Stripper factory: necessary for FSM to make its point?

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Postby matthew.r.lucas on Mon Apr 14, 2008 10:56 am

The factories create strippers, not females. Nowhere does it specify females in these stripper factories. Male strippers also exist. Google it.
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Postby Clifford on Mon Apr 14, 2008 11:30 am

^^ he is correct
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Postby farfalla on Mon Apr 14, 2008 3:01 pm

from, The Holy Noodle chapter:

second day =" And let there be a volcano to spew forth beer,"

third day = "So he lifted Day Two's firmament up to the heavens and renamed it Heaven." This is how the beer volcano got in heaven.

fifth day = "He had a funny feeling and realized in His drunken stupor that He not only built a factory in heaven that turned out scantily clad women in transparent high heels, but He'd also created a midget on earth whom He called Man.

looks like, at least in the beginning, the strippers were women. It is difficult to call this sexist because it sounds like their creation in heaven had nothing to do with the creation of the Man on earth.

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Postby Moral Minority on Tue Apr 15, 2008 4:14 am

But teh first midgit was male, so it can be understood why the strippers were female at first.
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Postby Robbobrob on Tue Apr 15, 2008 7:25 am

For those who like girls, they see female strippers.

For those who like boys, they see male strippers.

For those who are bi, they see them all.

For those who have problems with the beauty of the human body, and feel the need to offend everyone by making them cover up, you don't have to have strippers at all.
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Postby supertorresmo on Tue Apr 15, 2008 9:38 am

And for someone who are hermaphrodites by nature, but chosen to be transsexual?

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Postby Cardinal Fang on Tue Apr 15, 2008 12:23 pm

Maybe the strippers are just etherial beings who miraculously appeal to everyone, irrelevant of their age, gender, sexual orientation etc?

Surely his Noodliness, in his benevolent spaghetti wisdom would create an option to make everyone happy?

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Postby DaveL on Tue Apr 15, 2008 4:07 pm

Isn't the Stripper Factory in possession of male and female strippers? My understanding has always been that FSM Heaven is gender neutral. The Great One was always eager to apply equal opportunity - read the 8 I'd really rather you didn'ts

3. I’d really rather you didn’t judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, Okay? Oh, and get this into your thick heads: woman = person. man = person. Samey = Samey. One is not better than the other, unless we’re talking about fashion and I'm sorry, but I gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuchsia.
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Re: Stripper factory: necessary for FSM to make its point?

Postby Rainswept on Tue Apr 15, 2008 11:18 pm

Aviana wrote:As a feminist I am opposed to the idea of yet another religion that treats women as things. In this case, things that are manufactured for the sexual pleasure of men, things with no autonomy or choice as to whether they even want to be strippers.

Yes, I realize this is a parody religion. One might make the arguement that this aspect of it mocks the misogyny that runs througout pretty much ever other religion, particularly the three most popular male sky god religions: Christianity, Judaism and Islam. It mocks these religions by just blatantly symbolizing how they view women.

I love the pasta. I love the idea that pirate costumes decrease global warming trends. I love the idea that if ID ever gets a toe hold in science classes FSM will be there too.

However, it would be great if just one thing that I enjoy could be totally free of this particular brand of misogynistic bullshit.

Does any one else here understand what I mean?


My guess is that each of us gets our very own personalized stripper factory. Yours can produce anything you want. Perhaps for you it'll mass produce copies of your significant other in whatever pose you like, and you can use them to decorate your home. Heck, if they are factory made, one can assume that if you -really- don't like strippers, you can just use them for target practice, or drown them in the beer volcano.

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I believe it's time for mankind to set aside the crutch of religion and embrace morality born of reason and truth. Those crutches have long since proven treacherous when the ground gets slippery.
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Postby Auntie Blackbeard on Wed Apr 16, 2008 12:37 am

DaveL wrote:Isn't the Stripper Factory in possession of male and female strippers? My understanding has always been that FSM Heaven is gender neutral. The Great One was always eager to apply equal opportunity - read the 8 I'd really rather you didn'ts

3. I’d really rather you didn’t judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, Okay? Oh, and get this into your thick heads: woman = person. man = person. Samey = Samey. One is not better than the other, unless we’re talking about fashion and I'm sorry, but I gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuchsia.


From the old days at the start, the thing was that the factories were NOT just creating 'mindless beings'--and they aren't prostitute factories. There was also the bit about Pastafarians being able to check in at the factory for an re-do or an upgrade.

You might note in the original Open Letter that Bobby sorta came up with this on the fly...no long term 'planning it all out'. The early forum members discussed this at HUGE length, and the equality of 'stripperhood' was a big decision, as was the idea that the Beer Volcano(es) gave forth the beverage of choice. A lot of the old posts are gone now, but it's still (among the oldtimers) a given that one gets the gender one wants at the factory (Auntie BB wants a noice pirate wif a substanchal cutlass...), that 'beer' is a short version of 'beverage of choice', and that diabetics aren't required to suffer (nor are persons with celiac problems--can't eat wheat products.)

Everybody can find something to fuss about in almost anything. this shouldn't be a problem if you learn about the 'ancient lore', such as it is.
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Postby PantyGnawer on Wed Apr 16, 2008 12:47 am

Auntie Blackbeard wrote: (Auntie BB wants a noice pirate wif a substanchal cutlass...)



Arrrrrr foine lady, ye can get that ere on earth! :wink:
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Postby Moral Minority on Wed Apr 16, 2008 3:37 am

I am hoping that the strippers in heaven will be intelectuals. I am sick and tired of idiots on earth.
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Postby Robbobrob on Wed Apr 16, 2008 8:40 am

Moral Minority wrote:I am hoping that the strippers in heaven will be intelectuals. I am sick and tired of idiots on earth.
Eye, a body like Jessica Simpson, the wit of John Stewart, and the smarts of ME (intellectual equal, as it were).
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Postby farfalla on Wed Apr 16, 2008 8:51 am

^^^^^^^.... we pastafarians make our heaven and religion to suit us - just like many others, except we embrace the concept
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Postby Clifford on Thu Apr 17, 2008 12:10 pm

^^^ In a figure of speaking
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