FSMtening (pastafarian Christening)

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FSMtening (pastafarian Christening)

Postby VinZ on Thu Sep 23, 2010 7:24 am

With my first newborn son just arrived, I was wondering which ritual to perform on him so that he will be part of the Pastafarian community. I filled out 'Pastafarian' as my religion on the take-in sheet of the hospital, but the staff was not aware of the according ritual, nor am I.

I was thinking of doing a Christening-type of thing, but using tepid water (body temperature) in which ramen has been cooked instead of the ice cold water with rotten smell as they use in churches.

I am a firm believer in sticking to the letter of Scripture as i do not dare to twist the word of the FSM. Therefor I do not wish to interpret our religion, nor blend elements in from the christian sect.

I found very little or no scripture on the subject, so I hope by doing the Ramen water ritual I am not turning him into a child of Darkness.

Advice most welcome


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Re: FSMtening (pastafarian Christening)

Postby Qwertyuiopasd on Thu Sep 23, 2010 9:03 am

I will consult the Loose Canon for any relevant passages, though I don't believe there is anything specifically on the induction of infants to the faith.

I can, however, direct you to the "Flimsy Moral Standards." Whatever you do, the FSM will probably be chill with (short of something harmful or abusive). Extra points if you make him laugh. :wink:

In fact, since it does seem to be missing from our scripture, perhaps you could record the events, and we can canonize it for the second edition of he Loose Canon?
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Re: FSMtening (pastafarian Christening)

Postby PKMKII on Thu Sep 23, 2010 9:08 am

VinZ wrote:I was thinking of doing a Christening-type of thing, but using tepid water (body temperature) in which ramen has been cooked instead of the ice cold water with rotten smell as they use in churches.


Oooh, and then put some pancetta, pecorino romano, and a couple beaten eggs on him. Mmmmmm, baby carbonara... :idiot:
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Re: FSMtening (pastafarian Christening)

Postby Almighty Doer of Stuff on Thu Sep 23, 2010 10:56 am

I must make one request, however. If you must FSMize your child, regardless of how you do it, be sure to emphasize that it's 100% revokeable by the child at any point in his life, should he choose not to associate with our church.

One thing that bothers a lot of atheists who were formerly Catholic is that, because they were baptized, they are considered to be permanently part of the Catholic church for life, whether they want to be or not, and you have to jump through hoops to be excommunicated to get out of it. I suggest you don't make it so binding.

Just my two cents. Congratulations to you for bringing a brand new child into the world, and congratulations to the child for successfully being born, into a Pastafarian family no less!
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Re: FSMtening (pastafarian Christening)

Postby Roy Hunter on Thu Sep 23, 2010 4:04 pm

Christenings can be revoked with a hairdryer. If you're sprinkled with holy water to baptise you into the faith, you can be symbolically dried off again with the holy hairdryer to un-baptise you. I wouldn't worry about it too much.
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