Loose Canon - Pirate Speak Submissions

[Platypus Enthusiast]

So I was going thru all the texts to be in the Loose Canon and I realized that there are no texts written entirely in the holy tongue of the pirate. I was never much good with pirate speak (or good at creative writing for that matter), but I figure at least one text should be written in it, whether its a gospel, history, prophetic book, or whatever. So if any pirates want to give it a shot, go for it. Arrr.

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

Oi shall dictate ta ye the first paragraph o' The Holy Noodle:

The Firs' Daye; Light
Then the FSM sed, "Let tharr be light, me scallywag!" and tharr was light. And the FSM adjustid 'is willoey oistalks an' sore that the light were good; an' the FSM di-voi-ded the light from the darkeness. He cawled the light Daye, an' the darkeness He cawled Night oar "Prime Time." So the evenin' an' the mornin' warr the first daye.