Church views on marriage among non-twirlers?

[Grumbleputty]

Many of us who twirl our spaghetti (in a righteous manner) have been alarmed by the growing strength of the "cutter agenda". Those who would slice their spaghetti into pieces have even gone so far as to assert their right to marry one another.

Clearly, if we allow spaghetti cutters, slicers, dicers and/or choppers the same rights as twirlers, the very institution of marriage may be irreparably weakened! Personally, I quite like my wife, and would hate to see my marriage destroyed by a bunch of knife-wielding pasta puree-ers!

Does the church have an official stance on allowing non-twirlers to marry? Should we be working towards an amendment to the constitution to bar the practice? Or can a compromise be reached, where cutters are allowed to enter into some sort of "civil unions", without actually gaining the full benefits of marriage?

I pray for the blessing of starchy enlightenment.

[Cardinal Fang]

3rd I'd Really Rather You Didn't:

3. I’d really rather you didn’t judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, Okay?

I think this applies to twirlers and non-twirlers as well. I read this IRRYD as saying this: no descrimination - at all - ever.

Besides, as Pastafarians don't believe in transubstantiation, a plate of spaghetti is just that - a plate of spaghetti. Therefore it doesn't matter how you eat it, just that you enjoy it.

CF
(of the third type of pasta eater - slurper!)

[Grumbleputty]

Thank you, Cardinal fang, for the gift of enlightenment!

[Robbobrob]

Plus, if you can twirl a shell, or an elbow, or a bowtie, then you might be onto something....pasta comes in all shapes, colors and sizes, as do people. To look down upon any one type is to lose the diversity that makes eating with (diverse) friends so much fun.

[PirateFishWorshipper]

You might be onto something. Maybe not.