Showing all posts for #Noodle Love
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A (Recovered, Historically Accurate) Tale of the FSM

Published July 6th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

The ship tossed around the open sea, as the pirate crew spun franticly.
“OH LORD, WHAT HAVE WE DONE TO UPSET THEE!?” They cried in utter misery.  But alas it was to late, the followers had met their fate.

Although all stressed, they would confess that they knew this mess, was their own fault.  If they wished to be caressed, by his noodlieness, then why did they do less than expected?

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They always dressed in pirate attire and blessed their meatballs before they chewed.
But the pirate’s mistakes were in their fates as soon as they entered the temple.
In the town of Noodliopia, the holiest utopia, where only Pastafarians roamed, was a lovely old man, his hair neatly combed, who was the meatball messiah.

In all of their greed the pirates agreed, that Noodliopia had much potential.
They schemed and gleamed as they cleaned their swords, ready to raid the temple.
Although in a rush, they came in a hush, not wanting to wake Captain Jones Eliah (the meatball messiah).

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Soon they had reached, the place they would breach and started to enter the temple.
But then out of nowhere, they heard a loud screech as if there was water boiling over.
They looked up to the sky as hot water rained down and the town was covered with meatballs.

The people ran out and Eliah did shout “Alas you ass, you have woken the lord!”
The Flying Spaghetti monster came down in a whirl and banished all of the pirates.
He sent them out far on a horrible quest to find the biggest octopus (It was never found).

Then Captain Eliah, the meatball messiah pleaded to thee “You have touched me with your noodly appendage, let you do so to our dwelling.  We need some protection and thou art our leader, so please save us now.”

The Lord was wise and did rise to muster his strength, and with all his great power, he lifted the tower, that was engraved with scriptures.

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He lifted the temple and the homes of the followers and moved them to a safe place.
Now Captain Eliah, the meatball messiah, and all of his most loyal companions, live somewhere safe, to carry the faith, of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

Rewritten (originally written thousands of years ago) by Sammy, (13 years old from California)

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Rebecca’s FSM Inspired Valedictorian Speech

Published July 2nd, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

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Seniors in my high school are allowed to paint a mural on the walls of the art room at the end of the year, and I chose the flying spaghetti monster. I also mentioned the flying spaghetti monster in my valedictorian speech. I’ll include it in the email. I hope the mural lives up to the image of his noodly appendages. 

Valedictorian Speech Below

Hi, everyone. Before we get our diplomas, I want to tell you all a short story. The story of an art project I did. At the end of the year, each senior in art is allowed the opportunity to preserve themselves in a mural on the walls of the art room. I decided I wanted to paint one. The only question was what would I paint? I considered pop culture references and inspirational flowery messages of hope, but ultimately, I decided on something I thought was strange enough to inspire interest and maybe a few people could look at it and see something uniquely for themselves. I chose the flying spaghetti monster. For those of you who don’t know, the flying spaghetti monster is the emblem of the “pastafarian” movement, which is a rather silly group that questions the validity of blind acceptance, instead promoting logic. I did not choose the flying spaghetti monster to make a political or religious statement. To me, the flying spaghetti monster represents an ideal I think is being undervalued in our society—the ability to laugh at things that are ridiculous, and more importantly, the value of being ridiculous and silly. A thing does not have to be serious in life to be important. I think that that’s something I never really understood before. The importance of being unapologetically ridiculous, the joy that humor can bring, the profundity of absurdity; it’s all so clear to me now. The outlandish can instill wonder and happiness. What better reason is there for art? And so I painted the flying spaghetti monster, hoping that someday, someone would find in it a muse of silliness for their own life, something to tell them to be novel and unafraid to take chances.

If I could offer you all one bit of guidance from my life to your own, whether you are going to work, college, or the military, it would be that when life gives you the chance to go on an adventure, always take it. It doesn’t have to be the literal road trip, or journey-through-the-jungle-kind of adventure. It just has to be something new. And it doesn’t always have to be a place. An adventure can be a job, or a class, or a person. Always remember to push yourselves out of your comfort zones. Most of my regrets from high school have been not going on an adventure because I was too afraid of failing. And I don’t think I’ve ever regretted an adventure either, even if it rains, which usually does happen. It’s taken me a long time to understand this, but living in the moment doesn’t have to be a bad thing. The realization that absolutely everyone dies and that this single day will mean very little in the larger scope of my life has allowed me to let go a bit. Relinquishing those fears that we bear as shields over our hearts is never easy, but well worth it, however uncomfortable it may be.

So, as we walk into a different stage in our lives, I encourage you all to improvise, to sample everything, to search until you find a dream, and fight until that dream is realized. Remember to search for wonder, and every now and again, let curiosity get the best of you, for it’s the only way to continue to grow, and always keep your heart and mind light. In the words of a great playwright and my favorite author, “Life is too important to be taken seriously.” Stay gold, everyone."

-Rebecca

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FSM Father’s Day Present

Published June 19th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

I have just received the best Father’s Day present ever! My 8 year old was so excited to give me my present! He’s been talking about it for days. "Daddy, you will love your Father’s Day present!" Well, he was right. The fact that he made this at school and it made his teacher say, "What the heck is that?", made me bust a gut. Here is the card he made and the paper weight for me to use on my desk at work(I’m a banker, so it should look completely odd on my desk. lol). Awesome. I’m a very proud dad…

-Jamie

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29 Comments

de-brainwashing

Published April 23rd, 2010 by user-submitted

Just a word of thanks to pastafarians who have contributed comments on the various hate mailers. All of these are helping enlighten me and, frankly, reverse the brainwashing that I still suffer (only very slightly — and diminishing every day) as someone raised in a catholic home. These comments are so clear, focused and logical that the religious case withers. I sincerely appreciate the time you’ve spent to take apart their hate mails piece-by-piece. Not that you are being altruistic; religion inspires such lapses of reason and simple logic in people (not to mention fomenting sheer venom) that the hate mails are quite enjoyable to behold and presumably to take apart. 

-Scott

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FSM on the Rachel Maddow Show

Published February 13th, 2009 by Bobby Henderson

Rachel Maddow talks about Darwin’s Birthday and the evolution – ID debate, and about the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster:

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Cisco endorses the Church

Published November 10th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

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We’ve seen large corporations adopting Pastafarianism. Next in line is Cisco. In this screenshot you can see that Cisco uses FSM in their CCNP Networking Academy curriculum.
Pasta be with you. RAmen.
-Clinton

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Berlin Pastafarians find publicity

Published August 25th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

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Pastafarian Dylan found this article published in the Berlin Kurier. Amazing!

Here’s a translation:

Spaghetti Monster, Have Mercy

Pastafarians celebrate their fun religion in pasta masses

Friedrichshain (place): They say that they believe in the power of the internet, beer and stripper factories and that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the Earth. Millions of Pastafarians worldwide worship their god. In Berlin and Brandenburg almost 500 young people perform a pilgrimage regularly to pasta masses.

The community in pirate costumes stand with a set expression in the living room, say a civil “Our Monster” open their mouth to receive spaghetti and beer from their priest. 10 minutes later the religious speech is over, the three youths hungrily eat bolognese in silence. A typical evening watching television begins. Have these lads got pasta on the brain?

Brother Spaghetti alias Rainer Weida (57) explains “we want to use our mostly public masses to criticise every form of religion.” In East German times the teacher complained already about the “misuse of faith by the Church to hold power”. His club modelled on that of spoof prophet Bobby Henderson, who campaigns in Kansas against the free churches, has 20 members in Berlin and in the whole of Germany 500,000. The goal “is to make sects and fanatics think through pasta.”

(Captions)

First the mass, then the evening meal. The community enjoys their favourite meal – two meatballs with spaghetti.

Priest Captain Nodus alias musician Wolf Weida (35) divides the spaghetti offering between the young people.

Top picture: the Monster.

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NIH supports FSM

Published July 14th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

I spotted the FSM on the main page of PubMed. For those non-scientists out there, this is basically an index/repository of all biological knowledge and medical research. It’s run by the National Institutes on Health (NIH).

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/sites/entrez/
-Horatio

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Where no Christians dare to go

Published May 3rd, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

Hi Bobby………I initially searched for ‘go where no Christians dare to go’ and your site came up. Very radical, original, spiritual and I think Jesus would like your individuality and lack of concern of what others think of you (especially cookie cutter Christians) Keep going the way very few others dare go. I like your zeal, your fervor and tenacious radical, rebellious spirit in which will be the channel of many accomplishments transpiring.
-Bridgette

[Thank you very much, Bridgette! Welcome to FSM, please stick around for a while. –bobby]

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40 Comments

Rolling Stone

Published April 26th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

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Rolling Stone has featured the Flying Spaghetti Monster in its latest issue – the one with Keith Richards and Mick Jagger on the cover – the April 17, 2008 issue, pictured to the right. Check out page 39.

RS has a huge circulation; who knows how many converts we gained. It’s cool to see the mainstream media picking up on the fastest growing religion in the world.

The article – Investigating Bush – is about Rep. Henry Waxman, Chairman of the Committee on Oversight and Government Reform. More or less, he’s the guy calling out the Bush Administration on their bullshit. I could not be more pleased that the FSM was included – I have a lot of respect for Rep. Waxman, as I imagine many Pastafarians do.

I’ve included a couple scans. Click to enlarge.

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The FSM is placed furthest to the left on the “with us – against us” scale. That is awesome.

This is the second time that the FSM has been featured in Rolling Stone. The first was in the November 3, 2005 issue. Hoobastank vocalist Doug Robb was wearing an FSM shirt. He also thanked the the FSM on their last album’s cover-art.

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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American.


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