Showing all posts for #Hate-Mail (and Concerned Criticism)

I am an avid fan of humor

Published November 9th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

Dear Bobby,

I am an avid fan of humor. I have been a supporter for over 25 years. I watch Comedy Central and BET every day. Let’s face it, humor makes me laugh. I recently acquired a pamphlet from your Spaghetti Monster Church, and being succeptible to being swayed by any cult/religion I blindly went to your website. Come to find out, it wasn’t a real church at all! Well, I guess I can let that slide, as after scrolling through your website I noticed a hint of satire.

But I gotta be honest, Robert, if this was an attempt at humor, you missed the mark like Stevie Wonder in a bow and arrow contest. No one can laugh looking at ugly people in halloween costumes. Did you really think that something like that could pass as laughable? If you are going to post a bunch of boring quips and pictures, there better be nudity. Lots of it, or you are missing the point of owning a website. If you are being sacreligious (which is too easy, if you ask me, sir), then you need to add some pizazz. But instead you throw in a stupid picture of spaghetti every now and then and expect a laugh. You either need to hire a Jew to add a punchline every now and again, or call it quits. Better yet, you can hire me for a nominal fee. I could take pictures of my dumps and email it to your website, if you think it helps.

Look, Bobby, you just aren’t funny. Looking at your website is like looking at a ginger person eat a chicken salad sandwich. It just makes you scruntch up your face. Sadly, humor wanted nothing to do with you. Your site is as funny as a Dane Cook standup, but I believe you actually like him, so I’m sure that one went over your head. Either learn how to make people laugh, or stop killing trees for pamphlets to make people go to your gay website.

I said good day, sir,

Hello my name is Christian which means servant of the Christ

Published November 8th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

Hello my name is Christian which means servant of the Christ. The LORD says that in the end, many false teachers will rise, darwin, muhammed and even your own bobby. I will not be swayed because i have met God. God warns that you cannot explain spiritual things to mortals because they don’t understand them. When you accept God, you are entered by the Holy Spirit of God Himself. That is why i cannot ever be convinced of your fruitless lies. I have personally seen the great power God commands. I will continue to log onto this site for a long time now. For if even one soul be saved while i am here, well in good deeds, none is greater. The LORD is my shield. I will never be convinced by words because words are not as powerful as actions. God has granted me great faith and understanding and as long as the earth endures i will fear no evil for God is with me. You will call me stupid and you will mock me, but unless you become as powerful as Holy Yahweh overnight, and then share a portion of that power with me so that i may never die, i will not be fooled. For the whole world will HATE you because of me-Jesus to His followers- I beg thee to end this, then you will see and and the Truth will shine like 1000 suns. May the Lord Jesus rule over God’s people forever Amen.

I am sorry you have been hurt by Christians

Published October 31st, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

I am sorry you have been hurt by Christians. It is obvious by your website. You can deny God all you want but he will not deny you. You can hate God but he loves you. You can say all you want that there is no God, but you can’t say I don’t exist just because you have never physically seen me either.

God himself stated in the Bible that HE is Spirit, does not have a physical body. That is why HE said himself do not create any images and worship it because we have no idea what God really looks like.

I was saddened by your website. I do not know your history and why you are so bitter and angry but I hope you would at least try to ask God if He is for real, then somehow show you He really does exist. God himself stated in the Old Testament to Moses who also said he wanted to see God, if Moses was to actually see God face to face, he (Moses) would die due to God’s holiness, BUT God did pass by, covered Moses eyes, then removed his hand so Moses can at least see God’s back. Even with that Moses face glowed from seeing God’s holiness.

Christianity requires faith of the unseen. The conviction comes to the heart.

If hope you are opened enough to at least consider what I am saying. Do not stereotype Christians. We are not all the same. We are not all condemning or judgemental. We are not all closed minded.


Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism

Published October 30th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

Dear dumb ass folowers of FSMism,

There have been a lot of weird things that i have seen in my life before, but this tops them all. Do you really believe that there is/was such a thing as a flying spaghetti monster? Seriously, how fucking old are you? I know there’s such a thing as freedom of speech and expression, but this kinda shit should be banned. Theres is only one God and one Holy Word. Why dont you people get that? How much sense does it make to say that decreasing numbers of pirates lead to an increase in average global temperature? Is that science or some fifth grader trying to sound smart?

You are the kinds of people I dread to meet in public. If I were to ever have the displeasure of meeting your retarded ass, I would probably beat you senseless untill your stupid childish mind thought like a normal person and believed in something that sounds correct instead of just saying “Eh, lets make a new religion..and what the hell, our ‘god’ should be a clump of spaghetti. Oh, and it should have eyes and be able to fly. Lets bow down to it and see how many people follow suit!”

Damn you all to hell!! Better yet, somebody should lock you in a fucking psychiatric ward for further examination because they obviously didnt do that enough when you dumb fucks were born. I hope this web page is taken off the web as quickly as it was put up.



this is one of the dumbest

Published October 28th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

this is some of the dumbest shit i have ever seen. You have a game for your church you are totally and utterly retarted dud-duh-DUR!! i haven’t laughed this hard in a while so i thank you dumbshits who believe this for entertaining me

P.S. hahahahahahahahahahahahaha fuck you guys but thnx for the laughs


ang on ang on

Published October 26th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

ang on ang on , ang abaat , u fink that theres a big ball of italian food at the pearly gates . do you even realise how offensive this may be to some christians ! , pastafarians r u stupid or wat . get a life ur no worse that them jahovis wittneses or dem ary chrishna ones . u need to get out more u kno. my brain capacity is bigger then urs

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Published October 22nd, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

lets see. YOU PEOPLE ARE FREAKING INSANE. It even says in several articles that this religion is a parody of other reilgions. People who follow this are messed up… and i dont mean the good way. i fucking idoits

I have considered other religions because i am mad with God, but I would never worship something I could eat. Hell, I love spaghetti and will be damned I ever worship something that is an entre that I can eat at Olive Garden.



this is all absolute bullfuck

Published October 18th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson


This is a complete mockery of god

Published October 12th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

This is a complete mockery of god. You all are going to hell for that.

P.S Don’t even think that a Damned spaghetti thing made-up by an asshole will save you.


I can’t believe you have spent so much time

Published October 12th, 2008 by Bobby Henderson

I can’t believe you have spent so much time being sarcastic about how stupid you think faith in God is. People who have faith are not crazy, dillusional, or using religion as a crutch. I’ve heard it all. I don’t understand why people like you make fun of the single concept that believing in God comes down to–love. That’s all it’s really about. Making a mockery of something people feel passionate about is kind of a waste of time. I feel bad that you have gotten yourself so deep into this FSM thing and are surrounded by people who agree with you. Some things don’t have to make sense to you to be true.

I believe in what the Bible offers me because it all has a single underlying message: to be a pure and loving person. Although I’m not always, I want to strive to be…and this makes my life happier.

If you were to see a slideshow of your entire life, would you truly feel pride? Would you see yourself with images of sharing positive and happy emotion with others that isn’t based on making fun of Religion?

Someday you will come to a point where you’ll know the Truth. And you may not believe me now, but I’m just trying to help you…the day that you die, if you find yourself afraid and alone, just call out to Jesus. Just remember this.

p.s. check out George G, Ritchie’s Return From Tomorrow.


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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American.


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