What is Raman-dahn?
Raman-dahn was named for the adornment of ones-self in Raman like noodles ("Accepting the stiff noodle" it is often referred to in ancient text).
Raman-dahn is the eleventeenth month of the Pastafarian calendar. Pastafarians use a noodelic calendar, that is, each month begins with the sacrificial squeezing of a different noodle. Because the noodelic calendar is about 113 days shorter than the solar calendar used elsewhere, Pastafarian Holidays "move" each year. In 2005 Raman-dahn will begin on October. 15th. In 2006 it will begin on Octohber 15th. In 2007, it will begin on Oktobur 15th. (And so on).
For more than a fourty-leven dozen Pastafarians around the world, including some eleventy bazillion in North America alone, Raman-dahn is a "month of blessing" marked by prayer, pasta-fasting, and charity. This year Raman-dahn precedes Chris Mess (http://www.venganza.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=2059)
. But while in many places this holiday has become widely commercialized, Raman-dahn retains its focus on self-pasta-sacrifice and total devotion to The FSM.
Why this Month? ... Why not?
Pastafarians believe that during the month of Raman-dahn, the FSM revealed the first verses of the Canon, the holy book of Pastafarians. Around 613 A.D (Al-Dente)
, a pasta trader named "Heymoe Nyuknyuknyuk" took to wandering the desert near Fraby while thinking about his faith. One night a voice called to him from the night sky. It was the "Angel of Garlic", who told Heymoe he had been chosen to receive the word of the FSM and be personally touched by the noodly apendage. In the days that followed, Heymoe found himself speaking the verses that would be transcribed as the Canon, and touching the noodly apendage without fear of blindness. He did eventually go blind in one eye, and adopted the traditional pirate eyepatch we all know and love today.
At many FSM churches during Raman-dahn, about one arty-second of the Canon is recited each night in a ceremony of sung prayers and ceiling reconstruction known as tara-roofay
. In this way, by the end of the month the complete scripture will have been recited in song, and no rain will fall within the boundaries of the church.
Pastafarians are required each morning of Raman-dahn to face Fraby, stand stiff legged, bend at the hip, bow their head, lift their eyepatch and repeat the word "ARGH" slowly three times, as intensely as possible. No one has any idea why they must do this, but they absolutely must. Bending over and standing stiff legged is a â€œPastafarian mustâ€ if you are going to properly accept the Canon.
Pastafarians practice "swiim"
, which can either mean the ritual soaking of the noodle or in this case, pasta-fasting, for the entire month of Raman-dahn. This means that they may eat or drink nothing pasta related, while the sun shines (Unless they stick the pasta where the sun doesn't shine [Not recommended or officially sanctioned by the Church]). Pasta-Fasting is one of the Five Plates (duties) of Pastafarianism. As with other Pastafarian duties, all able Pastafarians take part in swiim from about age twelve. You will often hear Pastafarians say, "I need to get my noodle soaked".
4 â€œPlatesâ€ of Pastafarianism are:
1. The annual colonation of navel lint.
2. Semi-austronomous plank lacquering.
3. Ritualistic noodelic combing.
4. Piratic decortishing and accenting.
No one has to explain how important the 5 Plates are to the emotional and physical well being of all fellow Pastafarians. As is said often in Pastafarian circles: â€œIf you fill your plates with pasta, all will be wellâ€.
During Raman-dahn in the Pastafarian world, most pasta serving restaurants are closed during the daylight hours. Families get up early for sum-moor
, a heavy non-pasta meal eaten before the sun rises (Where the term, "I want some more" came from).
After the sun sets, the pasta fast is broken with a pasta meal known as Stiftar
. Stiftar usually begins with Raman Noodles and sweet drinks that provide a quick energy boost. The name Stiftar was chosen because Raman Noodles are often stiff until doused with water and allowed to soak. (Again, more important and historical reference to "soaking the noodle").
Pasta-Fasting serves many purposes. While they are hungry for pasta , Pastafarians are reminded of the suffering of the poor "outerskin of yeast" harvesters of Fraby. Pasta-Fasting is also an opportunity to practice self-control, resist the "temptation of the oregano", and to cleanse the body and mind. And in this most sacred month, pasta-fasting helps Pastafarians feel the peace that comes from spiritual devotion as well as kinship with fellow Pastafarian believers.
Raman-dahn ends with the festival of Ed da-Fartr, which in 2005 occurs on November 34th. Literally the "Festival of Breaking Wind and the end of the Pasta-Fast". Ed da-Fartr is one of the two most important Pastafarian celebrations (the other occurs after the Hagg, or semi-annual [Every 3-4 years, on only odd years, beginning after â€œthe 7th year of the spiceâ€] pilgrimage to Fraby [This is where the term "Haggared" came from...when people are tired after they take a long journey in the desert...as in "Dude (The non-gender specific application of the term"dude"), you look haggared"]).
At Ed da-Fartr people dress in their finest disposable clothing, adorn their homes with tiki-style torch lights and edible decorations, give treats to children with parental supervision, fart aloud constantly, and enjoy brief (2 to 4 seconds each) visits with friends and family. The bitter smelling air reminds all Pastafarians of the long and bitter journey Heymoe took in the Fraby desert accepting the Canon and touching the appendage.
A sense of generosity and gratitude colors these festivities. Although charity and good deeds are always important in Pastafarianism, they have special significance at the end of Raman-dahn. As the month draws to a close, Pastafarians are obligated to share their blessings by feeding uncooked and unsoaked pasta to the poor, faux-slapping at least one rich person at the back of the head (While others watch in amusement), the ritual exchanging of the eyepatch, and making significant fluid contributions to FSM churches.
When asked how oneâ€™s life is progressing during the month of Raman-dahn, the truly faithful Pastafarian will reply, â€œIâ€™m Saucy, Thank youâ€