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Jesus was a Pastafarian

Published July 14th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

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Here is our friend Stephen Klinger’s newest creation.  What I like most about this piece, besides the FSM pouring beer on a stripper, is the prominent display of Jesus – an unexpected element in Pastafarian art.  I can imagine both Christians and Atheists might be offended over this, if they try.  I think that’s what I like about it.

What do you guys think? 

Update – A concerned stripper writes:

I am a devoted and practicing member of the Church of the FSM. I am also a stripper. Sure, laugh it up. I take my job seriously, and I love my job. It just so happens that I’m quite capable of reasoning and critical thinking, though, and when introduced to the Church and its teachings, I immediately declared myself a member. It seemed like the perfect fit for me, the one I’ve been looking for all of these years.

There’s a post of Jesus with FSM in the background, pouring beer on a stripper. Does the FSM really do this? I’m having a crisis of faith over here. If the FSM really does pour beer on strippers, I don’t think I can be a part of the Church anymore.

It doesn’t seem like it fits the general theme of peace that is going on. I don’t think pirates would have doused strippers in beer without their explicit request to do so. And although strippers tend to love beer (And I certainly do! I celebrate on Fridays, as recommended.), I wonder whether the stripper in the picture is actually consenting and requesting that she be doused in beer.

In order for strippers to do their jobs properly, they can’t be sticky from beer, and most guys tend to want their strippers dry and clean. It also seems like it is a hazard to a stripper’s safety, and could cause serious injury or death by slipping on the pools of beer that would form. I am sure that the FSM would not want a death attributed to him, even a stripper’s. And I am absolutely positive that strippers find beer being poured on them to be too messy and too much trouble to be worth it.

All of this said, I’m having a crisis of faith. Is this what the FSM wants from me? To be dangerously doused in beer while in my 7" stilettos? I can’t risk my safety or my financial well-being.

Now what? Do I leave the Church of the FSM? How do I reconcile the feelings I have about the FSM? Can anyone offer me some advice?

Love and Peace to the FSM Community,

–Piper

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Rebecca’s FSM Inspired Valedictorian Speech

Published July 2nd, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

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Seniors in my high school are allowed to paint a mural on the walls of the art room at the end of the year, and I chose the flying spaghetti monster. I also mentioned the flying spaghetti monster in my valedictorian speech. I’ll include it in the email. I hope the mural lives up to the image of his noodly appendages. 

Valedictorian Speech Below

Hi, everyone. Before we get our diplomas, I want to tell you all a short story. The story of an art project I did. At the end of the year, each senior in art is allowed the opportunity to preserve themselves in a mural on the walls of the art room. I decided I wanted to paint one. The only question was what would I paint? I considered pop culture references and inspirational flowery messages of hope, but ultimately, I decided on something I thought was strange enough to inspire interest and maybe a few people could look at it and see something uniquely for themselves. I chose the flying spaghetti monster. For those of you who don’t know, the flying spaghetti monster is the emblem of the “pastafarian” movement, which is a rather silly group that questions the validity of blind acceptance, instead promoting logic. I did not choose the flying spaghetti monster to make a political or religious statement. To me, the flying spaghetti monster represents an ideal I think is being undervalued in our society—the ability to laugh at things that are ridiculous, and more importantly, the value of being ridiculous and silly. A thing does not have to be serious in life to be important. I think that that’s something I never really understood before. The importance of being unapologetically ridiculous, the joy that humor can bring, the profundity of absurdity; it’s all so clear to me now. The outlandish can instill wonder and happiness. What better reason is there for art? And so I painted the flying spaghetti monster, hoping that someday, someone would find in it a muse of silliness for their own life, something to tell them to be novel and unafraid to take chances.

If I could offer you all one bit of guidance from my life to your own, whether you are going to work, college, or the military, it would be that when life gives you the chance to go on an adventure, always take it. It doesn’t have to be the literal road trip, or journey-through-the-jungle-kind of adventure. It just has to be something new. And it doesn’t always have to be a place. An adventure can be a job, or a class, or a person. Always remember to push yourselves out of your comfort zones. Most of my regrets from high school have been not going on an adventure because I was too afraid of failing. And I don’t think I’ve ever regretted an adventure either, even if it rains, which usually does happen. It’s taken me a long time to understand this, but living in the moment doesn’t have to be a bad thing. The realization that absolutely everyone dies and that this single day will mean very little in the larger scope of my life has allowed me to let go a bit. Relinquishing those fears that we bear as shields over our hearts is never easy, but well worth it, however uncomfortable it may be.

So, as we walk into a different stage in our lives, I encourage you all to improvise, to sample everything, to search until you find a dream, and fight until that dream is realized. Remember to search for wonder, and every now and again, let curiosity get the best of you, for it’s the only way to continue to grow, and always keep your heart and mind light. In the words of a great playwright and my favorite author, “Life is too important to be taken seriously.” Stay gold, everyone."

-Rebecca

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PZ Myers responds to Pastafarian

Published June 14th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

I thought I’d share my latest battle with science.  PZ Meyers is an outspoken atheist and Biologist.  I went along to his talk in proper garb and questioned him on obvious discrepancies in his arguments against ID theory.

-Reverend Malin

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Is it time for an FSM billboard?

Published June 7th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

billboard2Can you picture it?  It could be amazing, if we do it right.  I’ve mentioned it before and had mixed responses.  Here are my thoughts:

It can’t be negative.  As an example, I was not a fan of the You Know It’s A Myth banners put up by the American Atheists.  

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I am in favor of the AA’s substantive causes but I found this billboard campaign smug and petty (I feel the same about campaigns to remove Christmas trees from public venues). 

The high road.  If we put up a billboard, it must be a positive message – it must promote us and our ideals, not attack another group.  Satire and nonsense are great, attacking Christianity is boring and counter-productive.  I have no problem slamming Cthulhu and/or the IPU (She is in my drawing, also btw).

Send me your ideas/drawings. I’ll post them here. What would make a good billboard?  A pirate ship “full of beer and strippers”?  That might be interesting.  It’s been a while since I’ve seen a drawing of the Beer Volcano.  Send your submissions to me and we can decide what would look best.  We’ll worry about paying for the billboard space next.

Submissions (so far):

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#1.  See the World, by Doug.

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#1(b). Have you been touched, by Doug.

 

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#2. Try Pasta, by Jo (Cardinal Fang)

 

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#3. Touching, by Dan.

 

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#4.  Teaching our children the truth, by Wayne.

 

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#5.  Try FSM, by Kelly.

 

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#6.  Main course for the soul, by Younger.

 

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#7.  Two designs, by Doug.

 

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#8.  I’d really rather you didn’t, by Jeffrey.

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On The Eve Of The Rapture

Published May 21st, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

. . . as i gazed upon the octopodes
consorting in the waves
i saw between their writhing toes
the one who us has saved.

-Alexis

250595 Views
24 Comments

Tasmania Rally Evangelism

Published May 20th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

fsmpulp

2500 people at a rally to oppose a new pulp mill here in Tasmania, Australia. 3 people approached me to tell me how awesome FSM is (his noodles be praised!), and 2497 people looked at me like I was a nut-job. The things we do to get the good word out…
-Nat

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Certificates of Ordination

Published May 9th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

Update — The ordination certificates have been redesigned

Ordination certificates are just $20 and include domestic shipping. $30 for international. Check out more photos on the order page here.

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Colombia Pastafarians First Meeting

Published April 25th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

Dear Friends at the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster,

We celebrated last Friday the event of the reference. It took place at the "Plaza de la Paz" [Right in front of the Metropolitan Catholic Cathedral] in Barranquilla, Colombia. Though we were only 25 Pastafarians, the presence of his Noodliness was strong. The opportunity served us to settle an agenda of activities that are planned in order to promote the idea of the separation of church & state, a secular view of the world, and of course, the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

I´m not sure of how well informed are you about what´s going on here in Colombia, but under the Uribe administration freedom of beliefs was not cherished [measures that undermine the spirit of the Constitution of 1991 were taken, like forcing the teaching of religion again in schools and granting privileges to the Catholic Church]. The previous constitution was adopted in1886, which made Colombia a confesional state, namely, a Catholic one. This means that in the past 9 years we got back over a 100 years on the subject of rights, having to witness cases related to the discrimination towards other beliefs, not to mention those who are agnostic or atheists. The situation is really one to worry about: picture yourself the General Prosecutor boycotting a law that allows women to abort if (1) Malformation of the fetus, (2) Grave risk for the mother´s life & (3) Pregnancy being a result of rape. Guess what? This member of the government is affiliated to the "Legionaries of Christ"[!!!], and offered a number of different phony legal explanations to promote the figure of "conscientious objection of institutions" [Yeah, right, that´s what he argued] so as to allow different hospitals to deny the services to women that requested the practice of abortions under the above mentioned three circumstances [as granted by a Sentence of the Constitutional Court]. In the practice, he has put forward an agenda that implicitly accepts it is good to be first a believer and then a member of the government. Going beyond the discussion on abortion, no matter if one is in favor or against it, it is simply outrageous that a member of the government decides that it is legal to brake the law.

Since some of us got sick & tired of this & other similar cases, we decided to open a FB group called "Primera Iglesia del Monstruo de Spaghetti Volador de Barranquilla". The attached pictures were taken the day of the meeting. We hope to make a small contribution & that you include this news on the site.

May he touch & enlighten us all with his noodly appendage!

Sincerely yours,
René J. Campis C.
Pastafarian

(more…)

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He Boiled For Your Shirt

Published April 19th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

I’ve added a few additions to the store, including the “He Boiled For Your Sins” shirt above. I got some upset emails about the ‘He Boiled’ designs posted here before (some of you will remember Kaitlyn’s He Boiled poster from a few weeks ago), and at the time I felt it was too polarizing to add to the store. But a few things have turned me around since then.

I talked with some of the upset people and tried to understand why this design, more than others, irked them. What I heard was that they felt it was directly mocking Christianity, directly mocking Jesus for his sacrifice and you’re wrong to question what I know to be True. The conversations were for the most part civil, but I detected a sticking point around the idea of Original Sin.

There is a strong belief that Jesus died for mankind’s sins among this group, and a strong belief in Original Sin – the idea that we are born guilty, or born with a tendency towards a sinful lifestyle. Only “belief” is not a strong enough word – they felt it was unshakable truth, and that questioning this was the highest offense.

I feel everyone has a right to their beliefs, but I also feel strongly that no ideas are above scrutiny, and that Unquestionable Truths have dangerous potential, whatever the idea at the root of it. The context makes it an unstable force, not necessarily the content.

Original Sin is True, therefore unbaptized babies in non-Christian countries are doomed to Hell. The people who can believe this without inner conflict are under the influence of an Unquestionable Truth.

So then, the shirt. Is there value in questioning in what Can Not Be Questioned? I think there is, and I think the people who do the questioning are working for the cause of reason. Some people will only see our group as being willfully disrespectful. Some of us will only see theirs as culture that values irrationality, that rejects reason. But I have talked to many religious people who believe faith is not a virtue – or at least, that faith is not necessarily a virtue – who value reason more than dogma. These people don’t feel threatened by our group. All in all, I think this shirt is a force of good in the world and I hope most people will get that.

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Pasta Lord – a poem

Published April 6th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

Hi. So, I’m new to Pastafarianism, but I’m finding the transition easy enough. I was eating some awesome ravioli the other day, and it occurred to me to make an FSM-inspired poem for National Poetry Writing Month. I thought I’d share.

—Judd, Philippines

 

Pasta Lord

Slippery tendrils lash above the sea

In a frantic manner to save what be

A crew of pirates, stranded, latching on

To his noodly appendages a’dawn.

 

His Noodliness holds two spheres of meat

Muddled in the tangle of pasta, neat.

In Him, I find true mirth; my solace, joy!

The Pasta Lord, He taketh me—ahoy!

 

He promises a Kingdom grand, so long

As we abide by Captain Mosey’s song:

Yon, beer and ale spurt out of mountaintops;

A stripper factory that does not stop.

 

Rejoice, for He has boiled for our sins!

And now his wheaty sauce runs ‘neath our skins.

My Pasta Lord who flies with wholegrain love,

Invisible in the heavens above.

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