What the F***?

[darren996]

De quoi on parle ici?! Vous êtes une bande d'illuminés imbéciles néophites naifs de mes deux fesses.

Le monde tourne déjà assez mal comme ça et en plus il faudrait perdre du temps à vénérer une créature purement sortie de l'imagination d'un épais!

En vérité je vous le dit mes enfants: le monde n'a pas été créé par un monstre spaghetti volant mais bien: MOI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nul ne le sait, mais je suis Dieu. Et puisque vous n'êtes pas assez intelligent encore pour comprendre ma langue, le Français, aux garçons, je vais tous vous castrer et aux filles, vous faire tomber les seins avant 40 ans!!!!!!!

Écoutez-moi bien maintenant, repentez-vous, sinon vous connaîtrez la souffrance pour tout le reste de votre vie et dans la mort. Je vous ferai manger du spaghetti par l'anus pendant milles ans dans l'audelà!

Je vous quitte maintenant, mais je vais revenir et continuer ma quête pour vous diriger vers le droit chemin.

D'ici là brossez-vous les dents trois fois par jour et n'oubliez pas qu'un métrosexuel est un gai qui s'ignore!

-Vandal-

Babelfish says:

About what one speaks here?! You are a band of illuminated imbeciles néophites naifs of my two buttocks.

The world turns already rather badly like that and in more it would be necessary to waste time to venerate a creature purely left the imagination of thick!

In truth I says it to you my children: the world was not created by a flying monster spaghetti but well: ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No one does not know it, but I am God. And since you are not intelligent enough still to understand my language, the French, to the boys, I all will castrate you and with the girls, to make you fall the centres before 40 years!!!!!!!

Listen to me well now, repent, if not you will know the suffering for all the remainder of your life and in death. I will make you eat spaghetti by the anus during miles years in the audelà!

I leave to you now, but I will return and continue my search to direct you towards the right way.

By then you brush the teeth three times per day and do not forget that a métrosexuel is merry which is unaware of!

I think I get the gist of it... Sounds kinda like a bitter E.Raser...

[Duke]

Babelfish says:

About what one speaks here?! You are a band of illuminated imbeciles néophites naifs of my two buttocks.

The world turns already rather badly like that and in more it would be necessary to waste time to venerate a creature purely left the imagination of thick!

In truth I says it to you my children: the world was not created by a flying monster spaghetti but well: ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No one does not know it, but I am God. And since you are not intelligent enough still to understand my language, the French, to the boys, I all will castrate you and with the girls, to make you fall the centres before 40 years!!!!!!!

Listen to me well now, repent, if not you will know the suffering for all the remainder of your life and in death. I will make you eat spaghetti by the anus during miles years in the audelà!

I leave to you now, but I will return and continue my search to direct you towards the right way.

By then you brush the teeth three times per day and do not forget that a métrosexuel is merry which is unaware of!

I think I get the gist of it... Sounds kinda like a bitter E.Raser...

Yikes!

Man, this just made my day. I just can't stop laughing!

Sounds like a angry, insane, and weirder E. Raser................


Duke

[StephyMerirosvo]

OK, Babelfish sucks. I'm gonna do this for you guys. But, hmm, well. This so-called Vandal sounds a bit boring to me. Like hmm, I wonder if it's worth making the traduction. But, as I finished my abstract yesterday, and I should work on an article BUT it's Friday, a holy day, I'm gonna take some time to translate those... hmm stuff.

Here it goes:

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What are we talking about here? You are a group of imbecile freaks (illuminated), neophyte, naives of my ass.

The world is already doing bad enough, moreover, we should loose our time at worshiping a creature that simply came out of an idiot's mind!
[comment of the translator : I think, what he meant was, "A Godly, Noodly, Creature that was revealed by it's Greatness Bobby!"]

Trully I tell you my children [Here "En vérité je vous le dis" is a usual form used in Catholic churches in French] : The world haven't been created by "a" (sic) Flying Spaghetti Monster [By the way, it's Friday today and there will be Spaghetti at the cafeteria!!! wooohhooo!!!] but in fact by ME!!!!!!!!!!!! [He seems so happy about it]. No one knows but I am God. And as you are not intelligent enough to understand my language [Well, in fact I think I come exactly from the same place than he does, I can recognize the very Quebecish style in his language, I think I am "intelligent enough" to understand his language despite it doesn't have anything to do with intelligence... And I don't think French demands for an higher intelligence anyway, this guy should try to learn Finnish, just for fun! but euh, anyway, let's go on], to the boys I will cut your balls and to the girls make your balls fall down before you go 40!!! [well, I always knew this would happen one day... but I totally intend to use the stripper factory for remodeling purposes]

Listen to me very well now, repent, if you don't you will suffer for the rest of your life, and also in death (sic). I will force you to eat spaghetti by the anus [strange definition of eating] during a thoulsand years and over.

I leave you now, but I'll return and go on with my quest to guide you on the right path.

Until then, brush your teeth three time a day and don't forget that a metrosexual is an homosexual who ignores it.

-Vandal-

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This monster is certainly not superior to our Noodly Monster. And anyway, I will have no Monster before Him. Well, you know Quebec is a nice place (unless he might be an outside-Quebec French Canadian but the probabilities are low as he seems not to be able to communicate efficiently in English hence his need to claim that French is a superior language). So, I was saying, well, you know, Quebec is a nice place despite some intolerant people. And Quebec city is beautiful despite they voted conservative last Monday and they were crying out "Freedom" all around because they believed a guy on the radio had the right to be racist, homophobic, fascist, etc in the name of freedom of speech. And We have a lot of beautiful landscapes you should really see. OK, basta! I go back to work!

[Qwertyuiopasd]

either hes auto-theist like Doc (not likely) or hes just plain retarded.
[size=0]retardedretardedretardedretarded[/size]
let's not make assumptions though.

[DeadPoet]

In case he comes back:

Vandal, ici, nous essayons d'avor une discussion civilisée sur des thèmes que tu ne comprends peut-être pas complètement (vu que tu ne sembles pas avoir déja attenu l'age de raison...7 ans?), mais ce n'est pas une raison pour insulter les membres du forum et le forum en général. Personne ne t'oblige á t'occuper de notre religion si tu n'y voit aucun fondement. Ou peut-être que c'est juste un concept qui t'échappes...le concept qu'on puisse discuter de choses sérieuses d'une manière humouristique et civilisée á la fois. Le concept de la discussion en général - qu'on puisse avoir une attitude tolérante plutôt que purement déstructive.

Nous avions réussi á faire baisser le nombre de batards dans ce forum - s'il te plaits, ne le fait pas augmenter en restant ici. Soit gentil et dégage.

In english: Fuck off.

[StephyMerirosvo]

Dead Poet: I can guarantee this guy is not French, it's a French Canadian for sure.

[DeadPoet]

Oh, ok. I can only make the difference if I hear it. But as he apprently could not speak English, I thought he would rather be French/Belgian/whatever than Canadian.
Just out of curiosity, how did you recognize that? Quebec vocabulary? I didn't know "épais"...it probably doesn't mean "thick". Is that a Quebecian insult (pardon my ignorance, I was only in Montréal once in my life) ?

[Qwertyuiopasd]

he apprently could not speak English,

well he knows the most important phrase of english.

[DeadPoet]

well he knows the most important phrase of english.

Good one . But the most important English sentence is the one I added under my post .

By the way, if by any cance cou come to the Netherlands once, try using "Ik bin eein ongelookijg nijlpaard" (I don't have any idea of the spelling). That's the first Dutch thing I learned .

[StephyMerirosvo]

DeadPoet: yes the vocabulary was quite Quebecish. Especially épais! You spoted it right! And I could recognize the insults... they are quite, hmm, let's say... "Classic". I heard that before and never from any French ;-)

You should never make the assumption that French-Canadians do speak English. Most of them don't especially if they are from Québec. We only have course in school, and I swear even if you really want to learn, you don't really learn that much. In other provinces they usually learn it because they need it in their everyday life. Our accent is just a bit less obvious then the French ;-)

Let's say it's just obvious to me that it's not the French way of doing things. But these are subtilities that might be hard for you to see. Épais doesn't mean "thick" of course... I can't really translate it. It's somewhat a generic name for someone you don't like.

[DeadPoet]

Thans for the explanation! I can only make the difference between a French and a Quebecian if I hear them talk...the it's quite obvious. I like the Quebecian accent, it's funny .

But apparently now our dear Vandal is gone...maybe he's being a dick in another forum. But at least he brought a bit of discussion into the Languages forum .

[StephyMerirosvo]

I think, at this time, he/she's probably sleeping... it's not even 7 am there in Quebec right now.

Edit: and don't dare you say our accent is funny. It's the REAL French. ;-) Actually, it's been said that our French is a cleaner French as people were coming from all over France with all different accents and they had to adopt a more "pure" French to be able to understand each other.

[DeadPoet]

Ok, ok, your French isn't funny...it's just entertaining to me .

We have a lot of different accents and dialects in Germany too, and probably in a more extreme way than in France (where a guy from Arras can still vaguely understand what a guy from Marseille is saying), the Bavarian dialect being the worst to understand, closely follwed by the Saxon.

I think a part of the issue with Quebecian French is that it is an "older" version of French, too. The French in Canada and France evoluated differently...I don't think you can talk about "purity" here.

[StephyMerirosvo]

Well, not anymore. But in France it continued evolving whereas in Québec, they had to stop, make a reference language and then go on with evolving (in a different way than France of course). So technically, our "version" of French have been "purified" (please understand standardized) in the 18e century. While France never standardized theirs. But still, I can understand all the French accents pretty well. I really don't get why they say they don't understand each other... I find it rather funny.

[StephyMerirosvo]

DeadPoet: it's actually written "ik ben een ongelooflijk nijlpaard"
;-)


Leve het nijlpaard, wat een schitterend dier
Dik, lui en lelijk ligt hij in de rivier
Je hoort hem nooit klagen, het nijlpaard heeft stijl
Hij ligt alle dagen met zijn kont in de Nijl