“My friend and I noticed your plea for endorsements from individuals who share both an academic background and faith in the FSM. I’m an academic, but not a scientist, while he is a scientist, but not an academic. We both, however, feel strongly that denying children an education regarding what we know to be the true, noodly nature of the universe is a travesty of human progress. It is apparent to my friend that, from a scientific perspective, no other explanation of existence is conceivable. And he converted to FSMism from atheism. It is apparent to me, as an educator, that to not teach this truth alongside other “theories” of our universe’s creation will cause irreparable harm to our children, escalating to the point at which an entire generation will be ignorant to the noodly appendage operating all around them, inevitably plunging the world and all those upon it into a new dark age. Thank you, Bobby Henderson, for offering an alternative to that horrible fate to which the Kansas State Board of Education would subject our society. Thank you, Bobby Henderson, for saving the world.”
– Matthew L. Scully, aerospace engineer
– Daniel M. Gallagher, M.A., educator
“If intelligent design (ID) is based on science, not faith, then it should fulfill the same criteria as any other scientific theory. One of the most important of these is Occam’s Razor, the principle that the best explanation for a given phenomenon is the one which is simplest, or to put it another way, raises the least new questions. Most ID theories fail the test of Occam’s Razor, because they do not define what entity is doing the designing, or they imply that some sort of god is responsible, which raises the question of whether this god actually exists. However, Flying Spaghetti Monsterism explains clearly who the intelligent designer is, and furthermore, unlike the case for god, there is ample experimental proof that spaghetti does actually exist. I therefore recommend that if ID is to be taught in schools, it should be made clear to students that FSM is by far the most plausible of the many competing ID theories. RAmen.“
– S. Bilson-Thompson, PhD (Australia)
“I applaud Mr. Henderson for finally coming forward with a public acknowledgement of our fine religion. Many of you doubt our sincerity and legitimacy and many of you are often unaware of your inadvertant worship. Our most reverend of hymns, “On Top of Spaghetti” is ritualistucally sung by over 75% of the youth of America. Most of these children willingly take of the sacraments of spaghettios. Look into their eyes and you will see the truth. Many have been turned from the true way but He is willing to bring them back into His noodly embrace. As a Doctrate of Comparative Religions, I find it appauling that a small-minded minority is promoting their theories over older more proven scientific principals. May He forgive you for your insolance.“
– Gwendolynn Sue Daniels, PhD.
“As an orientalist trained in anthropology, I can assure you that the Flying Spaghetti Monster-theory is by no means ridiculous. It is, in fact, as solid as Genesis, the Aztec legends or Far Eastern stories about the creation of the world, and it is not more absurd.
It’s important that this’ll be included in the upcoming new school curriculum - the Flying Spaghetti Monster theory could well incite people to think about the discrepancies of other models. I am surprised people can even think of advocating ID - how will we raise the next generations’ scientists without any basical knowledge of facts and theories? Your demand to include the Flying Spaghetti Monster in school curricula is reasonable, not insulting and completely legitimate. FSM-ism would do no harm, and be a tasty alternative for fanatic Christianism.“
– Simon Harrison Chen, Lic. (London, UK)
“Thank you for enlightening the world about the true creator of the universe and everything in it. As a person with a doctorate in Molecular Biophysics and Biochemistry from Yale University (1974) and, thus, a better than average understanding of evolution and Darwinism, I would like to endorse, wholeheartedly, your efforts to get schools to include the REAL truth about ID and about the intelligent designer, none other than the FSM, when they teach ID in their science classes. RAMEN, “
–Ann M. Körner Ph.D.
“I am not only a Ph.D. holder and mathematics professor, but also a practicing Hindu, long time Christian, devotee of FSM, and wine connoiseur, but also a part - time crab pot pirate practicing off Vashon Island, WA., primarily in July.
I can attest that since I have begun my work there the mean temperature has declined most pleasantly.”
–Roy Smith Ph.D
“As a biodiversity researcher, it has long been clear to me that there must have been something transcending mere variation, heritability, time and differential survival behind all these different sorts of animals and plants - why this ridiculous redundancy? But your revelation of a noodly appendage guiding all things has supplied the missing recipe for truly understanding this interwoven chaos of diversity. What could be plainer, once one has gazed on one of His manifestations, gilded with ground Parmesan, bathed in the blood of tomatoes, hallowed with the incense of basil and oregano, than the conclusion that only a transcendent being such as He could have conceived of the profoundly tangled connections that are revealed by researches into ecology and evolution. A personal relationship with Pasta should not be an option - it should be mandated, and be available on special Friday and Saturday nights.“ –Dr Mark Hutchinson (Adelaide, South Australia)
“As geneticist, my personal belief in the creator of everything was so far, that he resembles a pink invisible flying rabbit circling the earth just opposite the sun, and soundlessly squeaking “42″. In consequence, this creature is undetectable even by the most advanced human techniques. Furthermore, the ability of being pink and invisible at the same time provides proof for real allmightyness. However, Pastafarianism seems to be much more substantiated, and is not violating Occam’s razor (see comment of S. Bilson-Thompson), and follows pure philosophical logic, as colleague Brian D. Rabern has pointed out previously. Therefore, I am sure that the members of the Kansas Board of Education, who gave logic a particular importance, will honor these undisputable facts by including FSM in their curriculum, thereby setting highest educational standards also for non-US countries. - Additionally, the invisible pink rabbit hypothesis might be discussed if there could be some time spared in the pupil’s schedule. RAmen “ –Jobst Meyer, PhD, Professor of Behavioral Genetics
“Just to add my endorsement of Pastafarianism as a nutritious and delicious alternative to ID and other forms of creationism. While I myself would prefer to keep all such religious views out of the classroom, if I am forced to teach one as an alternative to evolution, I will certainly choose Pastafarianism.“
–Gerard S. Harbison, Professor of Chemistry, UNL, Lincoln, Nebraska
“If intelligent design (one of my favourite oxymorons after military intelligence and friendly fire) is to be taught in biology lessons, then such crossover of subjects should be expanded! Haiku should be taught in motor mechanics, the making of dovetail joints should be taught in mathematics and cell structure and function in French classes. All of this is as equally logical as the teaching of things written down in a book by Middle Eastern asylum seekers in North Africa thousands of years ago in Biology.
Until today when I read your site I was an unworthy atheist who believed in nothing but reason and evidence based theory but now I understand that this was now just part of the FSM’s plan for me! I now pledge my research from this day hence to understanding the deeper mysteries of the FSM’s creation.“
– Siôn R.Wall PhD, Cardiff, Wales
“The first bottle of Lambrusco I chugged in High School some 30 years ago washed my full immersion baptism into the Baptist faith away. The second bottle I chugged that night resulted in a pasta “vision” that, sadly, I was too blind and covered in noodles to understand. Now, after a long career as a Biologist and educator, I see the light. If you form a curriculum committee, keep me in mind.”
– Jeff Young, Ph.D.
“As a regular contributor to the scientific literature in the area of Industrial and Organizational Psychology and Associate Editor of one of the top 10 journals in the field, it seems that many of the most important contributions to science involve unification of seemingly discrepant theoretical positions and bodies of data into larger, more unified “Big Picture†theories. We have witnessed this kind of scientific progress in physics for decades and now we are faced with similar promising prospects of an integrative perspective that links biology, metaphysics, and the culinary arts into one overarching theory of how everything got to be the way it is. The theory of evolution (the biological contribution) is a widely accepted and scientifically grounded explanation of the Earth’s current biodiversity, yet it falls short of an explanation of how everything got started in the first place. Intelligent Design (ID, the metaphysical contribution) argues convincingly that things are just too complicated for things to have started themselves and effectively argues that, therefore, there must have been a designer. Unfortunately, ID falls sadly short of identifying the designer him- or herself. The Theory of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism (the Pastafarian contribution from the culinary arts) presents a very convincing and parsimonious account of the identity and nature of the Intelligent Designer himself and, I think, creates an exciting potential for a Unified Theory of It All. Needless to say, any public school curriculum would be negligently incomplete and shamelessly biased if it did not present a fair and balanced treatment of the three intellectual pillars represented by Evolution, Intelligent Design, and Flying Spaghetti Monsterism.”
– Charles E. Lance, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology
“I wish to thank you for opening my eyes (and for making my mouth water). I have already referred to our leader the FSM in both my classes this quarter–Theories of Crime and Deviance & Capital Punishment–as the role of religion (not the roll of garlic) is paramount in explaining crime and punishment. I look forward to further developments in the liturgy in time for my Law & Society course (not the antipasto course). I wish to alert you to today’s class discussion, we we briefly considered both the FSM and yesterday’s article in the Journal of Religion and Society. There appears to be a strong direct correlation between a nation’s belief in “A Creator” and very high levels of social pathologies. Either belief in a creator is dangerous to a society’s health, or we have just been following false creators. Therefore, it is even more crucial to teach Pastafarianism along w/ ID. The ramifications reach all the way to the Social Problem of Order, not just the elimination of doctors from Kansas, Dover PA, & Cobb County GA.”
–Tom Durkin, PhD
“As a life-long subscriber to the scientific method, I find myself astonished at your succinctly unifying theory of the origins of matter and life in the Universe. I find myself unable to express the depths of my admiration and beg to offer you my accolades for your unequaled contribution to the field of general knowledge. That which eluded the greatest minds of humanity, the grand unifying theory of _everything_, is now laid bare for all to acknowledge; its brilliant simplicity far surpassing the inelegance of the Standard Model, the tacked-on nature of the Cosmological Constant, the inobsevability of M-branes and the obviousness of Quantum Gravity. It is perfectly derivable that the FSM is the duality of, on one hand, the driving force behind the imaginary-to-real temporal transition (falsely referred to as the Big Bang), and on the other hand, the impetus behind the universal entropy reduction (falsely referred to as Evolution).
It is my sincere hope however, that you may acknowledge that the images of Him, are mere projections onto our consciousness of the rapturous and divine cross-dimensional entity that He must represent. It is highly unlikely, and strikes this writer as somewhat jejune that His true image would be not dissimilar to that of a $5.95 lunch special at Belinda’s.
Thank you for restoring one man’s faith in science, organized religion and the general superiority of the Italian cuisine in a single afternoon.”
– Dmitry Kaplan, PhD
“I am a university researcher and lecturer in Sweden, which is a frighteningly secularised society. The need for the restoration of faith is particularly acute here. Amongst the religious minority, many cling to the exultant euphoria and collective catharses of pentacostal ritual. This fulfils a important need in this country’s emotionally and socially inhibited society. Many others uphold the imported religions of their immigrant backgrounds, which adds welcome variation to the palette of human beliefs and dogma. In Sweden there are strong inverse statistical correlations between drug abuse, youth delinquency and crime when plotted against the number of church goers. It is common for students to point out what to them are an obvious causal effects when presented with such data. I find myself standing before a clawing need for a faith based, postconstructive curriculum as an alternative to the secular and scientific programmes that totally dominate this countries universities.
The Kansas School Board’s embracing of the intelligent design constitutes a step into the abyss of rhetorical fallacy, a step that I believe would be embraced by a the majority of pupils if impressed upon them in a sufficiently charismatic and ebullient fashion. It seems to me though that the board have overestimated the abilities of science teachers to dupe and cajole pupils into accepting the content of their curriculum, and that intelligent design would more efficiently be forced on innocent minds through the use of professional sales personal, spin doctors, Hollywood writers, politicians or priests.
I myself have looked into a number of belief systems in an attempt to find a candidate for fulfilling students’ clawing need for simple answers that explain the complexity of the world. I find none as delightfully absurd and blatantly simplistic as Pastafarianism. It is clear that this is what I shall be teaching my students when they draw simplistic, uncritical, fact denying, authoritarian, dogmatic, or contradictory conclusions from incomplete knowledge. Pastafarianism beautifully illustrates how easily and arbitrarily specious truth can be constructed and it is the perfect complement to the stolid scientific approach.
Until such time as a new era of human enlightenment under a new prophet transfixes my attention, Pastafarianism will become a lecture hall word — a word through which I can offer those clawing students the sense of security and faith in the ridiculous that they need in order to revert to the path of rationality, uncertainty and the systematic search for truth.
To this end, there is also a place in the scientific curriculum for intelligent design, it’s just that Pastafarianism fulfils that role so much better.”
–Guy Davies Ph.D. Computer Science. Royal Institute of Technology
My motto will be “Pirates against global warming”
“Registered Nurses are trained to be respectful and supportive of their patients’ various cultural and religious beliefs and practices. In my practice, I care for the elderly, typically in the few remaining days of their lives. I have seen, first hand, everything from Voodoo death rituals to the classic Catholic prayer hoping for a miracle. I may well offend ALL faiths, but let me speak of religious diversity and miracles.
I know this is not scientific, but I can conclude, based upon massive first hand anecdotal evidence, that these many religions and faiths, despite their seemingly different dogmas, all worship the same God. If all of humanity could see my patients fully exercising their faiths as I have, it would lead them to that same conclusion, even though it is only based on “wimpy” anecdotal evidence, and not on a double-blind clinical trial that would satisfy scientific rigor. On the topic of miracles, any soccer mom who had to feed the whole team will tell you, Jesus could not have fed the masses with a single fish. It makes more sense that he accomplished that miracle with a giant, steaming bowl of spaghetti. I’ll bet if we examine other miracles, we will often find a noodly appendage invoking His influence.
So, I wholeheartedly support the concept of equal time for all divine theories in the classroom, especially FSMism. If we, as a species, could finally realize that all forms of God are one and the same God, perhaps religious wars would end, and we could truly love one another as most religions indicate. Your demand for equal presentation of FSMism in schools appears, on the surface, to be self serving for Pastafarians. However, you are really helping mankind in ways you may not be aware of.
Andrew D Pohlman, RN“










First of all, having a PhD in imagination does not count for a thing. Finding it in a Cracker Jack box or buying it at Walmart does not amount to a hill of beans. You can have the entire alphabet behind your name and still be an idiot. And most who do are.
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Second of all, if anyone on this site has a shred of intelligence, I want you to provide an answer to this problem. Scientists have not been able to give an answer for it, because the only plausible answer “is unthinkable.” Here it is:
The nucleus has properties that force outward - they expel, or push out - so how is it that everything is held together?
@rylore
You’ve convinced me. Why didn’t I see it all along?
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Because the nucleus expels, the USA as a nation should teach religion in public school science classrooms.
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That was easy.
@Rylore - It’s called the cell membrain you twat! If your going to try using science against us use real science. You just asked the equivalnt of why the water dosen’t fall out of and upright glass. Because the glass is in the way! Or are you under the impression that god holds the water in place for you?
Rylore,
All I can say is this ; “you urgently need a new brain” :)
@Rylore
While I think Pluto misunderstood you (I believe you were referring to the nucleus of an atom, rather than a cell), that little “point” you made proves absolutely nothing. Frankly, it doesn’t really matter; but presumably, there is another force that keeps things in place. Second of all, the fact that you seem to believe whole-heartedly, beyond any doubt, in anything concerning something you have absolutely no way of proving, only shows your lack of intelligence, rather than that of anyone else. You sir (or ma’am) are blinded by your beliefs, accepting only one possibility, not that there could be other explanations.
Any form of faith requires that we always question things, otherwise we can never see through the lies we are told, and see corruption for what it is. Sadly, many people of “faith” don’t see the need to question anything, for they’ve already found their absolute, unquestionable salvation.
Attitudes like this are what leads to great atrocities, such as the crusades, inquisitions, terrorism, and wars in general. The fact that anyone gets all of their beliefs from a book written by men, mostly politicians, is the reason the world is in the sorry state that it is in. It’s also the reason we’ve spent millennia making the same idiotic mistakes, which will inevitably lead to the end of humanity as a whole. People need to wake up, and think for themselves.
Pastafarianism does a grand job of pointing out the idiotic tendencies of many religions, and humanity as a whole. For that, you guys have my support; Whether that means anything or not at this point, remains to be seen.
@Rylore
If you mean a cell, then what you are referring to is a cell wall. If you mean an atom then what you are referring to is the attraction of repulsion of substances to or away from each other (look up nucleophile and electrophile). However I suspect since you made what is obviously an uninformed analogy that if I explained it to you in simple language, you still wouldn’t get it. I suspect the concept of magnetism would be too hard for you and you’d have to attribute it to a higher power, instead of the mechanisms that actually cause it to function.
@Rylore
If you meant “atom”: the phenomenon you are talking about are called the strong and weak nuclear forces. Put very simply, the electromagnetic forces of pluses (+) and minuses (-) are known to attract opposites and repel like charges - over “large” distances. But when particles get really really close, the strong nuclear force takes over and will “glue” similar charges together. That’s how two or more protons (+) can clump together and occupy the nucleus of an atom. The strong force only works over very short range, giving the appearance of being enigmatic, maybe even magical.
The same class of humanoid who figured out the earth is round solved this conundrum somewhere back in the 1920-30s.
If you meant “cell”: ells have active process that consume energy. The one you are talking about is called “active transport”, which defies passive phenomena like difussion, and burns ATP in the process. This, too, was figured out a long time ago by large brained mammals devoid of prehensile tail.
@Rylore
All nucleons (protons and neutrons) are attracted to each other through the Strong nuclear force. All particles of similar charge (a group of protons) are repelled by the Electromagnetic force (that you reference).The Strong force is stronger than the Electromagnetic force. The neutrons hold the nucleus together but you can’t just add more neutrons to make a nucleus stable because the neutron (two down quarks and up quark) would transform into a proton (two up quarks and a down quark), an electron, and an anti electron neutrino without the protons stabilizing it through the Weakly interacting nuclear force. If the nucleus is disturbed in the right way (say bombardment by a neutron moving at very high speeds) the balance is upset and the Strong force bonds between the nucleons are broken causing the Electromagnetic potential energy between the protons (along with the energy in the Strong bonds) to be transformed into kinetic, heat, and radiative energy.
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I’m surprised that somebody so confident in themselves about this didn’t pick that up that bit up in sophomore/junior (in high school) level chemistry/physics (or Wikipedia, I mean, it’s right there!). I suggest that anybody unfamiliar with the basics of my last post should look up the Wikipedia article on “atomic nucleus” and follow the relevant links.
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P.S. I posted this a while ago, but it never showed up. Moral of the story: always save your posts in a word doc in case they don’t get past the moderator :).
Dear Bobby,
Pastafarianism is a delicious religion but I am troubled by its concept of heaven because what is in it seems to be directed at making human males happy (except for women who like beer). Could you please address this oversight? Did the FSM not provide for the happiness of women after death? Is this an intentional slight or do you believe that there are aspects of heaven that would make women as happy as men and which have yet to be discovered?
Of course, I misspoke. The large distance force is called the “electromagnetic force” or the “Coulomb force”. And the short distance force (across only 2 femptometers) is called the “nuclear force”. But the terminology has been modified over the years. The concept is the same: nuclear contents can share a common charge, most likey positive or neutral. Bunching of electrons (negative charge) are more complex and rely upon energy levels, spin state, and the sublevel of orbital, which hold varying amounts of electrons. I’d rather think about cramming neutrons and protons together in an atom’s nucleus. Somehow, it seems easier than thinking about electrons, which seem to me to be undisciplined despite thier quantum nature.
Any physics dude want to clarify ?
There are lots of things scientists have not provided answers for, and the reason is they either didn’t bother to ask it, or no evidence exists that permit them to answer it. Of course, religion has all the answers but no evidence.
One time I saw my neighbors two mentally retarded kids with their pants down trying to hump the chained up dog. It was running around and I was laughing and embarrassed for them at the same time. That is what Christians trying to use science to explain ID look like. I want to turn away but it is just so funny I cannot. Rylore, please just stick to the usual “God is Magical” shtick, you’re just embarrassing yourself.
@vivian Dec 11th, 2007 at 2:35 am
“Did the FSM not provide for the happiness of women after death?”
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Most of the wenches have decided that Pastafarian heaven will have both male and female strippers. It is a heaven after all…so we get whatever we want! Sounds good anyway ;p
@vivian – Actually there are male striper factories too! I think it’s very sexist of you to assume that men can’t pole dance as well as women! Also beer comes from Volcanoes in FSM heaven. You can get other drinks there but not from the volcanoes. I expect there to be a Bailey’s geyser there somewhere. Possibly a Dooley’s lake?
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@Iscariot – 2 retards trying to rape a dog? Interesting metaphor.
We use to have them doing the Full Monty in the refectory in collage in front of the juke box. Difference is they had careers to come take them away, the religious dicks like Rylore don’t have that luxury.
vivian
Dec 11th, 2007 at 2:35 am
Dear Bobby,
Pastafarianism is a delicious religion but I am troubled by its concept of heaven because what is in it seems to be directed at making human males happy (except for women who like beer). Could you please address this oversight? Did the FSM not provide for the happiness of women after death? Is this an intentional slight or do you believe that there are aspects of heaven that would make women as happy as men and which have yet to be discovered?
*
Vivian, there are loads of male strippers around too :) Plus the beer volcane is surrounded by sveral others providing you with a beverage of choice. If you can’t get what you want it wouldn’t be much of a heaven now would it?
1609!
Dear Respondents,
Thank you for your kind reassurances and information about heaven. Somehow, I just knew that the Noodly One, in all of His goodness and omniscence, would not forget to provide emotional and physical sustenance for the female of the species. Ramen.
Excuss me if I’m wrong about this, I don’t hold a degree in partical physics or anything, but I like to read. I was under the impression that there are 4 forces. Elecrtomagnetic force: which is what gives our earth its magnetic poles, Gravitational force: which attracts objects due to their mass (Einstien gives you a visual with a bowling ball on a trampoline bending time and space), weak nuclear force: which is the force that holds electrons around the nucleus of an atom, when energy is released chemically it is because electrons are moving to and from molecules, and finally strong nuclear force: which holds the nucleus of an atom together. Chemical energy is a manifestation of the weak nuclear force; for exampole a stick of dynimite, the explosion is the result of the energy being released as the chemicals oxidize. Nuclear energy, either fission or fusion, is a manifestation of the strong nuclear force, when the a nucleus is broken or two a bonded.
Again, this is my understanding of the 4 forces. I’m also aware that the energy in a nuclear bomb is due to matter being transformed into energy, but I know it has something to do with the amount of energy it takes to break the strong nuclear force. If there is something wrong with this, I will only be too happy to be corrected.
Scientist have a tough time telling you WHAT gravety is, they know how it works, but are a little stumped as the why it exists at all. The same thing with matter, as a Stephen Hawking or if he were still alive, Einstein why there is matter instead of not, they may have trouble answering it. This does not mean we automatically say that something must have made it. It is so natural for a person to assume that Something, someone created everything, but it is just an assumption, and it is very wrong. I admit science is ignorant of some of the basic facts of existance, but sciences ability to admit ignorance should be admired, not attacked.
@rylore
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The magnificent Pasta Sauce holds everything together!
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Ramen
The “scientific” answers here are clearly flawed. It really is quite simple.
The nucleus is held together by His Noodly Appendages. Did you not see the mention of the string theory? This is simply another example of his omnipresence and Supreme Noodliness.
RAmen.