Here’s a new propaganda flyer courtesy of designer Ritchie:
Cristof spotted this pirate ship cake pan on reddit (unknown link).
It is my friend Carmen’s birthday today and the one request she made for her birthday was a White Russian Cake with FSM decor. So I made her a Cappuccino Kuala Fudge Cheesecake with his Noodleyness.
— Willa, Raleigh, North Carolina
I am writing about the official church stance of homosexual marriage (i.e. none). I am concerned that this stance is in direct contradiction with the will of the FSM. You see, I received a vision from the FSM this evening while (as is often the case) I was cooking a grilled cheese sandwich.
During his appearance he told me that homosexuals are gay because He has touched them with his noodley appendage. This is the reason that “experts” have had so much difficulty pinpointing what makes someone gay. And since gays and lesbians have been chosen by Him, to deny them the right to get married is an abomination in His eyes (meatballs). Of course many have argued that no major religion has ever accepted homosexuality. It should obvious to any FSM follower that the real reason homosexuals are shunned from mainstream religion is because of blatant prejudice towards those who have been touched by Him. A bigotry that I know many of my fellow Pastafarians have experienced first hand.
I am especially concerned because of the state of gay rights movement today. Too often gay activists argue that should be given the right to marry because of court precedent that says marriage is their “right as a human being” or essential to the “dignity ” of a relationship. Then they rely on the 14th amendment to say that they deserve “equal protection under the laws” and that under constitution gay people are “equal to” straight people.
Well I think to time to put these arguments to rest. Gay Pastafarians should sue because not allowing gay marriage is a violation of their first amendment rights since it is commanded by the FSM as relayed to me in my vision. Of course He works in mysterious ways and we may never why He commands that gays get married. But there is no question that He does.
Now if I know my fellow Pastafarians, you want proof. Attached is a photo of the grilled sandwich I was cooking when He appeared to me. I think it speaks for itself. I hope that it is satisfactory proof to convince everyone that we should amend the CotFSM’s stance on gay marriage to supporting it. Only then can gay Pastafarians demand true religious freedom and marry as the FSM intended.
May you all be touched by his noodley appendage,
Charles sent in this sighting of the FSM’s Noodly Appendages in the surf in California.
Steven Klinger’s Pastafarian Propaganda. Amazing work – I can’t stop looking at this. I now badly want to market FSM beer.
You can see some more of Steven’s artwork on his Facebook profile.
I think it would be great if we could help Steven kick-start his artistic career. Anyone with a project in mind in need of talent?
I’ve started a design contest for an FSM logo/emblem at LogoTournament. It’s mainly so we can have a professionally designed t-shirt. Contest has been up for an hour and already I’ve been impressed with some responses. If this is your kind of thing, please come enter. Winner gets $375. Here’s the contest page.
The contest ends ~ 1/22. I’d love to hear opinions on the designs as they come in.
Senator Grassley of Iowa’s Evangelical Finance Probe was released this week. A lot of us were hoping these megachurches would be scrutinized for their most flagrant abuses: the obscene salaries, the private jets and luxury cars, the politicking. Most of us are shocked these sham broadcast ministries can exist as tax exempt non-profit organizations in the first place, but it is stunning that because they’re religious institutions they don’t have to file detailed financial disclosure reports to the IRS. So we were glad that Grassley and team were investigating.
Well now the report is out and we know what they were doing the last three years and investigating was not it. Out of the six broadcast ministries looked at only two cooperated, and *zero* subpoenas were issued by investigators. What a scam.
Grassley offered this statement, which I have been trying to parse for a while but I’m having trouble because it’s such bullshit:
The staff review sets the stage for a comprehensive discussion among churches and religious organizations. I look forward to helping facilitate this dialogue and fostering an environment for self-reform within the community.
Translation: we will ask churches to be good. Hey if that doesn’t work, perhaps another three year investigation in which nothing is investigated is in order. You sir, Senator Grassley, are a fraud.
Here are some depressing articles about this mess:
President of the American Atheist Group, David Silverman, went on the O’Reilly Factor to talk about the group’s “You KNOW they’re all SCAMS” billboard campaign. Bill O’Reilly said it was insulting to religious people. Silverman says it’s the truth and how can the truth be offensive.
I will admit I laughed when I heard about the billboard. I can imagine the response it will get in Alabama. Anyone remember the Top Gear episode where they did a road trip through the south and wrote controversial slogans on each others cars? Made me think of that.
I will also admit I have a grudging respect for Bill O’Reilly – because as much of a pompous ass he is, and as often as he is wrong about so many things, I find him intellectually honest. I believe he believes what he is saying, and you can’t say that about everyone. [Edit – I got a lot of flack for that statement. Maybe deserved. But still I believe there is a difference between what he is doing and what Glenn Beck is doing. Both are asses but I believe O’Reilly sleeps well at night and doesn’t believe himself to be a fraud.]
But here is one of those things O’Reilly says that leaves you stunned. There is proof of (presumably a personal Christian) God because of Tides:
O’REILLY: I’ll tell you why it’s not a scam: the tide goes in, tide goes out. Never a miscommunication. You can’t explain that.
SILVERMAN: The tide goes in, tide goes out?
O’REILLY: The water, the tide comes in, it goes out, Mr. Silverman. It always comes in, it always goes out. You can’t explain that.
Here’s the video:
In response, friend of the Church of Flying Spaghetti Monster, Mr. Stephen Colbert, had Astrophysicist Neil Degrasse Tyson on The Colbert Report to give a scientific explanation for the tides:
As always, the problem with the false religion/science dichotomy leaves the masses ignorant of the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s influence over everything.
While eating a bag of pretzles at my mother in law’s installment as rector of an Episcopal church in New Hampshire l, I came across This visage of his Noodley Goodness! I knew for sure that he was watching over me as I was being tempted by another!
–Tom Petzwinkler, Washington, DC