An old thread about commandments, needs merged with current

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An old thread about commandments, needs merged with current

Postby satyriasis on Thu Sep 22, 2005 6:35 pm

All religions with respect for themself need commandments. So me and a good friend of mine sat down and found some so here they are, and if they are gonna be used, they have to be accepted

The 11 commandments

1.What others dont know wont hurt them
2.You shall share the pasta with your fellows
3.You shall rest on the holyday
4.You shall look forward to life in Heaven
5.You shall allways eat up your spaghetti
6.You shall allways say hello to FSMs third creation, the midget
7.You shall allways have the makings of tomatosauce avalable in the house
8.You shall have sex before the marrige, so you can better determine if he/she is any good, and to also be able to better serve the strippers in the afterlife (What's the point in finding out he/she's lousy after you sign the deed?)
9.To Arrr is human, do it
10.You shall allways keep your change till the end of the year
11. You shall not kill humanbeeings
"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was 'ARRRRGH!'" - PIRATICUS 13:7
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Postby Dr. Otis Lansa on Thu Sep 22, 2005 7:20 pm

I take exception to #2, because I'd have to choose between the FSM and myself. And since I'm pretty sure I exist, that's blasphemy against the Noodly One. Also, there are people of many faiths here. It's my 2c that other gods may hold DELEGATED authority from the FSM.

I support saucious diversity, so also take exception to #7. Drop the tomato and mod it to 'the makings of sauce'.

How about putting in "You shall share the pasta with your fellows" or some such? We should all cook for each other to spread the Holy Meal, even to the unbelievers.

The hardcore pirates might want to interpret #9 as "To Arrrr is human, do it" :fsm_yarr:

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Postby Instant Noodles on Thu Sep 22, 2005 8:09 pm

Ill second amending 2, It is said that Fsm encourages Polythiesm, so those who dont want to just drop their liflong relegion can still join us.

thou shalt not judge upon noodle prefrences.

Pirate code standards!
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Postby Occam on Fri Sep 23, 2005 4:51 am

I like the idea of a commandment that says "Thou shallt not kill" in any language that its translated into.

That way, murderous barbarians cant rewrite it "Thou shallt not murder on purpose with malice aforethought presented in writing, notarised" which makes napalm not so much acceptable but religiously mandatory.
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Postby Taichi on Fri Sep 23, 2005 5:22 am

Hope you don't mind, I revised the list, and added some of your suggestions:

1.What others dont know wont hurt them, Be Nice to them anyway (Covers the killing and stealing part)
2.Other gods may have DELEGATED Authority over FSM (We love his noodly visage, but do not hold him as the only deity)
3.You shall rest on the holyday (Resting rocks)
4.You shall Endeavor to relax, to prepare for a relaxed life in Heaven (I ain't shoveling horse dung in the afterlife, screw that)
5.You shall always eat up your spaghetti (it's just good manners)
6.You shall always say hello to FSMs third creation, the midget (They were created for our enjoyment, by his noodly majesty)
7.You shall allways have the makings of tomatosauce avalable in the house (Guests need sauce too!)
8.You shall have sex before the marrige, so you can better determine if she is any good, and to also be able to better serve the strippers in the afterlife (What's the point in finding out she's lousy after you sign the deed?)
9.To err/arr is human, do it (Yup)
10.You shall allways keep your change till the end of the year, or for Cargo Pants Day, whichever comes first (Comedy is gold, and a source for damn good advice!)
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Postby Sylvie369 on Fri Sep 23, 2005 7:04 am

We have two rather interesting versions of the 8th Commandment:

satyriasis wrote:8.You shall have sex before the marrige, so you can please your wife on the husband/wife night.



Taichi wrote:8.You shall have sex before the marrige, so you can better determine if she is any good, and to also be able to better serve the strippers in the afterlife (What's the point in finding out she's lousy after you sign the deed?)


One says that the point is to "please your wife", the other says that the point is "to find out if she is any good". I think it's pretty obvious that we're missing quite a bit here in terms of equity: both partners need to be pleased, not just the wife, and, well, shouldn't we be wondering if the husband is any good as well?

More importantly, that "is she any good?" question misses the fact that you become good by, well, by doing it, and paying attention to how it goes.

I move that we reword it somehow to indicate the need to please both partners, and that we make part of the point to become good at doing so.

It also occurs to me that we might have bumper stickers to counter those inane "Marriage = 1 Man + 1 Woman" things the fundies have. They might read something like "Marriage = 2 Committed Partners".
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Postby DaveL on Fri Sep 23, 2005 7:13 am

Is the tomato sauce permitted for cooking pasta only?

Or do you mean for sausages and other meals to be eaten in his greatness's name?

If so can BBQ sauce an acceptable replacement?
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Postby satyriasis on Fri Sep 23, 2005 7:48 am

DaveL wrote:Is the tomato sauce permitted for cooking pasta only?

Or do you mean for sausages and other meals to be eaten in his greatness's name?

If so can BBQ sauce an acceptable replacement?


The tomato sauce is not only for cooking, as long as it got tomatoes and can give this delicious taste made to us by His Noodly Holyness on other meals that pasta, its ok:)
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Postby satyriasis on Fri Sep 23, 2005 7:49 am

Sylvie369 wrote:It also occurs to me that we might have bumper stickers to counter those inane "Marriage = 1 Man + 1 Woman" things the fundies have. They might read something like "Marriage = 2 Committed Partners".


I was tired last night, was a typo:) I made it good again:)
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Postby Nudelius on Fri Sep 23, 2005 8:18 am

So.. Curious Nudelius here...

I've been neck deep in FSM and all the tomatosauce I can handle during the last few weeks. What I would like to know is who actually decides once a scirpture, commandment, proverb, etc is official. I love this brainstomring stuff amongst us pastafari but somewhere along the line I just feel like I would like to have something official. Like the commandments.

I am trying to convernoodle all the people I can in Sweden but I wouldn't want to spread false wisdom.

"You say tomatoe, I say tomato
You say president, I say stupid psychotic git"
//Nudelius
May his Holy Nudlemonster touch thee with his noodly appendage

Cogito, ergo pasta

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Postby satyriasis on Fri Sep 23, 2005 8:54 am

In the end of this month or maybe starting of next month pastafarism will be a registered religion in Norway.:)
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Postby Sylvie369 on Fri Sep 23, 2005 9:13 am

satyriasis wrote:I was tired last night, was a typo:) I made it good again:)


That's a good start, but the "find out if he/she is any good" part still suggests that the ability to please one's partner sexually is immutable. I don't know how to reword it properly, but it should say something instead about being sure to have sex before marriage in order to make sure that both partners have had adequate practice and training to be good enough at it to be worthy of marriage.

Remember, ability to please is learned. That's part of why there is a stripper factory and not a virgin factory up in heaven.
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Postby Nudelius on Fri Sep 23, 2005 10:44 am

Satyriasis... Your borthers and sisters of Sweden salute thee.

May your convernoodeling go well and may all of you frolic in pasta and beer in wild celebration.

//Nudelius
//Nudelius
May his Holy Nudlemonster touch thee with his noodly appendage

Cogito, ergo pasta

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Postby Dr. Otis Lansa on Fri Sep 23, 2005 11:17 am

Hmm... convernoodling, I like the noodle aspect of that. I would have called the process "FSMination". Because it only really works on fertile minds.

Taichi, hope you mean "Other gods may have DELEGATED Authority under FSM". For he is the Big Noodle up there.

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Postby satyriasis on Fri Sep 23, 2005 11:18 am

Thanks Nudelus:)
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