Pastafarian Holiday II - The legend of Raman-dahn

Submit your scriptural writings for inclusion in the Loose Canon, and your tales of ancient FSM Lore, as well as any other FSM-related writing you may have.

Moderator: All Things Mods

Pastafarian Holiday II - The legend of Raman-dahn

Postby Hugebrew on Mon Oct 24, 2005 5:12 pm

What is Raman-dahn?

Raman-dahn was named for the adornment of ones-self in Raman like noodles ("Accepting the stiff noodle" it is often referred to in ancient text).

Raman-dahn is the eleventeenth month of the Pastafarian calendar. Pastafarians use a noodelic calendar, that is, each month begins with the sacrificial squeezing of a different noodle. Because the noodelic calendar is about 113 days shorter than the solar calendar used elsewhere, Pastafarian Holidays "move" each year. In 2005 Raman-dahn will begin on October. 15th. In 2006 it will begin on Octohber 15th. In 2007, it will begin on Oktobur 15th. (And so on).

For more than a fourty-leven dozen Pastafarians around the world, including some eleventy bazillion in North America alone, Raman-dahn is a "month of blessing" marked by prayer, pasta-fasting, and charity. This year Raman-dahn precedes Chris Mess (http://www.venganza.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=2059) . But while in many places this holiday has become widely commercialized, Raman-dahn retains its focus on self-pasta-sacrifice and total devotion to The FSM.

Why this Month? ... Why not?

Pastafarians believe that during the month of Raman-dahn, the FSM revealed the first verses of the Canon, the holy book of Pastafarians. Around 613 A.D (Al-Dente), a pasta trader named "Heymoe Nyuknyuknyuk" took to wandering the desert near Fraby while thinking about his faith. One night a voice called to him from the night sky. It was the "Angel of Garlic", who told Heymoe he had been chosen to receive the word of the FSM and be personally touched by the noodly apendage. In the days that followed, Heymoe found himself speaking the verses that would be transcribed as the Canon, and touching the noodly apendage without fear of blindness. He did eventually go blind in one eye, and adopted the traditional pirate eyepatch we all know and love today.

At many FSM churches during Raman-dahn, about one arty-second of the Canon is recited each night in a ceremony of sung prayers and ceiling reconstruction known as tara-roofay. In this way, by the end of the month the complete scripture will have been recited in song, and no rain will fall within the boundaries of the church.

Pastafarians are required each morning of Raman-dahn to face Fraby, stand stiff legged, bend at the hip, bow their head, lift their eyepatch and repeat the word "ARGH" slowly three times, as intensely as possible. No one has any idea why they must do this, but they absolutely must. Bending over and standing stiff legged is a “Pastafarian mustâ€￾ if you are going to properly accept the Canon.

Pasta-Fasting

Pastafarians practice "swiim", which can either mean the ritual soaking of the noodle or in this case, pasta-fasting, for the entire month of Raman-dahn. This means that they may eat or drink nothing pasta related, while the sun shines (Unless they stick the pasta where the sun doesn't shine [Not recommended or officially sanctioned by the Church]). Pasta-Fasting is one of the Five Plates (duties) of Pastafarianism. As with other Pastafarian duties, all able Pastafarians take part in swiim from about age twelve. You will often hear Pastafarians say, "I need to get my noodle soaked".

The other 4 “Platesâ€￾ of Pastafarianism are:

1. The annual colonation of navel lint.
2. Semi-austronomous plank lacquering.
3. Ritualistic noodelic combing.
4. Piratic decortishing and accenting.

No one has to explain how important the 5 Plates are to the emotional and physical well being of all fellow Pastafarians. As is said often in Pastafarian circles: “If you fill your plates with pasta, all will be wellâ€￾.

During Raman-dahn in the Pastafarian world, most pasta serving restaurants are closed during the daylight hours. Families get up early for sum-moor, a heavy non-pasta meal eaten before the sun rises (Where the term, "I want some more" came from).

After the sun sets, the pasta fast is broken with a pasta meal known as Stiftar. Stiftar usually begins with Raman Noodles and sweet drinks that provide a quick energy boost. The name Stiftar was chosen because Raman Noodles are often stiff until doused with water and allowed to soak. (Again, more important and historical reference to "soaking the noodle").

Pasta-Fasting serves many purposes. While they are hungry for pasta , Pastafarians are reminded of the suffering of the poor "outerskin of yeast" harvesters of Fraby. Pasta-Fasting is also an opportunity to practice self-control, resist the "temptation of the oregano", and to cleanse the body and mind. And in this most sacred month, pasta-fasting helps Pastafarians feel the peace that comes from spiritual devotion as well as kinship with fellow Pastafarian believers.

Ed da-Fartr

Raman-dahn ends with the festival of Ed da-Fartr, which in 2005 occurs on November 34th. Literally the "Festival of Breaking Wind and the end of the Pasta-Fast". Ed da-Fartr is one of the two most important Pastafarian celebrations (the other occurs after the Hagg, or semi-annual [Every 3-4 years, on only odd years, beginning after “the 7th year of the spiceâ€￾] pilgrimage to Fraby [This is where the term "Haggared" came from...when people are tired after they take a long journey in the desert...as in "Dude (The non-gender specific application of the term"dude"), you look haggared"]).

At Ed da-Fartr people dress in their finest disposable clothing, adorn their homes with tiki-style torch lights and edible decorations, give treats to children with parental supervision, fart aloud constantly, and enjoy brief (2 to 4 seconds each) visits with friends and family. The bitter smelling air reminds all Pastafarians of the long and bitter journey Heymoe took in the Fraby desert accepting the Canon and touching the appendage.

A sense of generosity and gratitude colors these festivities. Although charity and good deeds are always important in Pastafarianism, they have special significance at the end of Raman-dahn. As the month draws to a close, Pastafarians are obligated to share their blessings by feeding uncooked and unsoaked pasta to the poor, faux-slapping at least one rich person at the back of the head (While others watch in amusement), the ritual exchanging of the eyepatch, and making significant fluid contributions to FSM churches.

When asked how one’s life is progressing during the month of Raman-dahn, the truly faithful Pastafarian will reply, “I’m Saucy, Thank youâ€￾.
Hugebrew
Ziti Zealot
 
Posts: 23
Joined: Fri Oct 21, 2005 9:51 am

Postby teripie on Mon Oct 24, 2005 5:38 pm

Another treasure explaining our wonderful heritage. These stories of the holy daze should be part of the canon. I think Heymoe is my favorite of the characters.
Well done! (When I first typed "done" just now, I made a typo and typed "Well dine." Hmmmm.
-----(\ /)------
-----(o.o)-----
----(> <)-----
This is Bunny.
Bunny, as cute and cuddley as he may appear, is bent on world domination.
To achieve this he has decided to start by taking over teh intarweb, a step towards his ultimate goal.
To help him complete his quest and therefore ensure bunny domination, copy and paste him into your sig
User avatar
teripie
Birthday Scribe
 
Posts: 1377
Joined: Wed Oct 05, 2005 12:06 am
Location: Lost

Postby Rasti on Mon Oct 24, 2005 8:28 pm

Well thought out, but sadly, wrong forum. you should ask one of the 'Pastas-that-Be' to cut and paste this thread under the Loose Cannon forum
'We must Dissent', for the noodles ;)
A Validus Noodle , Pro valde Pax
User avatar
Rasti
Farfalle First Mate
 
Posts: 524
Joined: Sun Sep 11, 2005 11:51 am
Location: Florida: Manipulating Hurricanes in his Noodley Name ;)

Postby Hugebrew on Mon Oct 24, 2005 8:57 pm

Rasti wrote:Well thought out, but sadly, wrong forum. you should ask one of the 'Pastas-that-Be' to cut and paste this thread under the Loose Cannon forum


Is this not one of all things FSM?

BTW: I'm Saucy...thank you.
Hugebrew
Ziti Zealot
 
Posts: 23
Joined: Fri Oct 21, 2005 9:51 am

How about a holiday forum?

Postby Hugebrew on Tue Oct 25, 2005 10:40 pm

Maybe it is time for a new one. The holiday forum.

We need a story for:

1. Pasta-Shonna

2. Donald RUMsfeld's birthday (Any birthday with Rum in it...Pirates LOVE RUM...)

3. Yeaster

4. Planksgiving

5. Pasta-Pride day

6. Meatball Luther-King's birthday (The Pirate Snivel Rights leader...not an actual holiday...but we can take the day off)

7. St. Party's day

8. The return of the ARG-o-naughts...

I am sure there are many many more...
"I'm Saucy...Thank you".
Hugebrew
Ziti Zealot
 
Posts: 23
Joined: Fri Oct 21, 2005 9:51 am

Postby kaioshin00 on Wed Oct 26, 2005 6:03 am

and dont forget TLAP day
:shellfish: :shellfish: March of the crabbies :shellfish: :shellfish:
User avatar
kaioshin00
Agnolini Admiral
 
Posts: 772
Joined: Sun Sep 18, 2005 3:01 am
Location: Naples, FL

Postby wokka on Wed Oct 26, 2005 7:40 am

If you PM me with all your holiday dates, I will happily make a calendar.
I am a Beliver!

The Diocese Of Yorkshire:
http://www.yfsm.tk/
User avatar
wokka
Fusilli Fuselier
 
Posts: 143
Joined: Tue Oct 11, 2005 12:44 pm
Location: UK

Postby bet1 on Fri Oct 28, 2005 5:00 am

Yarr there be yet another ripping yarn yarr! 8)
WWFSMD?
I know, he'd make more Pastafarians!
User avatar
bet1
Ziti Zealot
 
Posts: 21
Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2005 2:29 pm
Location: Shipley, West Yorks, England

Postby wokka on Fri Oct 28, 2005 9:45 am

Yarhh!
I am a Beliver!

The Diocese Of Yorkshire:
http://www.yfsm.tk/
User avatar
wokka
Fusilli Fuselier
 
Posts: 143
Joined: Tue Oct 11, 2005 12:44 pm
Location: UK

Postby wokka on Fri Oct 28, 2005 9:49 am

though im serious about the calendar thing, it may be the job of a scribe, but as a loyal pastafarian id love to help.
I am a Beliver!

The Diocese Of Yorkshire:
http://www.yfsm.tk/
User avatar
wokka
Fusilli Fuselier
 
Posts: 143
Joined: Tue Oct 11, 2005 12:44 pm
Location: UK

Postby Hugebrew on Sun Oct 30, 2005 3:33 pm

I do not have dates for them...they have yet to be historically revealed.
"I'm Saucy...Thank you".
Hugebrew
Ziti Zealot
 
Posts: 23
Joined: Fri Oct 21, 2005 9:51 am

Postby Solipsy on Sat Nov 12, 2005 3:45 pm

Caught it. Loved it. Marking it. Moving it. Locking it. Will work with it when time permits. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
This space for rent,
Solipsy

"The Go-To Scribe for all Texts Canonical"
User avatar
Solipsy
Holy Scribe
 
Posts: 577
Joined: Thu Sep 15, 2005 2:52 am
Location: Bent over ancient stone tablets and scrolls


Return to Scripture and Lore

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests