How I was saved by the FSM

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How I was saved by the FSM

Postby The Sparrow on Mon Mar 09, 2009 12:26 pm

I Sent this to Bobbie, but he didn't put it on the main site, so I'll write it here, instead.

I am a soldier in the Israeli army. During my basic training, I marked all of my equipment (helmet, sleeping bag, coat, kit bag, etc.) with the FSM sign. One day, during a workout, we had to rush back to our rooms, and I accidentally left my coat outside. When I came back for it, it was gone.

It was a time of distress for me, for I knew that if I would not find my coat within a week, I will be tried for losing military equipment. But, since I am a devout pastafarian, I knew his noodlyness would help me. And he did. A few days later, a friend told me he saw another soldier wearing my FSM-marked coat. Using this information, I was able to locate that soldier and retrieve my lost coat, all thanks to our noodly master. Not only that, but the FSM saved me yet again, when our company sergeant major decided to give me a water bottle instead of trying me for one I've lost.

Praised be the FSM! :worship: :fsm_float:

Image

RAmen.
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Re: How I was saved by the FSM

Postby Ubi Dubius on Mon Mar 09, 2009 3:53 pm

Praise be to the FSM, The Sparrow! Glad you retrieved your gear.

From a fellow Army Veteran. Different Army though.

You are tried for losing equipment? In the US Army, we can be, but we have the option of paying a fine equal to its value first.
Davros, Attorney and Pieces of Law
Keeping up appearances is a very important activity in religion; in fact, maintaining tattered illusions is its main activity. - Richard Wade, on Friendlyatheist.com
We make an idol of our fear and call it God. -Ingmar Bergman, The Seventh Seal
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Re: How I was saved by the FSM

Postby The Sparrow on Tue Mar 10, 2009 3:09 pm

Ubi Dubius wrote:Praise be to the FSM, The Sparrow! Glad you retrieved your gear.

From a fellow Army Veteran. Different Army though.

You are tried for losing equipment? In the US Army, we can be, but we have the option of paying a fine equal to its value first.


Well, I've never experienced it, but from what I understand,if you get tried, you will probably be sentenced to pay a fine (although they almost always exaggerate and charge you more than the real value of what you've lost).
O FSM, ooh, You are so big, So absolutely huge. Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell You. Forgive us, O FSM, for this, our dreadful toadying, and barefaced flattery, but you are so strong and, well, just so super fantastic.
Ramen.
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Re: How I was saved by the FSM

Postby bodaciouswench on Tue Apr 28, 2009 1:19 am

thank his noodliness that he brought your gear back. gosh, when i was in the service, we would get in trouble if we marked our gear with an emblem like :fsm:

religious bigotry is everywhere it seems....but fear not, i never lost touch with my inner wench....may his string like appendages stroke and keep your inner pirate safe.

pasta on....
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Re: How I was saved by the FSM

Postby pir8lvr on Tue May 26, 2009 3:22 pm

thank FSM for the symbol.
just got this account :)

recent convert to Pastafarianism!
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