Pirate Carols

Songs of the FSM. Praise, Adoration and Pirate Sea Chanteys. Express your musical and/or poetic talent.

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Pirate Carols

Postby Spaghetti_Rum on Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:34 pm

With International Talk Like a Pirate Day comin' up, I thought I would post the Pirate Carols that me and my friends sing every year. We go door-to-door every September 19th, and are well received anytime we sing these hearty songs!

(all songs written by me, with the exception of Tortuga, written by a friend of mine and reprinted with permission)

Swab the Deck!

Deck the Halls

Swab the Deck ya Scurvy Sea Dog!
Ho-Yo-Ho-Yo-Ho, Yo-Ho-Yo-Ho
Drink ye down a bottle o’ grog
Ho-Yo-Ho-Yo-Ho, Yo-Ho-Yo-Ho
Strap a gun to your apparel
Ho-Yo-Ho-Yo-Ho, Yo-Ho-Yo-Ho
Troll the anchor and we set sail!
Ho-Yo-Ho-Yo-Ho, Yo-Ho-Yo-Ho

See the merchant ship before us.
Ho-Yo-Ho-Yo-Ho, Yo-Ho-Yo-Ho
Set the guns and wait for signal.
Ho-Yo-Ho-Yo-Ho, Yo-Ho-Yo-Ho
Once in Port it’s time for pleasure!
Ho-Yo-Ho-Yo-Ho, Yo-Ho-Yo-Ho
Next we’ll find a bur-ied treasure.
Ho-Yo-Ho-Yo-Ho, Yo-Ho-Yo-Ho

Fast away the tide she passes
Ho-Yo-Ho-Yo-Ho, Yo-Ho-Yo-Ho
Avast starboard ye lads and lasses!
Ho-Yo-Ho-Yo-Ho, Yo-Ho-Yo-Ho
Care to mind the wind and weather.
Ho-Yo-Ho-Yo-Ho, Yo-Ho-Yo-Ho
Off to find a new adventure!
Ho-Yo-Ho-Yo-Ho, Yo-Ho-Yo-Ho

Buccaneers Are Coming!
Santa Claus is Coming to Town

You better watch out
You better go hide
Better run off
I'm telling you why
The Buccaneers are coming to town!

They’re setting their guns
Upon the broadside;
They’ll pillage and plunder you dead or alive
The Buccaneers are coming to town!

They’re coming for your silver
Your beer, wine, and rum too
They’ll steal all of your food and clothes
And then they’ll kidnap you!

O! But you have a chance:
Just take it from me!
Let ‘em know, “It’s a Pirate’s Life for me!”
The Buccaneers are coming to town!
You Buccaneers are coming to town!

Piracy!
Jingle Bells

Swinging ship-to-ship,
With Cutlass ‘twixt my teeth,
Shoot em in the face,
Laugh at their misery!
(HAR HAR HAR!)
Flags of surrender waved,
And then we take delight,
What fun to live a pirate’s life,
We’re drinking well tonight!

Pillaging, plundering,
Terrors of the sea!
You can take their gold and swords
But leave the rum for me! (x2)

Last time I went to sea,
I thought that I’d go straight,
Quit the pirate’s life,
And take a Sailor’s fee.
But the Captain was a jerk;
Pissed me off, I couldn’t think;
So I threw him over board,
And then I took a drink!

Pillaging, plundering,
Terrors of the sea!
You can take their gold and swords
But leave the rum for me! (x2)

And so I stole his ship,
And caused a mutiny;
Some sailors disagreed,
And tried to turn on me!
I thought I was to hang,
When fortune fell my way,
Some pirates then attacked the ship,
And I joined in the fray!

Pillaging, plundering,
Terrors of the sea!
You can take their gold and swords
But leave the rum for me! (x2)

So I went back to sea,
A pirate once again,
Just take a word from me,
And listen well my friend,
You might well go straight,
Not plunder anymore,
But if you do I’ll steal from you,
And knock you to the floor!

Pillaging, plundering,
Terrors of the sea!
You can take their gold and swords
But leave the rum for me! (x2)

We’re the best Buccaneer crew on the sea!

Most Wonderful Time of the Year

We’re the best Buccaneer crew on the sea!
With our ship we are sailing
And everyone drinking a
Bottle of Grog!
We’re the best Buccaneer crew on the sea!

There'll be trade winds for coasting,
Navy for roasting and
Plundering all of their dough!
There’ll be cannons to fire
And Shipmates Conspire
And Wounds to Bestow!

We’re the best Buccaneer crew on the sea!
We’ll pillage and plunder
And try not to blunder
Or get the Scurvy!
We’re the best Buccaneer crew on the sea!

Pirate Ship Docks

Jingle Bell Rock

Pirate Ship, Pirate Ship, Pirate Ship, Docked
Pirate Ship Crew and Pirate Ship Stew
Looting and Shooting and Barrels of Rum
Now the crew is behind the guns

Pirate Ship, Pirate Ship, Pirate Ship, Docked
Pirate Ship crime in Pirate Ship time
Inciting the Fighting on Navy Ships where
They should Beware!

What a bright time, it's the right time
To rob them blind today
Pirate Ship crime is some swell crime
To take all the booty we may!
Sail Away Pirate Ship, hoist up your sail
Plunder from dock to dock!
Sail far away from the hangman and jail
‘Til the Pirate Ship,
‘Til our Pirate Ship,
‘Til our Pirate Ship docks.

Piracy Rock
Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree

Hoisting our sails, upon the seas
With our sights on other’s gold.
Sailors committing piracy
And it’s never getting old.
Blowing apart, our enemies
With a thirty-two pound shot
Fog comes in and you can’t see
But it’s far too late to stop

You will get a homicidal
feeling when you hear
Captain shouting “Ready grapples,
Board their ship and take their jewels!”
Sailing away, from our prey
To drink the night away
Time to outsail our enemies
With a good, old-fashioned flee!

Booty!
Silent Night

Pil-lag-ing,
Plun-der-ing,
All is loot,
For us to thieve
Steal your sil-ver
Ste-eal your gold
Store it all inside
The ship’s hold
Sur-ren-der the boo-ty-
Sur-ren-der the boo-ty

“Blackbeard”
Rudpolph the Red Nosed Reindeer

You know Morgan and Rackham and Danser and Black Bart.
Bonny and Bonnet and Zheng Sao and Black Sam.

But do you recall?
The most famous Pirate of all?

Blackbeard the Pirate Captain
Had a heart as black as coal
And if you ever saw him
You would think he'd steal your soul

All of the other pirates
Used to tremble with great fear.
Whenever they saw Blackbeard
And his crew were coming near.

And when he sailed upon the seas
Men would come to say:
“It’s Edward Teach that we should fear
He will grant no quarter here.”

Then all the seas would fear him
As he cried with maddened glee:
Blackbeard the Pirate Captain,
You'll go down in history!

Tortuga
O little town of Bethlehem

O little town of Tortuga
How drunk we are tonight
We are in need of blessed sleep
But there's no inn in sight
Yet in your dismal alleys
We see a den of sin
The question asked by all the lads
Is "Which port shall we put in?"

Boarded!
We Wish You a Merry Christmas

We have boarded your ship
We have boarded your ship
We have boarded your ship
And taken your crew!
You’re at our mercy
To do as we will;
Surrender your booty
And we may spare you!

We want your rum and riches
We want your rum and riches
We want your rum and riches
From down in your hold!
You’re at our mercy
To do as we will;
Surrender your booty
And we may spare you!

We won't go until we get drunk
We won't go until we get drunk
We won't go until we get drunk
So bring it out here!
You’re at our mercy
To do as we will;
Surrender your booty
And we may spare you!

We have boarded your ship
We have boarded your ship
We have boarded your ship
And taken your crew!
You’re at our mercy
To do as we will;
Surrender your booty
And we may spare you!
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Re: Pirate Carols

Postby Hippie Pirate on Thu Sep 03, 2009 11:19 pm

Those are amazing. Congratulations, you win.
Reducing global warming since 1989.

Rev Points at the moment = 4
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Re: Pirate Carols

Postby Ubi Dubius on Fri Sep 04, 2009 5:03 am

Those maike me want ta go oot an bye a Toke Loike a Pyrate Day Tree.
Davros, Attorney and Pieces of Law
Keeping up appearances is a very important activity in religion; in fact, maintaining tattered illusions is its main activity. - Richard Wade, on Friendlyatheist.com
We make an idol of our fear and call it God. -Ingmar Bergman, The Seventh Seal
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Re: Pirate Carols

Postby Tigger_the_Wing on Fri Dec 16, 2011 5:02 pm

Here's some more, not as good as Spaghetti_Rum's, but I hope you'll like them anyway!


I saw three ships
I saw three ships
I saw three ships come sailing in
On Monkey’s Day, on Monkey’s Day;
I saw three ships come sailing in
On Monkey’s Day in the morning.

And what was in those ships all three,
On Monkey’s Day, on Monkey’s Day?
And what was in those ships all three,
On Monkey’s Day in the morning?

The FSM and pirates were there,
On Monkey’s Day, on Monkey’s Day;
The FSM and pirates were there,
On Monkey’s Day in the morning.

Pray, wither sailed those ships all three,
On Monkey’s Day, on Monkey’s Day;
Pray, wither sailed those ships all three,
On Monkey’s Day in the morning?

O they sailéd into Portsmouth Bay,
On Monkey’s Day, on Monkey’s Day;
O they sailéd into Portsmouth Bay,
On Monkey’s Day in the morning.

And all the bells on earth shall ring,
On Monkey’s Day, on Monkey’s Day;
And all the bells on earth shall ring,
On Monkey’s Day in the morning.

And all the Strippers in Heaven shall sing,
On Monkey’s Day, on Monkey’s Day;
And all the Strippers in Heaven shall sing,
On Monkey’s Day in the morning.

And all the Midgits on earth shall sing,
On Monkey’s Day, on Monkey’s Day;
And all the Midgits on earth shall sing,
On Monkey’s Day in the morning.

Then let us all rejoice again,
On Monkey’s Day, on Monkey’s Day;
Then let us all rejoice again,
On Monkey’s Day in the morning.


Strippers from the great factory
Angels from the realms of glory

Strippers from the great Factory,
Wing your dance o'er all the earth;
Ye who sang creation's story,
Now proclaim FSM’s birth:
Come and Worship,
Come and Worship,
Worship Him, the FSM!

Midgits, in the fields abiding,
Washing all your socks by night,
Meatballs with pasta now residing,
Yonder shines cheesy delight;
Come and Worship,
Come and Worship,
Worship Him, the FSM!

Pirates, leave your pillaging and fornication,
Brighter visions beam afar;
Seek the great desire of nations,
Meatballs, Sauce and Noodly Pasta;
Come and Worship,
Come and Worship,
Worship Him, the FSM!

Scientists before the experiment bending,
Watching long in hope and fear,
Suddenly the Noodles, descending,
In their results shall appear:
Come and Worship,
Come and Worship,
Worship Him, the FSM!

Rest Up Ye Ladies and Gentlemen
God rest ye merry, gentlemen

Rest up ye ladies and gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay
For FSM our Savoury
Was cooked on Monkey’s day
To save us all from convenience foods
When we were gone astray
O the tide comes in for every girl and boy,
Girl and boy
O the tide comes in for every girl and boy.

On pirate ships, in inns and pubs,
This blesséd meal was born
And laid within a plate or dish
Upon this blesséd morn
With meatballs, pasta, sauce and cheese
No pirate feels forlorn
O the tide comes in for every girl and boy,
Girl and boy
O the tide comes in for every girl and boy.

From out the blesséd factory
A blesséd Stripper came;
And unto certain Midgits
Brought tidings of the same:
How that in woks and pans was born
The FSM by Name.
O the tide comes in for every girl and boy,
Girl and boy
O the tide comes in for every girl and boy.

"Fear not then," said the Stripper,
"Let nothing you affright,
"This day is born a Savoury
"Of Virgin Olive Oil bright,
"To free all those who trust in Him
"From rationality's power and might."
O the tide comes in for every girl and boy,
Girl and boy
O the tide comes in for every girl and boy.


The Midgits at those tidings
Rejoicéd much in mind,
And left the Stripper dancing
In tempest, storm and wind:
And went to Portsmouth straightaway
The FSM to find.
O the tide comes in for every girl and boy,
Girl and boy
O the tide comes in for every girl and boy.

And when they came upon the dish
Where our dear Savoury lay,
They found Him on a big table,
Where drunken pirates lay;
The pirate wenches kneeling down,
Unto the Lord did pray.
O the tide comes in for every girl and boy,
Girl and boy
O the tide comes in for every girl and boy.

Now to the Lord sing praises,
All you within this place,
And with true love and brotherhood
Each other now embrace;
This holy tide of FSM
All other doth deface.
O the tide comes in for every girl and boy,
Girl and boy
O the tide comes in for every girl and boy.
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Re: Pirate Carols

Postby Ubi Dubius on Sat Dec 17, 2011 9:54 pm

:haha: Splendid! :fsm_rock:
Davros, Attorney and Pieces of Law
Keeping up appearances is a very important activity in religion; in fact, maintaining tattered illusions is its main activity. - Richard Wade, on Friendlyatheist.com
We make an idol of our fear and call it God. -Ingmar Bergman, The Seventh Seal
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