What lurks within the depths of the Beer Volcano?

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What lurks within the depths of the Beer Volcano?

Postby theroachyjay on Sun Aug 20, 2006 7:04 pm

Assuming one-so brave explorer were to consume an Enchanted Microwaveable Burrito that enabled them to safely breathe as they swam downward through the beer in the volcano. What would He have placed at the bottom? :fsm_ninja:
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Postby Sarky on Sun Aug 20, 2006 7:24 pm

Well, did you ever watch that volano episode of Neon Genesis Evangelion? o_0

I suspect towards the core the sheer pressures on the beer compress and concentrate its beerness, until one encounters the quintessence of beer, too pure to drink or even smell in its raw form, compressed into extra dimensions as it must surely be.
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Postby theroachyjay on Sun Aug 20, 2006 8:09 pm

Thanks, I was thinking of some form of passage that might lead to FSM Hell... I'm not sure, bur your answer makes a fair deal of sense, too.
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Postby Jerm on Sun Aug 20, 2006 8:58 pm

I imagine there's a lot of change down there, from people mistakenly throwing it in and making a wish.

And if not, there's an idea to raise some funds up there for a rainy day.
It all kind of went downhill from there.
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Postby theroachyjay on Sun Aug 20, 2006 10:15 pm

Auntie Dee Dee wrote:
theroachyjay wrote:Thanks, I was thinking of some form of passage that might lead to FSM Hell... I'm not sure, bur your answer makes a fair deal of sense, too.


There's not really an FSM Hell. There's the sweltering, humid Dish-pit of Doom, and the even worse Pot and Pan Sinks of Torment, but even the horrible people that are sent to work there are given a place to live, some time off, dry clothes to change into, and are fed. Not the finest of everything, but fed and provided for in a manner far above what their greediness and contemptability allowed for the poor here on earth. The dish-pit is mostly staffed by politicians who didn't do their job of representing the people, but instead represented the wealthy and influential. They're joined by child molesters and that sort of human refuse, and mass murders, including the ones that perpetrate war in the name of profit and power.

One step up, you get the less heinous criminals, and the stupid and gullible politicians, scrubbing floors, cleaning restrooms, etc. and it goes upward from there.

No boiling oil, no eternal pot of boiling water, no 'mirror' of the well known Hell image. A loving and kind creator like the FSM doesn't need eternal vengance.


Ah, I'd always pictured it to be a parallel to Heaven, but infinatly smaller, much more crowded, and where the strippers had VD and the beer was watered down to a point where you couldn't get drunk if you drank it.
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Postby theroachyjay on Sun Aug 20, 2006 10:58 pm

I like your definition alot better, actually. I think I'll adopt it.
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Postby Sarky on Mon Aug 21, 2006 8:39 am

I've often wondered if the Beer Volcano supports its own ecosphere in the manner of hot sulphorous geysers and deep-sea hydrothermal vents? All manner of microbes (certainly some forms of yeast, eh beer enthusiasts? Eh? EH?) and other tiny life forms could surely inhabit the depths of that alcohol-filled mountain. They would of course have to be not only non-poisonous/dangerous, but even quite tasty and nourishing, allowing man to live on beer alone. And, due to the selective pressures of their environment, they're all probably pretzel-shaped...
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Postby Alpaca on Mon Aug 21, 2006 9:30 am

And probably floating among the pretzel-shaped life forms are many Pastafarians who simply wish to live immersed in beer 24/7.
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Postby Sir Francis Drake on Mon Aug 21, 2006 9:58 am

Ahhh, floating along with Factory-fresh rejuvinated bods.

PTFSM!
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Postby Aeger on Mon Aug 21, 2006 11:34 am

I've always imagined that there a whole beer based eco system deep within the volcano, perhaps extending all the way below the crust to where magma would normally be on our earth. I've invisioned large beer bottles frolicing freely with light and lager versions of its kind, as well as olives.

You gotta love olives.
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Postby anthrobabe on Mon Aug 21, 2006 11:47 am

Sir Francis Drake wrote:Ahhh, floating along with Factory-fresh rejuvinated bods.

PTFSM!



isn't that surfing in Cali?


(I like the defininition too Auntie)
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Postby Captain Noobhead on Tue Aug 22, 2006 11:20 pm

I'm guessing lots of fancy gadgets and machinery. Or noodly magicks, whichever one better explains the constant pumping of beer.

New smilie! :fsm_ninja:
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Postby 100% Grated Parmesan on Wed Aug 23, 2006 4:04 am

I'm hoping for the Boddington's brewery.
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Postby Sir Francis Drake on Wed Aug 23, 2006 9:59 am

If you've been decent, I'm sure that the FSM will make it so for you!
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Re: What lurks within the depths of the Beer Volcano?

Postby Duke on Wed Aug 23, 2006 1:19 pm

theroachyjay wrote:Assuming one-so brave explorer were to consume an Enchanted Microwaveable Burrito that enabled them to safely breathe as they swam downward through the beer in the volcano. What would He have placed at the bottom? :fsm_ninja:


I imagine you would find a mystical wormhole-like thing, spewing beer. I bet that the beer force is so strong that no mortal could swim into this wormhole. It's a one way wormhole.


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