I'm new here, and have questions

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Patent Penne
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I'm new here, and have questions

Postby Patent Penne » Wed Aug 16, 2006 7:34 pm

I recently converted to Pastafarianism after much soul searching, and now have a few questions, if anyone cares to help out the new guy. First, is it still OK to eat pasta? Is it like the body of Christ thing, or just dinner? Second, I had a dream where several large Swedish lumberjacks were throwing meatballs at me. Sign, or coincidence? Third, I am the actual descendant of an honest-to-FSM pirate named Billy the Stupid (he frequently blundered his plundering. He was called the Pillage Idiot). Does this mean I get into Heaven more easily, or is it just fate screwing with me again? And finally, do any of you know where I left my car keys? I could have sworn I just had them in my hand. Thanks in advance.

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Dr. Otis Lansa
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Postby Dr. Otis Lansa » Wed Aug 16, 2006 7:52 pm

Drop by the 'New Converts Thread' in START HERE to let everyone get a look at you, and while you're there check out the FAQ (some answers there) and the Forum Rules.

Getting into Heaven isn't a difficult thing, so while having a pirate for an ancestor may have helped bring you to the FSM, it doesn't make much of a difference otherwise (the FAQ has some info on Heaven and HellLight).

The meatball dream could mean you were Touched by His Noodly Appendage, or might mean you're spending too much time at IKEA. Hard to say.

The car keys are your problem. :mrgreen:
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Qwertyuiopasd
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Re: I'm new here, and have questions

Postby Qwertyuiopasd » Wed Aug 16, 2006 7:55 pm

hurry, go here, before DD finds you: START HERE

your first question is answered in the FAQ. read all of the FAQ, then the other places there, and post in the POST HERE FIRST thread.


second question, I'd say thats a sign, but then, I opt for sign for ANYTHING. not sure what it means though...

everyone goes to heaven. a few really nasty people will have to clean burn pots in a humid dishpit for quite some time, but they eventually get to heaven.

as for car keyes, did you check your left pants pocket?

~Qwerty
daftbeaker wrote:But if I stop bugging you I'll have to go back to arguing with Qwerty about whether beauty is truth and precisely what we both mean by 'purple' :moon:


Any statistical increase in the usage of the :idiot: emoticon since becoming Admin should not be considered significant, meaningful, or otherwise cause for worry.

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Gruppenfuhrer
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Postby Gruppenfuhrer » Wed Aug 16, 2006 10:36 pm

Uhh.....i have the car keys....

Patent Penne
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Thanks

Postby Patent Penne » Thu Aug 17, 2006 9:49 am

And for all who doubt the power of FSM, the keys were in my left front pocket! No joke![/u]

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anthrobabe
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Postby anthrobabe » Thu Aug 17, 2006 12:29 pm

found keys

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Just save the farkin Gorillas will you! They don't have spell check- but they do need YOU/US...
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Sir Francis Drake
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Postby Sir Francis Drake » Thu Aug 17, 2006 5:09 pm

I wouldn't consider Swedish meatballs to be exactly like spaghetti and meatballs, but that's okay. The FSM is a tolerant deity. He careth not whether or not your meatballs have weird spices on them. He only careth whether or not you are spiritually nourished.

I mean cares. Not careth. I just had something stuck between my teeth. It was my car keys. I keep them there so I don't lose them.

We do not pattern ourselves after the Christian religions* (so we can co-exist with them and/or any others), so don't worry about actually eating our Monster... unless your spaghetti happens to be flying and omnipotent, and then I hope someone has a camera 'cause that would be one wild piece of footage.





*There may be some coincidences and interpretations based on known religions. This too, is tolerable.
Taste the truth, savor the satire, pass the pasta!

Dona Nobis Pasta

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Dr. Otis Lansa
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Postby Dr. Otis Lansa » Thu Aug 17, 2006 5:37 pm

I wouldn't consider Swedish meatballs to be exactly like spaghetti and meatballs, but that's okay.

There is a major independant Swedish Pastafarian movement, however, so maybe there is a connection. Maybe they're 'convernoodling' in dreams now.
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Bringerofpie
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Postby Bringerofpie » Thu Aug 17, 2006 10:26 pm

Perhaps in heaven you'll see you're pirate ancestor.
"Now watch this drive."

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Qwertyuiopasd
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Re: Thanks

Postby Qwertyuiopasd » Thu Aug 17, 2006 11:08 pm

Patent Penne wrote:And for all who doubt the power of FSM, the keys were in my left front pocket! No joke!


OMG! I AM TEH PROPHET!

well, maybe not a prophet. but thats a damn funny coincidence.
daftbeaker wrote:But if I stop bugging you I'll have to go back to arguing with Qwerty about whether beauty is truth and precisely what we both mean by 'purple' :moon:


Any statistical increase in the usage of the :idiot: emoticon since becoming Admin should not be considered significant, meaningful, or otherwise cause for worry.


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