, without the eventual hangover. Beer would flow like wine, with cold and colder running beer from every tap in the house.
Join the Anti-Meisner Coalition
(he hates spaghetti)
http://amc.10.forumer.com/
User avatar
Jughead McAnus
Conchigliette Convert
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Dec 21, 2005 7:47 pm

Postby LibraLabRat on Wed Jan 04, 2006 5:58 am

Jughead McAnus wrote:in my heaven, i would constantly be drinking just to the point of total innebriation, without the eventual hangover. Beer would flow like wine, with cold and colder running beer from every tap in the house.


But some beer is best when drunk at room temp.....and I would tax the Beer Volcano because depending on what day, time of day, and the vagaries of my mood would depend on what type of beer I wanted...as long as it isnt OK+
'There are no atheists in foxholes' isn't an argument against atheism, it's an argument against foxholes."
-James Morrow
User avatar
LibraLabRat
Humble Hermit
 
Posts: 1663
Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2005 7:29 am
Location: Denham Springs, LA

Postby alt_phil on Wed Jan 04, 2006 11:34 am

From another perspective...

How could it be heaven without drunk girls?

Thank you - I rest my case.
:This space left intentionally blank:
User avatar
alt_phil
Gnocchetti Galley Slave
 
Posts: 65
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2006 3:04 pm
Location: In my pants

Postby fusiontortellini on Wed Jan 04, 2006 9:29 pm

If all you've had are drunk girls, you really need to work on your seduction technique. :wink:

I'm not NEARLY as much fun when I'm drunk! :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Who really might actually be back this time . . .

May the Fiori be with you. And may It have Meatballs.
User avatar
fusiontortellini
Agnolini Admiral
 
Posts: 882
Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2005 7:16 pm
Location: Boston, MA

Postby darren996 on Wed Jan 04, 2006 9:31 pm

Now you sound like my first ex-wife. :mrgreen:

I never had anybody hit me harder... :mrgreen:
Suspicion breeds confidence!
User avatar
darren996
The Pan
 
Posts: 1092
Joined: Tue Nov 22, 2005 12:18 pm
Location: Hell (okay it's America)

Postby Alpaca on Wed Jan 04, 2006 9:41 pm

The stripper factory can make them pre-drunk, and eternally drunk for all your needs.
User avatar
Alpaca
Go-To Guy
 
Posts: 3038
Joined: Sun Dec 04, 2005 10:44 pm

Postby fusiontortellini on Wed Jan 04, 2006 9:42 pm

You obviously deserved it . . . :twisted:

I, on the other hand, have never been married. I incorporated with my S.O. instead. It's a lot better with a corporation; everything can be spelled out in the bylaws.

I've never been into violence; it hurts me too much. Literally. :roll:
Who really might actually be back this time . . .

May the Fiori be with you. And may It have Meatballs.
User avatar
fusiontortellini
Agnolini Admiral
 
Posts: 882
Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2005 7:16 pm
Location: Boston, MA

Postby darren996 on Wed Jan 04, 2006 9:43 pm

Me and alt_phil need all the help we can get. :mrgreen: Just look at us.
Suspicion breeds confidence!
User avatar
darren996
The Pan
 
Posts: 1092
Joined: Tue Nov 22, 2005 12:18 pm
Location: Hell (okay it's America)

Postby fusiontortellini on Wed Jan 04, 2006 9:43 pm

Besides, we women do NOT want our strippers drunk. It usually had an unfortunate effect. Floppiness. :roll:
Who really might actually be back this time . . .

May the Fiori be with you. And may It have Meatballs.
User avatar
fusiontortellini
Agnolini Admiral
 
Posts: 882
Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2005 7:16 pm
Location: Boston, MA

Postby Alpaca on Wed Jan 04, 2006 9:47 pm

Which is why drunk female strippers for the men are great, and the women can have them (ahem) unadulterated (ha-ha). No need to get the other residents of heaven drunk when you have strippers to be drunk for you.
User avatar
Alpaca
Go-To Guy
 
Posts: 3038
Joined: Sun Dec 04, 2005 10:44 pm

Postby fusiontortellini on Wed Jan 04, 2006 9:48 pm

Oh, but it's the *process* that counts. Much more fun when you're sober. Though *pretending* to be drunk can be even more fun for a woman. Absolutely hilarious, in fact. :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Who really might actually be back this time . . .

May the Fiori be with you. And may It have Meatballs.
User avatar
fusiontortellini
Agnolini Admiral
 
Posts: 882
Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2005 7:16 pm
Location: Boston, MA

Postby Alpaca on Wed Jan 04, 2006 9:51 pm

Oh, but there are always those moments when one party doesn't feel like experiencing said process while the other does, and so instead of useless bickering and empty accusations, the other party can just create a temporary third.
User avatar
Alpaca
Go-To Guy
 
Posts: 3038
Joined: Sun Dec 04, 2005 10:44 pm

Next

Return to Scripture and Lore

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests

cron