I did a little "converting" on Myspace

The place for general discussion about the Flying Spaghetti Monster and most things related to Him.

Moderator: All Things Mods

I did a little "converting" on Myspace

Postby haxmasta on Sat Aug 05, 2006 4:21 am

Ok, so I've been seeing a lot of religious bulletins going around Myspace that I know are just excuses to see what everyone believes in, so tonight I found this floating around in my bulletin space:

One day Satan and Jesus were having a conversation. Satan had
just departed from the Garden of Eden, and he was gloating and boasting.

"Yes, sir, I just caught a World full of people down there. I set me a trap and used a little bait.
I knew they couldn't resist. Got 'em all!"

"What are you going to do with them?" Jesus asked.
Satan replied,

"Oh, I'm gonna have fun! I'm gonna teach them how
to marry and divorce each other, how to hate and abuse each other, how to drink and smoke and curse. I'm gonna teach them how to invent guns and bombs and kill each other. I'm really gonna have fun!"

"And what will you do when you get done with them?" Jesus asked.

"Oh, I'll kill 'em," Satan glared proudly. "How much do you want for them?" Jesus asked

"Oh, you don't want those people. They ain't no good. See, you'll take them and they'll just hate you. They'll spit on you, curse you then kill you. You don't want those people!!"

"How much?" He asked again.
Satan looked at Jesus and sneered,

"All your blood, tears, and your life."

Jesus said without hesitation,
"DONE!"

Then He paid the price.

- Isn't it funny how simple it is for people to trash God
and then wonder why the World's going to Hell?

- Isn't it funny how someone can say "I believe in God" but still
follow Satan?

- Isn't it funny how you can repost a thousand jokes through bulletins and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending bulletins regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing?

- Isn't it funny how I can be more worried about what other people think of me than what God thinks of me.

- I pray, for everyone who reposts this,
they will be blessed by God in a way special for them

- And send it back to the person who sent it, to let them know that indeed it was sent out to many more.

- If You Love God... And, are not ashamed of all the marvelous things HE has done for you...

*~Repost this as ~"Read only if you have time for God"~



Sorta makes you feel like crap and a bit down trodden right? What kind of person would WANT to make you feel guilty?! (I don't mean jesus, I mean the person that wrote that)


I figured I should do some revising of that bulletin to make this for us Pastafarians:

One day The Flying Spaghetti Monster and the midget were having a conversation. The Flying Spaghetti Monster had just departed from Earth, and he was boasting.

"Yes, sir, I just converted a World full of people down there. I set them a bowl and used some noodles. I knew they couldn't resist. Got 'em all!"

"What are you going to do then?" The midget asked.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster replied, "Oh, I'm gonna teach them how to pillage and plunder together, how to be shipmates and where to get the good ramen, how to drink grog and find loot. I'm gonna teach them how to invent new forms of pasta and sauces and trade with each other."

"And what will you do when you get done with them?" Jesus asked.

"Oh, I'll stay up here in heaven," The Flying Spaghetti Monster said proudly.

"How much do you want for the beer volcano?" The midget asked on a side note

"Oh, you don't want that, it's stale now. It's no good. See, you need to go around that one to the next volcano, it's fresh. I made it yesterday!"

"How much?" He asked again.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster looked at the midget and said,

"Oh nothing much, just be a pirate and enjoy life"

The Midget said without hesitation,
"DONE!"

Then He made him into a great pirate Cap'n to hand out candy and other goodies to peace loving people around the world.

- Isn't it funny how simple it is to make ramen,
and then wonder why the world doesn't just eat that all the time?

- Isn't it funny how someone can say "I believe in evolution" but still
follow The Flying Spaghetti Monster?

- Isn't it funny how you can repost a thousand pirate jokes through bulletins and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending bulletins regarding ninjas, people think twice about sharing?

- Isn't it funny how I can be more worried about what other pirates think of me than what The Flying Spaghetti Monster thinks of me.

- I say arrrr, to everyone who reposts this,
they will be touched by The Flying Spaghetti Monster in a way special to them

- And send it back to the person who sent it, to let them know that indeed it was sent out to many more Pastafarians.

- If You Love The Flying Spaghetti Monster... And, are not ashamed of all the marvelous things His Noodly Appendages have touched...

*~Repost this as ~"Read only if you have time for The Flying Spaghetti Monster"~


I thought that was a much more up-beat bulletin, it even put a spring in my step after I re-wrote it to be more in His Noodly ideals :D
"If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts."
Albert Einstein (dead)

RAmen.


Image
User avatar
haxmasta
Gnocchetti Galley Slave
 
Posts: 63
Joined: Wed Jul 26, 2006 3:20 am
Location: SOCAL

Postby haxmasta on Sat Aug 05, 2006 5:15 am

Well thanks Auntie! I was hoping the regulars on the site would like this, it didn't take too long and I quite enjoyed it!

And I'm appauled that Myspace doesn't have "Pastafarian" as a religion you can choose. I am NOT agnostic, I am NOT an Atheist, I am NOT under "other", I'm a PASTAFARIAN.
"If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts."
Albert Einstein (dead)

RAmen.


Image
User avatar
haxmasta
Gnocchetti Galley Slave
 
Posts: 63
Joined: Wed Jul 26, 2006 3:20 am
Location: SOCAL

Postby Captain Noobhead on Sun Aug 06, 2006 2:15 am

Well done. +1 for the intelligent people on myspace. ^_^
User avatar
Captain Noobhead
Cavatappi Cabin Boy
 
Posts: 74
Joined: Sun Mar 26, 2006 2:13 am
Location: Columbia, Missouri

Postby haxmasta on Sun Aug 06, 2006 2:21 am

Oh hell yeah. :fsm_rock:

hey, who does have myspace? Anyone? Oh, I guess you don't want to admit to having an account on an advertising scheme.

Ok, I'll admit I was sucked into it, but that's only because no one checks their email if they're under 18 :x

my account name is "Common Sense" and yes I believe it should be a class taught in public schools.
"If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts."
Albert Einstein (dead)

RAmen.


Image
User avatar
haxmasta
Gnocchetti Galley Slave
 
Posts: 63
Joined: Wed Jul 26, 2006 3:20 am
Location: SOCAL

Postby haxmasta on Sun Aug 06, 2006 3:02 am

Ooo, that hurts, maybe they were just trying to type really really fast? You know how FPS players came up with PWNED because they just missed the O? Or how sometimes you spell "the" as "teh"?

I dunno, I'm usually cautious as to how I spell things, it's all in the context I'd say
"If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts."
Albert Einstein (dead)

RAmen.


Image
User avatar
haxmasta
Gnocchetti Galley Slave
 
Posts: 63
Joined: Wed Jul 26, 2006 3:20 am
Location: SOCAL

Postby haxmasta on Sun Aug 06, 2006 3:25 am

LOL

That's a good one, oh, I remember when I used to pass through the ftp of websites, finding the good stuff, you know, password logs and new file transfers that weren't shown to the public.

Oh the good ol' days :mrgreen:
"If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts."
Albert Einstein (dead)

RAmen.


Image
User avatar
haxmasta
Gnocchetti Galley Slave
 
Posts: 63
Joined: Wed Jul 26, 2006 3:20 am
Location: SOCAL

Postby Sarky on Sun Aug 06, 2006 11:31 am

Good show, that man. I shall be doing the same to any overtly religious messages sent to me on the numerous websites I'm too ashamed to admit to being a member of.
"I'm so excited I just made water in my pantaloons!"

-Emperor Zombie
Sarky
Ziti Zealot
 
Posts: 12
Joined: Thu Aug 03, 2006 11:41 pm
Location: Galway, Ireland

Postby Sir Francis Drake on Sun Aug 06, 2006 2:18 pm

Truly, His noodly appendages guided you, hax. I love this. It's so happy and positive.

It deserves to be spread around, like a good marinara. :wink:
Taste the truth, savor the satire, pass the pasta!

Dona Nobis Pasta

-Opsanus tau
Sir Francis Drake
Monkaroni
 
Posts: 993
Joined: Fri Dec 02, 2005 7:09 pm
Location: FSM's own Honorable Order of Toadfish Monastery

Postby Qwertyuiopasd on Sun Aug 06, 2006 3:05 pm

I'm on myspace its, shock shock, Qwerty. I'll post a link.

but first heres an email I got this morning, from someone jewish. it was forwarded to me, and forwarded to her, and forwarded to whoever forwarded it to her. big ol' chain email.

The baggy yellow shirt had long sleeves, four extra-large pockets trimmed in black thread

and snaps up the front. It was faded from years of wear, but still in decent shape. I found it in 1963 when I was home from college on Christmas break, rummaging through bags of clothes Mom intended to give away. "You're not taking that old thing, are you?" Mom said when she saw me packing the yellow shirt. "I wore that when I was pregnant with your brother in 1954!"

"It's just the thing to wear over my clothes during art class,

Mom. Thanks!" I slipped it into my suitcase before she could object. The yellow shirt be came a part of my college wardrobe. I loved it. After graduation, I wore the shirt the day I moved into my new apartment and on Saturday mornings when I cleaned.

The next year, I married. When I became pregnant, I wore the yellow shirt during big-belly days. I missed Mom and the rest of my family, since we were in Colorado and they were in Illinois But that shirt helped. I smiled, remembering that Mother had worn it when she was pregnant, 15 years earlier.

That Christmas, mindful of the warm feelings the shirt had given me, I patched one elbow, wrapped it in holiday paper and sent it to Mom. When Mom wrote to thank me for her "real" gifts, she said the yellow shirt was lovely. She never mentioned it again.

The next year, my husband, daughter and I stopped at Mom and Dad's to pick up some

furniture. Days later, when we uncrated the kitchen table, I noticed something yellow taped to its bottom. The shirt!

And so the pattern was set.

On our next visit home, I secretly placed the shirt under Mom and Dad's mattress. I don't know how long it took for her to find it, but almost two years passed before I discovered it under the base of our living-room floor lamp. The yellow shirt was just what I needed now while refinishing furniture. The walnut stains added character.

In 1975 my husband and I divorced. With my three children, I prepared to move back to Illinois . As I packed, a deep depression overtook me. I wondered if I could make it on my own. I wondered if I would find a job. I paged through the Bible, looking for comfort. In Ephesians, I read, "So use every piece of God's armor to resist the enemy whenever he attacks, and when it is all over, you will be standing up."

I tried to picture myself wearing God's armor, but all I saw was the stained yellow shirt. Slowly, it dawned on me. Wasn't my mother's love a piece of God's armor? My courage was renewed.

Unpacking in our new home, I knew I had to get the shirt back to Mother. The next time I visited her, I tucked it in her bottom dresser drawer.

Meanwhile, I found a good job at a radio station. A year later I discovered the yellow shirt hidden in a rag bag in my cleaning closet.

Something new had been added. Embroidered in bright green across the breast pocket were the words "I BELONG TO PAT."

Not to be outdone, I got out my own embroidery materials and added an apostrophe and seven more letters. Now the shirt proudly proclaimed, "I BELONG TO PAT'S MOTHER." But I didn't stop there. I zig-zagged all the frayed seams, then had a friend mail the shirt in a fancy box to Mom from Arlington , VA. We enclosed an

official looking letter from "The Institute for the Destitute," announcing that she was the recipient of an award for good deeds. I would have given anything to see Mom's face when she opened the box. But, of course, she never mentioned it.

Two years later, in 1978, I remarried. The day of our wedding, Harold and I put our car in a friend's garage to avoid practical jokers. After the wedding, while my husband drove us to our honeymoon suite, I reached for a pillow in the car to rest my head. It felt lumpy. I unzipped the case and found, wrapped in wedding paper, the yellow shirt. Inside a pocket was a note: "Read John 14:27-29. I love you both, Mother."

That night I paged through the Bible in a hotel room and found the verses: "I am leaving you with a gift: peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give isn't fragile like the peace the world gives. So don't be troubled or afraid. Remember what I told you: I am going away, but I will come back to you again. If you really love me, you will be very happy for me, for now I can go to the Father, who is greater than I am. I have told you these things before they happen so that when they do, you will believe in me."

The shirt was Mother's final gift. She had known for three months that

she had terminal Lou Gehrig's disease. Mother died the following year at age 57.

I was tempted to send the yellow shirt with her to her grave. But I'm glad I didn't, because it is a vivid reminder of the love-filled game she and I played for 16 years. Besides, my older daughter is in college now, majoring in art. And every art student needs a baggy yellow shirt with big pockets.




You have 6 minutes....




There's some mighty fine advice in these words, even if you're not superstitious. This Lotus Totus has been sent To you for good luck from the Anthony Robbins organization. It has been sent around the world ten times so Far. You will receive good luck within four days of relaying this Lotus Totus.

Do not keep this message. The Lotus Totus must leave your hands in 6 MINUTES.

Otherwise you will get a very unpleasant surprise. This is true, even if you are not

superstitious, agnostic, or otherwise faith impaired.


first off, I find 'faith impaired' to be offensive. also I didn't see all that much advice. and what the hell is a Lotus Totus?

My Space is here: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fu ... d=69026911
daftbeaker wrote:But if I stop bugging you I'll have to go back to arguing with Qwerty about whether beauty is truth and precisely what we both mean by 'purple' :moon:


Any statistical increase in the usage of the :idiot: emoticon since becoming Admin should not be considered significant, meaningful, or otherwise cause for worry.
User avatar
Qwertyuiopasd
Admirable Admiral Qwerty
 
Posts: 14349
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2005 5:38 pm
Location: Northern Virginia

Postby haxmasta on Sun Aug 06, 2006 4:05 pm

I actually tried googling 'Lotus Totus' and it only came up with more crappy chain mail letters :?

I would agree, that letter did absolutely nothing to give me advice, improve my faith in god (if I had any left :twisted: ), or make me feel guilty/happy/sad enough to send it on to someone else. Personally, if I were to send that on to family/friends, they would think I'm reading-impaired and the only reason I sent it to them was because I could only read "FORWARD ME". Need less to say, I'd be embarressed to send that letter, not because it has a couple references to the bible, but BECAUSE IT STUNK LIKE MY DOGS PILE O'CRAP. :D

I was thinking before I read it "Maybe I could re-write it to be more in His noodly ideals" then after I got done with reading it, well, you know how I feel about it now.
"If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts."
Albert Einstein (dead)

RAmen.


Image
User avatar
haxmasta
Gnocchetti Galley Slave
 
Posts: 63
Joined: Wed Jul 26, 2006 3:20 am
Location: SOCAL

Postby Qwertyuiopasd on Sun Aug 06, 2006 5:11 pm

yeah, I don't think it'd be an easy endevour to knit, sow, or otherwise generate a sweater for the noodly one.
daftbeaker wrote:But if I stop bugging you I'll have to go back to arguing with Qwerty about whether beauty is truth and precisely what we both mean by 'purple' :moon:


Any statistical increase in the usage of the :idiot: emoticon since becoming Admin should not be considered significant, meaningful, or otherwise cause for worry.
User avatar
Qwertyuiopasd
Admirable Admiral Qwerty
 
Posts: 14349
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2005 5:38 pm
Location: Northern Virginia

Postby haxmasta on Sun Aug 06, 2006 6:31 pm

lol, why would we want some crappy ol'sweater when we have pirate regalia? :fsm_yarr:
"If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts."
Albert Einstein (dead)

RAmen.


Image
User avatar
haxmasta
Gnocchetti Galley Slave
 
Posts: 63
Joined: Wed Jul 26, 2006 3:20 am
Location: SOCAL

Postby FireFox on Sun Aug 06, 2006 10:42 pm

Qwertyuiopasd wrote:
Otherwise you will get a very unpleasant surprise. This is true, even if you are not superstitious, agnostic, or otherwise faith impaired.


first off, I find 'faith impaired' to be offensive.

I just find it entertaining contrasting the first one 'not superstitious' to the second two (no defined god/s, or in this context not Chrisitan). so are they implying that you have to be superstitious have faith?

S
FireFox
Stele Second Mate
 
Posts: 401
Joined: Mon Aug 08, 2005 6:32 am
Location: Wellington, New Zealand

Postby haxmasta on Sun Aug 06, 2006 11:29 pm

Yeah, that intrigued me too, because the "bible" that they're describing has, I think, 5 different religions that could interpret that as their own religion's bible! :twisted:
"If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts."
Albert Einstein (dead)

RAmen.


Image
User avatar
haxmasta
Gnocchetti Galley Slave
 
Posts: 63
Joined: Wed Jul 26, 2006 3:20 am
Location: SOCAL

Postby Captain Noobhead on Thu Aug 24, 2006 11:57 pm

Actually, we might be able to utilise the myspace bulletin system to our advantage. For example, I've been sending out "bulletin services" every friday to spread the word. :)
User avatar
Captain Noobhead
Cavatappi Cabin Boy
 
Posts: 74
Joined: Sun Mar 26, 2006 2:13 am
Location: Columbia, Missouri

Next

Return to All Things FSM

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest