Update — The ordination certificates have been redesigned
Ordination certificates are just $20 and include domestic shipping. $30 for international. Check out more photos on the order page here.
“I mean, do a group of old white ladies govern what goes on with my balls? No. They don’t. But this is what happens in America. Old white men who believe in an invisible man in the sky get to say what goes on in all women’s vaginas.” – Ned Hepburn, Death and Taxes.
Old white men
Death and Taxes magazine has an enlightening article on the showdown in Indiana over abortion you might want to check out.
Some background information: Indiana republicans are attempting to pass a bill to make abortions illegal after the 20th week. Democrats are opposed, and back and forth discussions have turned nasty – at one point Eric Turner, a republican House of Representatives member, suggested women may fake a rape in order to get an abortion.
As much as I want to stay away from political (and emotionally charged) issues, it seems that there is something more insidious happening here that needs attention. It’s plain this is less about governing and more about pushing a conservative, religious, agenda. More and more we’re seeing this brazen attitude where government officials are doing “God’s work” – not always explicitly declared, but not uncommon, either – and more worryingly, no longer is this seen as an extreme position by many. A disturbing number of people don’t see anything wrong with this, they somehow think that state capitals and courtrooms are a proper venue for these ideological battles.
Regardless of personal views on abortion, we all have an interest in keeping these discussions out of government. At a time when the economy is on the edge of collapse, when we are fighting multiple wars, when millions are unemployed or underemployed, our government is spending time arguing over personal ideology. This is precisely why religion was meant to be kept out of government.
What do Pastafarians think about the abortion issue? I for one believe that Life begins at the Creation of the sperm, and that sperm, as potential human lives, deserve equal protection given to fetuses and grown children. Think of the billions of sperm needlessly killed by such things as hot tubs and tight-fitting underwear. In the future we will learn to save every sperm Created, so these potential lives can each develop into human adults as the FSM intended. Who’s with me?
Join me at Save-Our-Sperm.org (a work in progress).
Hi. So, I’m new to Pastafarianism, but I’m finding the transition easy enough. I was eating some awesome ravioli the other day, and it occurred to me to make an FSM-inspired poem for National Poetry Writing Month. I thought I’d share.
Slippery tendrils lash above the sea
In a frantic manner to save what be
A crew of pirates, stranded, latching on
To his noodly appendages a’dawn.
His Noodliness holds two spheres of meat
Muddled in the tangle of pasta, neat.
In Him, I find true mirth; my solace, joy!
The Pasta Lord, He taketh me—ahoy!
He promises a Kingdom grand, so long
As we abide by Captain Mosey’s song:
Yon, beer and ale spurt out of mountaintops;
A stripper factory that does not stop.
Rejoice, for He has boiled for our sins!
And now his wheaty sauce runs ‘neath our skins.
My Pasta Lord who flies with wholegrain love,
Invisible in the heavens above.
Not long after I learned about Pastafarianism I was taking pictures of fireworks and captured the attached picture. I never got around to sending it in but I figured better late than never!
(Taken in PA)
We have this picture of His Noodliness from a spot North of Mazatlan, Sinaloa, Mexico, from some petroglyphs in las Labradas and here it is.
I have drawn a rosary for a class project. Hope you like it :)
Dan created this Pastafarian Temple in Minecraft – the massively popular multiplayer sandbox survival game in which you place and destroy blocks. Religious people often build churches and mosques on the landscape. Dan put them to shame with this masterpiece:
I’ve heard from several UK Pastafarians that it’s Census time in Britain. In 2001 there was a movement to make “Jedi” a recognized religion by the government. It would be fantastic if Pastafarianism could gain similar recognition.
So, UK Pastafarians, on your 2011 Census, if you are a Believer, write Pastafarian as your religion.
I’ve gotten a lot of emails about this and I see a lot of comments saying the same thing – there is a feeling by many that it is important to put “No Religion” on this year’s census form, and the British Humanist Association makes a pretty strong argument for this.
If you say you’re religious on the census and don’t really mean it, then you are treated by some sections of the media, churches, and even government policymakers as if you are a fully-fledged believer.
While there are many True Believer Pastafarians, a large number of us could be described as not literally believing our own scripture. That’s not all that unusual in religion (many Christians don’t take the Bible literally) but that we are honest about our own reservations *is* unusual (and an important part of our religion). I often hear this brought up in arguments why Pastafarianism is not a “real” religion. My feeling is that defining religion is always done with some agenda and we’re best off not fitting into anyone’s small-minded definitions. But this problem remains – there are a huge number of people who get something positive out of Pastafarianism without literally believing the scripture. This census question, when asking people to define themselves in such simple terms, can’t fully capture a person’s view of a very complex subject.
If I was a UK citizen I would find this a difficult choice. Good luck!
Thanks to Kaitlyn for this beautiful illustration:
I got a surprising number of angry emails about this. Surprising because while I can see how “He Boiled For Your Sins” could be viewed as making fun of the Christian “He Died For Your Sins”, I know that there was no intention to offend.
We find the barrage of Jesus-on-a-cross imagery and “He died for your sins” propaganda tasteless and gaudy. We find the concept of Original Sin offensive. We believe it mocks rationality.
Most of all, we believe it’s a dangerous thing when religion is seen as above criticism or humor. So while we’re aware that some of the things we say will offend, that’s not our intention – merely an accepted cost of the larger goal of shining light on what in our view is lunacy. We can respect people and their beliefs *and at the same time* criticize what they send out into the world – there is no contradiction.