The Gnoccic Gospels

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The Gnoccic Gospels

Postby The_Gnoccic_Heresy on Tue Sep 27, 2005 10:12 am

Here are the fundamental beliefs held by the Gnoccic branch of the Church of the FSM:

The Gnoccics hold the following special knowledge to be sacred:
- FSM's noodly essence in the material world is potato-based. Midgit [sic] is the Holy Potato Farmer and as the Chosen spud-grower is to given special reverence (known in some circles as the Cult of the Midgit)

- The orthodox Church of the FSM has suppressed the Sacred Potato because it believes the Divine can only be experienced through the church and not directly by man (or woman).

- The Holy Stripper Factory and Beer Volcano are not only aspects of Pastafarian heaven, but rather can and should be experienced on Earth - specifically in Las Vegas (any old time!) and in Munich (only during the Holy Celebration of Pastoberfest).

This special knowledge has been confirmed by the 1945 discovery of the Bible of Arrrgh Hammurabi, discovered by Captain Bluebeard in a sunken treasure chest off the coast of (where else?) Jamaica.

:worship: :fsm_worried:
All hail His Holy - POTATO-BASED - noodliness.
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Postby Solipsy on Thu Nov 17, 2005 10:55 pm

And so it came to pass that the copying and the pasting of the posting of the writing, as it did appear thus far in this thread, was done. And the FSM looked down, and His Great Noodly Appendages did quiver with saucy delight. And he did proclaimeth: "Cool. So Far, So Good." Thus spake Our Lord in Marinara.

It was proclaimed throughout that Boards of His Holy Discussion that the Divinely Inspired Writing should not cease, but rather should continue, for to Him, it is most pleasing. And yea, His humble galleyscribe Solipsy did toss and turn upon the seas of the keyboard at all unreasonable hours, and did gather the writings of the inspired, and did organize them and nit-pick them, but not without permission, and did seek to credit them, and will be in touch with the writers of them if any questions ariseth, and doth encourage said writers for to do the same.

Thus did the proclamation end.
This space for rent,
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