Need scholorly theological help for an ancient translation

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Need scholorly theological help for an ancient translation

Postby TentacleDemon on Mon Dec 05, 2005 11:23 pm

I have been hard at work trying to translate tablets from the ancient tongue. I have been working on an inscription on an old perogie tablet, estimated to be over two weeks old, however a large bite has been taken out of the left side of the perogie.

The partial tablet reads as follows:
????? di distruzione.
????? dell'estinzione.
Il vulcano di birra li
rende di destra.
??????????????????
??? suoi occhi vedono
nella vostra anima.
??????????????????
Ora cambi il
tovagliolo degli
estrattori.*


Does anybody have sources to later, more innacurate complete translations. I was hoping that I wouldn't have to take that route, but it seems that augmenting with a newer mistranslated source is the closest we will get.


*It should be noted that this literally translates to "Time changing the napkin of the extracting machines." The ancients did not have a fully developed language system when this was written. There is still very much debate over what is this means. Some think it is meant to encapsulate the fact that a Fazoli's once ran out of paper towels in the bathroom, while others infer "extracting machine" to be stripper, and postulate that this is in fact, a command issued to the sinners to wash the stripper's towels in hell-light.
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Postby Duke on Mon Dec 05, 2005 11:40 pm

You should take that bad boy down to Other Languages, they can translate anything for you!

I myself am um, translating some acient Ninja texts, showing the beginnings of Ninja Pastafarianism.


Duke
"In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards."

--Mark Twain


He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

--Friedrich Nietzsche


"If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."

--Woody Allen
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Postby Alpaca on Mon Dec 05, 2005 11:49 pm

This piece seems to express distress.

It seems to me that some strippers from the factory accidentally fell into the beer volcano, and are now in danger of destruction and extinction.

The pamphlet as a whole seems to be a cry for help, for somebody to bring a napkin-based extracting machine to save the strippers.

Quickly! Scour the generic twelve-year-old protagonist's back yard/grandmother's attic/weird uncle's basement/dog's intestinal tract! How else are you gonna get a decent quest going?
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Postby Duke on Tue Dec 06, 2005 12:07 am

Alpaca wrote:This piece seems to express distress.

It seems to me that some strippers from the factory accidentally fell into the beer volcano, and are now in danger of destruction and extinction.

The pamphlet as a whole seems to be a cry for help, for somebody to bring a napkin-based extracting machine to save the strippers.

Quickly! Scour the generic twelve-year-old protagonist's back yard/grandmother's attic/weird uncle's basement/dog's intestinal tract! How else are you gonna get a decent quest going?


Ah yes, a Quest! I am in a few, currently, none of them are clearly defined. I wish someone would make a clearly defined quest..........


Duke
"In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards."

--Mark Twain


He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

--Friedrich Nietzsche


"If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."

--Woody Allen
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A conspiracy against ninja pirates?

Postby JohnS on Wed Dec 07, 2005 5:18 pm

Hi Duke - I notice that you're busy translating ancient ninja texts regarding their early Pastafarianism. This reminded me of the recent U.S. Coast Guard operation "Waterway Watch" which specifically searches the U.S. coasts for ninja/terrorists:

From an exchange between Coast Guard Chief Petty Officer Penny Collins and Neal Conan (host of Talk of the Nation, on NPR, where this excerpt comes from):

CONAN: I have to ask you. Improper or unusual clothing?
COLLINS: Right, uhmmm, in an area where there would be, ahhh, somebody dressed in say, ahhh, a really black diving suit or something like that...
CONAN: A ninja outfit or something like that. I see.
COLLINS: Yeah, right. You would be suspicious of somebody. Especially in an area if you are a boater that is familiar with your area and you see someone that is dressed in that type of attire, then you would probably say there's something not quite right with this.


[From Jesus' General, 8 August 2004, http://patriotboy.blogspot.com/2004/08/ ... ninja.html ]

In that this comes from the Coast Guard, perhaps the Pastafarian Ninjas and Pirates have entered into an alliance? Perhaps FSM has sent his ninja minions secure the coasts so that we can launch our new pirate ship? Perhaps the the Republican party recognizes the dire threat to their belief system represented by Pastafarian ninjas?

I don't know, but this seems like far too much of a coincidence, and since complex things like coincidence cannot happen without design, I suspect there is a conspiracy afoot.

Already, vigilant American patriots have shut down one major ninja raid in Cambridge, MA:

Ninja: Tourists in Al-Qaeda scare

Police were called in after an officer noticed the group dressed from head to toe in distinctive black Japanese warrior outfits. [...] Student Jon Whymark, who witnessed the drama unfold on Wednesday afternoon, said: "It was ridiculous to believe these kids were anything more than street performers. ... "I was just dumfounded by the police response and the reaction of some American tourists who seemed to think Al-Qaeda were about to attack."


http://patriotboy.blogspot.com/2004/09/ ... fraid.html
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Re: Need scholorly theological help for an ancient translati

Postby darren996 on Wed Dec 07, 2005 5:52 pm

Auntie Dee Dee wrote:E.Raser's work, by appearances, but maybe just by inspiration.

I am convinced that E.Raser is our very own harbinger of the Truths of Eternity. 8) 8) 8) 8)


He's the harbinger of something, that's for sure. :mrgreen:
Suspicion breeds confidence!
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