NEW FSM REVELATION!!!!

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NEW FSM REVELATION!!!!

Postby Manoverboard on Mon Dec 15, 2008 4:05 pm

I would like to share some divine knowledge about the FSM. This may change the course of the church forever! As the FSM’s oracle, I have a revelation to disseminate to all loyal followers. Firstly, I’d like to invoke the Holy Name of our Savior. FSM. There, I just invoked it.

Recently, while in a stupor, an important truth about the FSM was revealed to me. And it’s the following: The FSM is gay. I know what you’re thinking, how can a deity made of carbs be gay? I asked Him the same thing, and in response he basically just pimp-slapped me (it didn’t hurt, though).

But He told me He’s tired of reading news reports about gays being bashed by followers of Jeebus.

More divine knowledge will be revealed to me soon by a Holy Chippendale.
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Re: NEW FSM REVELATION!!!!

Postby thelastpirate on Mon Dec 15, 2008 4:29 pm

False prophet.

Burn him.
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Re: NEW FSM REVELATION!!!!

Postby Cardinal Fang on Mon Dec 15, 2008 5:39 pm

7th I'd Really Rather You Didn't:

I'd really rather you didn't go around telling people I talk to you. You're not that interesting. Get over yourself. And I told you to love your fellow man, can't you take a hint?


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Re: NEW FSM REVELATION!!!!

Postby Scott the Pirate on Mon Dec 15, 2008 6:50 pm

Clearly a false prophet....let's not burn him though. The X-tians already did that one. HMMMMM.....perhaps just a thorough mocking?

Although the FSM clearly states that male pirates who are into other male pirates can still "get thee a wench", neither He nor the Gospel ever says that HE is gay.
Roy Hunter wrote:Then, when you've got to know them a bit and their defences are down, you go all Scott the Pirate on them...
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Re: NEW FSM REVELATION!!!!

Postby Robbobrob on Tue Dec 16, 2008 11:49 am

The concept that the FSM has any sexual orientation at all is odd all in itself. It is not an animal......it is a divine food.

I also call into question the OP calling the FSM a "savior"....savory, yes, savior, no.
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Re: NEW FSM REVELATION!!!!

Postby Scott the Pirate on Tue Dec 16, 2008 10:45 pm

Savory with fresh marinara, none of that crap from a can.
Roy Hunter wrote:Then, when you've got to know them a bit and their defences are down, you go all Scott the Pirate on them...
:lech:
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Re: NEW FSM REVELATION!!!!

Postby seabee on Sun Dec 21, 2008 10:00 am

Robbobrob wrote:I also call into question the OP calling the FSM a "savior"....savory, yes, savior, no.


The notion of sin and of a savior doesn't really exist in FSMism, does it?
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Re: NEW FSM REVELATION!!!!

Postby PirateFishWorshipper on Thu Jan 08, 2009 6:31 pm

Seriously, you are not an oracle. Sorry about that. :roll:
There are a lot of judgemental people in the world, and personally I think that those people are absolute scumballs.
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Re: NEW FSM REVELATION!!!!

Postby Almighty Doer of Stuff on Thu Jan 08, 2009 9:28 pm

seabee wrote:
Robbobrob wrote:I also call into question the OP calling the FSM a "savior"....savory, yes, savior, no.


The notion of sin and of a savior doesn't really exist in FSMism, does it?


No, thank FSM. We have a hell for people who are egregious jerks, but ours at least can be gotten out of if you stop being a jerk, and is only unpleasant enough to get your average jerk to eventually decide it's not worth being a jerk, rather than torturous. It has stale beer and ugly, diseased strippers.
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Re: NEW FSM REVELATION!!!!

Postby Scott the Pirate on Fri Jan 09, 2009 2:27 pm

I said this in another thread, but i always figured that pastafarian hell would be much like pastafarian heaven, except that the beer would be warm, the strippers would be cold and both would be flat.
Roy Hunter wrote:Then, when you've got to know them a bit and their defences are down, you go all Scott the Pirate on them...
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