Limericks

Songs of the FSM. Praise, Adoration and Pirate Sea Chanteys. Express your musical and/or poetic talent.

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Limericks

Postby fractal on Sat Jun 30, 2007 7:42 pm

Post yer Limericks 'ere.


    Beware the pirate named Dread
    Whose shipmates thought him dead,
    His neck was the cost
    Of a battle he lost,
    Now he relies on a prosthetic head.
Spread The Weird >> Stack The Midgets | Whack A Pope
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Postby The Good Reverend Roger on Sun Jul 01, 2007 1:34 am

There once was a lady from Sleight
Who travelled at the speed of light
She departed on day
In a relative way
And arrived the previous night.

Oh, and:

There once was a man on the moon
Who with the aid of the juice of the prune,
A flexible trowel
And two badly stained towels
Created his very own Dune.

(Apologies to Frank Herbert.)
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Or kill me.
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Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard on Sat Jul 28, 2007 11:07 pm

As every good pirate should know
The secret to making it snow
Is to do things piratical
In a manner fanatical
And eat pasta until you explode
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

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Postby EarthRise on Sat Jul 28, 2007 11:41 pm

Rowan Redbeard wrote:As every good pirate should know
The secret to making it snow
Is to do things piratical
In a manner fanatical
And eat pasta until you explode


RAmen to that one.

A pasta with grand intention
Procured a fantastic invention.
But drinking too deep,
He fell in His sleep,
And created another dimension.

And my personal fave:

There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who took to the sea in a bucket.
With a crack and a creak,
The side sprang a leak.
The man from Nantucket said 'Well, Damn.'
[...] the difficulty of believing that a perfect and complex eye could be formed by natural selection, though insuperable by our imagination, should not be considered as subversive of the theory.
-Darwin
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Postby Dan(da haole guy) on Sun Jul 29, 2007 12:13 am

Aloha..Nantucket appears to be a breeding ground for limericks..& it's not even in Eire!


A wench wot lived in Nantucket
Wen go to da beach wid a bucket
Sez she, "I feel odd..
on da sands uv Cape Cod-
so I'm off to Thailand & Phuket..

(V2.0..original on Pirate Discussion thread..)
KAULANA NA PUA A'O FSM..HANO HANO..FSM NO KA OI..
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Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard on Sun Jul 29, 2007 3:09 am

I already stuck this one in a post today, but I figure it is worthy of being posted here as well.


While creating things both far and near,
The FSM had a bit too much beer,
Which caused blurring of plans
And some oddly made glands
(Though He perfected genus buccaneer).
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

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Postby fractal on Tue Jul 31, 2007 5:54 am

I be here drinkin me ale
When me face gone become pale
After some staggerin'
and over board laggerin'
I woke up in the belly of a whale.
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Postby agent_SNAFU on Tue Jul 31, 2007 1:34 pm

EarthRise wrote:
Rowan Redbeard wrote:As every good pirate should know
The secret to making it snow
Is to do things piratical
In a manner fanatical
And eat pasta until you explode


RAmen to that one.

A pasta with grand intention
Procured a fantastic invention.
But drinking too deep,
He fell in His sleep,
And created another dimension.

And my personal fave:

There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who took to the sea in a bucket.
With a crack and a creak,
The side sprang a leak.
The man from Nantucket said 'Well, Damn.'


Both very fine limericks. I'm not nearly skilled enough to come up with one.
Occam wrote:Our captains are like priests. Whereas a priest shephards their flock, a captain yells "Set sail for yonder!" and hits you until the ship starts going the right way. Same thing near enough.


I'll get an avatar eventually...
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Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard on Tue Jul 31, 2007 9:34 pm

The secret lies in coming up with either a last line or the two shorter lines. Once you have those, you will need to putz around quite a bit. Often, you will find that you need to change rhymes. Once you do so, some lines will change, possibly even the ones you used to start in the first place. The trick is not becoming so attached to a part of it that you can't change it.
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

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Postby PantyGnawer on Tue Jul 31, 2007 10:47 pm

There once was a crevo named Hovind
From monkeys he didn’t descend
He got a bogus degree
From Patriot University
But the tax man got him in the end.
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Postby black bart on Thu Aug 02, 2007 6:34 am

Dan(da haole guy) wrote:Aloha..Nantucket appears to be a breeding ground for limericks..& it's not even in Eire!


A wench wot lived in Nantucket
Wen go to da beach wid a bucket
Sez she, "I feel odd..
on da sands uv Cape Cod-
so I'm off to Thailand & Phuket..

(V2.0..original on Pirate Discussion thread..)


That's a great one...I feel inspired by it and Nantucket (thinks bucket, duckett...Oh F*****!
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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Postby Dan(da haole guy) on Sat Aug 04, 2007 1:51 am

Aloha..fulla plate lunch 'n' rum today..lessee wot burps up.....

A pyratickal novice named Todd
Had a habit..exceedingly odd

Of playing Knuckles O'Shuffle
On top of his duffle

(His mates just stood around...awed)
KAULANA NA PUA A'O FSM..HANO HANO..FSM NO KA OI..
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Postby alex hates haters. on Fri Apr 25, 2008 8:40 am

heck yeah you guys are pretty good.
:fsm_yarr: :fsm_yarr: :fsm_yarr: :fsm_yarr: :fsm_yarr: :fsm_yarr:
I AM THE NINJA.
Just kidding.
PIRATE!!!!!!
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