Advent Of The Flying Spaghetti Monster
In the Beginning, way back, before the creation of the first Midgit in Full Pirate Regalia, there was the Primordial Soup, and this was existence. And for a time did the Soup sit there, and slowly did it fester, and from the Soup grew the Primordial Noodles. And for a time did the Noodles sit there, and slowly did they fester, and from the Noodles grew the Meatballs and Marinara Sauce, and it became the Primordial Spaghetti. And lo, our Lord flew forth from where he had been hanging around all this Time, and he said unto the universe in general 'Yea, alrighty then, I quite liketh this form, and shall take it to be My Own'. And so He came unto the universe as the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Our Lord Discovers The Primordial Spaghetti To Be A Lonely Place Indeed (possibly, In The Primordial Spaghetti, No One Can Hear You Sing)
And He sang His joys unto all existence, proclaiming 'Verily! Is my form not pleasing unto thou all?' But only silence greeted He Who Is High In Starch And Protein, for there was nothing yet around but Him and the Primordial Spaghetti, and half of that was gone unto His Form. So, in thinking 'Buggerations' to this predicament, Our Lord And Pasta chose to create the world, and people in it who could praise His Noodly Might.
Our Lord Creates The Mountain, Trees And Midget
So He made first a mountain, and it was The Mountain. And then He made some trees, and they were The Trees. And then He made as the first man a Midget in Full Pirate Regalia, saying 'One day, foolish people will try to teach what is clearly religion in the Classes of Science, but I shall reveal My Work to the chosen, and they shall call themselves Pastarafians, and shall use this blatantly silly concept to mock these religious radicals.' And Our Sauciness nodded in appreciation of His own wisdom and forward thinking.
The First Days Of The Midget Are Joyous
Then the Midget looked upon His Creator, and said 'Yes, that is a most tasty vision', and there was much rejoicing. And they both danced for thirty-seven days and thirty-six nights, and rested on the thirty-seventh night, for the Midget was just a tad tired. Upon waking, he was to discover that Our Parmesan-Topped Creator had created more like him, and for many years did they live upon The Mountain, and their tales are recounted by the most holy Dave L.