An old thread about commandments, needs merged with current

Submit your scriptural writings for inclusion in the Loose Canon, and your tales of ancient FSM Lore, as well as any other FSM-related writing you may have.

Moderator: All Things Mods

Postby satyriasis on Fri Sep 23, 2005 11:18 am

Thanks Nudelus:)
"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was 'ARRRRGH!'" - PIRATICUS 13:7
User avatar
satyriasis
Ziti Zealot
 
Posts: 23
Joined: Thu Sep 22, 2005 12:16 pm
Location: Alta, Norway

Postby Nudelius on Fri Sep 23, 2005 11:44 am

Convernoodle works better for me since the Swedish equivelant would be konvernudla. Fancy workds like FSMiniation just wouldn't fly here. *smile* But.. I guess that's a tab bit what the FSM is alla about. The improv, the freshness and the feelig of being a part of something new and exciting.

Satyriasis: Let us know what happens....
((sat·y·ri·a·sis) (sat²[ibreve]-ri¢[schwa]-sis) [Gr. satyros satyr + -iasis] abnormal, excessive, insatiable sexual desire in the male. Cf. nymphomania.) This is pretty funny since I used the same nick a few years ago.. he he
//Nudelius
May his Holy Nudlemonster touch thee with his noodly appendage

Cogito, ergo pasta

FSM Wexio, Sweden http://www.fsmvaxjo.se (Enlish version availible)
User avatar
Nudelius
Fusilli Fuselier
 
Posts: 186
Joined: Tue Sep 20, 2005 3:43 pm
Location: Sweden, Kronoberg, Växjö

Postby MusMusculus on Sun Sep 25, 2005 8:39 pm

Dr. Otis Lansa wrote:Taichi, hope you mean "Other gods may have DELEGATED Authority under FSM". For he is the Big Noodle up there.

The Doc


Arrr! That'd better be right. I be not bowin t' another god!
User avatar
MusMusculus
Bucatini Buccanneer
 
Posts: 220
Joined: Sat Sep 17, 2005 12:02 pm
Location: Afghanistan, no wait ... Wisconsin

Postby YoureMyHiro on Wed Sep 28, 2005 1:35 pm

While recently converting to the church of FSM I came to the conclusion that I do not have enough pirate power but with the strength of these commandments in mind I can find sanctuary.
Image
YoureMyHiro
Conchigliette Convert
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2005 1:31 pm
Location: San Jose, Ca

Postby Ermintrude on Wed Sep 28, 2005 4:46 pm

What about the zeroth command "You shall not be bound by the 11 comandment as his noodlyness could get saucy and change them all with his noodly appendage"

Stalking for 89%
User avatar
Ermintrude
Maccheroncelli Missionary
 
Posts: 41
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2005 10:37 am
Location: London

Postby Tidepooler on Wed Sep 28, 2005 6:51 pm

I think one commandment that is a necessity, is that never, under any circumstances should one take a sleeping pill and a laxative together on the same night.
Tidepooler
Ziti Zealot
 
Posts: 24
Joined: Sat Sep 24, 2005 6:11 pm

Postby Ermintrude on Wed Sep 28, 2005 7:11 pm

Remember intelligent design!
And so the :worship: FSM looked down on the state of the bed sheets :fsm_worried: and said “LET THERE BE PAMPERS (Or any other sort of market equivalent product - just in case the lawyers are watching, ehh Bobby :mrgreen: )

895, 89%, 89% -- You know what I'm on about :shock:
User avatar
Ermintrude
Maccheroncelli Missionary
 
Posts: 41
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2005 10:37 am
Location: London

Postby The Virgin Olive Oil on Thu Sep 29, 2005 9:28 am

Argh- someone beat me to it!

We have been working on our version as well.

I serve up to you our draft ( beer??)

1. "Thou shalt always serve salad before me."
2. "Thou shalt not make unto thee any gravy sauces,"

3. "Thou shalt not take the name of the FSM in vain;"
4. "Remember the dinner hour, to keep it holy."
5. "Honor thy father and thy mother's recipes:"
6. "Thou shalt not kill the sauce with too much garlic."
7. "Thou shalt not commit adultery unless you make enough for all "
8. "Thou shalt not steal your neighbors colanders or tomatoes ."
9. "Thou shalt not lie and claim canned is homemade."
10. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, nor anything that is thy neighbor's even if their cooking is better."


We need suggestoins to incorporate the priates. Suggestions welcome.

May Pizza be with you, Ramen,

Olive
Give us this day our daily garlic bread,
and deliver us from antipasta
Ramen
User avatar
The Virgin Olive Oil
Conchigliette Convert
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2005 4:11 pm
Location: Central Florida

Postby TheOne on Fri Oct 14, 2005 6:11 pm

I am in agreeance with commandment 9. I believe sex is one of the ways to knowing wether or not she is worthing of joining you in the noodley gates above.

Arrr
- TheOne
TheOne
Conchigliette Convert
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2005 5:57 pm
Location: Whitehorse, Yukon. Canada

Postby fusiontortellini on Fri Oct 14, 2005 6:17 pm

I am in STRONG disagreement with commandment 5 -- "Honor thy father's and thy mother's recipes."
My father's favorite recipe involves Hormel Chili and a microwave. Which means everybody around him needs to take cover a few hours later.
My mother's cooking -- well, let's just say I'm the only one I know who LOVED college food.

And I think commandment 3 should be "Thou shalt not take the FSM's sacraments in vein."
Who really might actually be back this time . . .

May the Fiori be with you. And may It have Meatballs.
User avatar
fusiontortellini
Agnolini Admiral
 
Posts: 882
Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2005 7:16 pm
Location: Boston, MA

Postby Nero S. on Fri Oct 14, 2005 6:26 pm

fusiontortellini wrote:
And I think commandment 3 should be "Thou shalt not take the FSM's sacraments in vein."


Right. Or in the arteries for that matter.
Nero S.
Gnocchetti Galley Slave
 
Posts: 52
Joined: Mon Oct 03, 2005 2:39 pm

Postby mrfrence on Wed Oct 26, 2005 9:31 am

fusiontortellini wrote:I am in STRONG disagreement with commandment 5 -- "Honor thy father's and thy mother's recipes."
My father's favorite recipe involves Hormel Chili and a microwave. Which means everybody around him needs to take cover a few hours later.
My mother's cooking -- well, let's just say I'm the only one I know who LOVED college food.

And I think commandment 3 should be "Thou shalt not take the FSM's sacraments in vein."


hahahaha. on a related note, are things made with pasta good or are they considered "tainting the holy food?"
User avatar
mrfrence
Fusilli Fuselier
 
Posts: 179
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2005 9:28 pm
Location: my house... in the middle of the street

Postby Solipsy on Fri Oct 28, 2005 3:55 am

Holy (Pain in the Butt) Scribe Solipsy checking in on this thread. Locking it off, moving the bulk of it down to proposed scriptures, to be merged with the NOT COMMANDMENTS, SUGGESTIONS thread.

Thanks for the suggestions collected here. If any are near and dear to your heart, please check out what we've already got as adjudicated Canon in that thread, and since we are not going to have a set number, well take all into possible consideration for inclusion.

~s/s~
This space for rent,
Solipsy

"The Go-To Scribe for all Texts Canonical"
User avatar
Solipsy
Holy Scribe
 
Posts: 577
Joined: Thu Sep 15, 2005 2:52 am
Location: Bent over ancient stone tablets and scrolls

Postby Ieuan on Fri Oct 28, 2005 8:15 am

Ahoy Maties!!

As a recent convert to the church of the FSM I have a question that must be answered so I do not err; but I will Arrrr.

When preparing His Noodliness may I throw an appendage against the wall to see if it sticks or is this sacrilege?
User avatar
Ieuan
Conchigliette Convert
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Oct 28, 2005 7:30 am
Location: Oregon

Previous

Return to Scripture and Lore

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests