Here are the fundamental beliefs held by the Gnoccic branch of the Church of the FSM:
The Gnoccics hold the following special knowledge to be sacred:
- FSM's noodly essence in the material world is potato-based. Midgit [sic] is the Holy Potato Farmer and as the Chosen spud-grower is to given special reverence (known in some circles as the Cult of the Midgit)
- The orthodox Church of the FSM has suppressed the Sacred Potato because it believes the Divine can only be experienced through the church and not directly by man (or woman).
- The Holy Stripper Factory and Beer Volcano are not only aspects of Pastafarian heaven, but rather can and should be experienced on Earth - specifically in Las Vegas (any old time!) and in Munich (only during the Holy Celebration of Pastoberfest).
This special knowledge has been confirmed by the 1945 discovery of the Bible of Arrrgh Hammurabi, discovered by Captain Bluebeard in a sunken treasure chest off the coast of (where else?) Jamaica.
All hail His Holy - POTATO-BASED - noodliness.