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He Boiled For Your Sins

Published March 21st, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

Thanks to Kaitlyn for this beautiful illustration:

Collander_med

*Update*

I got a surprising number of angry emails about this.  Surprising because while I can see how “He Boiled For Your Sins” could be viewed as making fun of the Christian “He Died For Your Sins”,  I know that there was no intention to offend.

We find the barrage of Jesus-on-a-cross imagery and “He died for your sins” propaganda tasteless and gaudy.  We find the concept of Original Sin offensive.  We believe it mocks rationality.

Most of all, we believe it’s a dangerous thing when religion is seen as above criticism or humor.  So while we’re aware that some of the things we say will offend, that’s not our intention – merely an accepted cost of the larger goal of shining light on what in our view is lunacy.  We can respect people and their beliefs *and at the same time* criticize what they send out into the world – there is no contradiction. 

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FSM bike rack in Baltimore

Published March 17th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

FSMBikeRack

Sam spotted this FSM bike rack on Bike Baltimore.  They claim this is a crab but it’s likely they just have not been enlightened yet.  

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Cabinet sighting

Published March 7th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

displaycabinet

My son called me over to show me this detail from a 1630 German display cabinet that is currently on display in the Getty museum in West LA. It clearly and indisputably shows the image of His Noodliness, carved by  a really talented worshipper 481 years ago. Our religious fervor was only broken by the professional grade snarly face of the security staff. They have some other cockamamie idea what the image depicts, dreamed up by godless LA leftist landlubbers no doubt.

Aaargh, Jeff (not my real pirate name)

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Pumpkin holder sighting

Published March 2nd, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

NoodlyPumpkinHolder

Saw this while I was looking at one of my favorite websites. Instantly thought of Him.

Hope you enjoy!

RAmen

-Alyssa

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Wisconsin protest sighting

Published February 26th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

Wisconsin_Protestor

Michael spotted this man protesting the anti-union measures in Wisconsin today on CNN.  I know there are many Pastafarians in Madison and that most all of us are in support of your efforts.  Stay strong, guys. Let us know how we can help.

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A Mountain, a Midget and a Tree

Published February 22nd, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

young talent

Hi there.

My name is Robert, I’m 12 and I am a devout Pastafarian. I’ve created a piece of art detailing the first moments of creation. I’d be honored if you posted this on your wonderful website. Here it is, I hope you like it.

Very nice! I particularly like the FSM’s eyes – you captured His intense concentration at that crucial moment.

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Christian missionaries captured by pirates

Published February 20th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

quest

Did you guys hear about this?

An American couple that has sailed the world with a yacht full of Bibles was hijacked by Somali pirates, and the U.S. said it is assessing possible options.

The Adams — who are members of the Marina del Rey Yacht Club in Marina del Rey, California — run a Bible ministry, according to their website, and have been distributing Bibles to schools and churches in remote villages in areas including the Fiji Islands, Alaska, New Zealand, Central America and French Polynesia.

The pirates from Puntland are not hardline Islamists and the fact the Adams carry Bibles is not likely to be a problem. Pirates in Puntland are known to spend their ransom spoils on alcohol, drugs and prostitutes.

[More at MSNBC]

I feel bad for the captured missionaries, and their families.  Aside from the fact that the coast of Somalia is one of the dumbest places in the world to be sailing and they should have known better, they are in a nightmare situation now. 

I have to wonder, though, did they sail into the region with the idea that their God would protect them from the well-known threat of pirates in the area? They are on a Quest after all. Here’s a quote from their website, “Another aspect of our travels is friendship evangelism – that is, finding homes for thousands of Bibles.”

When they saw the pirates approaching, what did they think? Was their faith shaken? I suspect it wasn’t. But maybe there was a moment before they were taken hostage when they were forced to question whether their God wanted them out there distributing thousands of Bibles. Maybe they saw this as a sign to stop.  Or maybe they saw it as a sign to evangelize to the pirates?  In any case, Pastafarians wish for your safe release, Adams family.

*Update*

Sad, unexpected news … the US Military discovered all 4 Americans killed by the pirates.

Four Americans taken hostage by Somali pirates off East Africa were shot and killed by their captors Monday, the U.S. military said. The deaths mark the first time U.S. citizens have been killed in a wave of pirate attacks plaguing the Gulf of Aden and the Indian Ocean for years.

It remained unclear why the pirates — who are widely seen as rational, if ruthless businessmen — would kill their only form of leverage. U.S. naval officials insisted they had not launched a rescue operation and are still trying to piece together events.

Graeme Gibbon-Brooks, the head of Dryad Maritime Intelligence, said he was confounded by the turn of events.

"We have heard threats against the lives of Americans before but it strikes me as being very, very unusual why they would kill hostages outright," he said, adding that the pirates must realize that killing Americans would invite a military response.

The military said U.S. forces have been monitoring the Quest for about three days, since shortly after the pirate attack on Friday. Four Navy warships were involved, including an aircraft carrier.

[More at NPR]

I’ve gotten some emails that I should take this post down because it’s “not funny anymore”.  But it was never meant to be funny and it’s certainly not meant to be now.  From all indications, the two couples were great people, and so what if some of us did not agree with their chosen missionary work – we are compassionate human beings who feel this is a tragic event.  Our condolences go out to the families. 

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Kiva 500k

Published February 16th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

Congratulations and thanks everyone, Kiva Team FSM passed $500k in contributions!

The counter above is live, you can post it on your site with this code and it will show our team’s total amount loaned:

<a href="http://kiva.org/team/fsm?default_team=fsm">
<img src="http://venganza.org/kiva/generated1.png" /></a>

Please join our team if you haven’t already – Kiva is an amazing organization.

Update Let’s brainstorm for our next fundraising goal. Some ideas:

* Average of 10 loans per member (we’re currently at 7.7)

* Get our team on the first page on the community listings. This would mean hitting a Total Amount Loaned amount of > $650k

* Get our team to first place in the Religious Congregations category. Our team is in second place. In first place are the Kiva Baha’is, a very charitable group – they have only 190 members but have raised more than $650k – amazing.

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Kentucky considering “academic” bible classes

Published February 13th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

sen.bowen

The Kentucky Post reports the state of Kentucky is considering allowing the Christian Bible to be studied in school.  

From state Senator Bowen:

No doubt about it, the most important book ever written and obviously, it’s had so much influence on our society and all of Western civilization.

Senator Bowen sponsored the Bill “which would direct the state Department of Education to develop a course curriculum around the Bible, which local school councils could then approve for teaching in their schools.”

The bill was approved by Kentucky’s State Senate and now goes to the House for review.

Ostensibly the purpose of the legislation is to ensure that the teaching of the bible is taught in the context of literature or as a part of culture.  That would be nice.  Of course this blurring of the separation of church and state will cause overreaching by those who feel its their Duty to God as it has in the past.

I would love to see a comparative religion course made mandatory in public schools across the US.  

116766 Views
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Noodly Ski Hat

Published February 12th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

Noodly-Ski-Hat

Steve sent us a picture of his new ski hat. I love it.

*Update*  Steve wrote instructions so you can make your own.

 

Instructions to make your own Noodly Ski Hat:

It’s easier than you might think – here’s a list of what you need:

Ingredients

  • Woolly hat, preferably a dark color. (I think mine was polyester rather than wool, see the comment on the letters below)
  • Noodly appendages. Two 12-packs of "chenille stems". Mine were 12 inches long, 15mm diameter.
  • Eyestalks. Chenille rope. This came as a long length, larger diameter than the stems. Cut to length.
  • Eyes. Come in packets of various sizes, mine were 1/2in diameter.
  • Meatballs. Brown colored pom-poms. Approx 3in diameter.
  • (optional) Meat sauce. One ball of red-brown "marinara" colored yarn or wool.
  • (optional) Iron-on fabric letters. Mine were 3/4in tall.
  • Rubber cement.
  • Needle and thread.

Most of the above should be available at your local craft store, I picked up mine at Hobby Lobby.

Construction (refer to the photo)

Eyestalks. Start by making the spiral at one end (the spiral provides a base to stick on the eyes). Then create the rest of the flat "U" shape and finish up with another spiral. Cut off any excess (see diagram). The wire in the material allows the eyestalks to stand upright and be pointed in any direction.

eyestalks

Attach the eyeballs with rubber cement. I put two at each end of the stalks, one on each side – his noodliness is all-seeing! Lay a book or two on top to clamp it down while the glue sets.

Attach meatballs and eyestalks. Lay the flat bottom part of the eyestalk assembly across the top of the hat. Take your needle and thread and attach the meatballs to the hat, while at the same time holding the eyestalks in place.

Add noodles! Poke the noodles into the hat from the outside. When halfway in, loop the noodle back on the inside and poke it back out, half an inch or so to the side of where it went in. Poke the noodles in all around the hat, but close to the meatball/eyestalk combination, i.e near the top of the hat. At the end of each noodle fold it back on itself for the last quarter inch or so to prevent any sharpness from the end of the wire injuring those being touched by his noodly appendage (see diagram). The wire in the chenille stems means they will keep their shape and they can be arranged to your satisfaction, or left to the rigors of normal wear.

Noodle

Add sustenance. While being anointed by his noodly presence it is only right to provide him sustenance. Loosely wrap the yarn around the hat multiple times (I think we did 30-40 wraps), and secure it loosely in place at four points around the hat with needle and thread.

Add letters. I turned up the bottom inch and a half of the hat brim and ironed on the letters. The instructions called for a hot iron but this will melt, or seriously flatten, polyester fibers in the hat itself. Experiment with lower temperatures that still allow the letters to adhere, if you have a polyester hat. Once again I added letters both front and back so that all could revel in his noodliness.

Feel free to experiment with the ingredients and construction, depending on personal preference and availability. My thanks go to Sue for her help with all aspects of construction that involved needle and thread!

Ramen

You can download Steve’s instructions as a PDF here:

skihatpdf

 

Thanks, Steve!

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