Showing all posts for #Evangelism
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Adopt-a-street

Published June 6th, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

Spotted in Springfield, Missouri, by Eulalia.

adopt-a-street1.jpg

Thanks to the MSU Pastafarians for doing this.

25943 Views
480 Comments

I was tricked by Jehovah’s Witnessess!

Published May 16th, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

I almost got shot. kinda.

A few days ago, as I was leaving my apartment, a car sped across the parking lot to intercept me. I had just about reached my car when I noticed the driver stopping directly behind my car, blocking me. The two passengers jumped out of the car and came straight at me.

I get a lot of hate-mail and I’ve had more than a few death threats. I keep my address a secret, but I’ve had people track me down in the past. So, when I saw a car speed up and two people jump out, it freaked me out.

One of them asked me if I valued the mind and body benefits of exercise. I said yes and that I needed to get going. They assured me that they’d move the car, but perhaps I wanted to take some reading material with me to look over when I had more time.

So I took their pamphlet. My only excuse is that I thought I was going to get stabbed or something, and I just wanted to get out of there. It wasn’t until later that I looked at the pamphlet. It slowly went from exercise to Jesus. It turned out to be disguised Jehovah’s Witness propaganda, the Watchtower. I figured that they tricked me fair and square, so I felt obligated to read it.

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What I learned by this experience

The pamphlet, itself, was kind of Jesusy. But it gave me some fantastic ideas for expanding the Pastafarian congregation. Clearly, the way to get more members is to trick them; make them think they’re signing up for one thing and then – bam – all the sudden you hit them with the gospel-speak, and you’ve got them.

So, I’ve decided that we’re going to do a similar campaign to trick people into joining FSM, specifically, members of other religions, especially the religions who propagandize. I figure that we’ve already got the open-minded people, now we need the gullible ones.

Internet advertising – like magic, but nerdier

You can target advertisements to specific categories of websites. We’re going to be targeting competing religious websites. Any religion who hands out pamphlets is fair game. Lots of religious websites sell ad-space through 3rd parties, and we’ll be able to place OUR ads on their pages, and steal their members.

It’ll work like this: their members will go to the church websites as usual, and they’ll see a small ad suggesting that there is more to their religion. Some of them will click the ad and be brought to a specific catch page, where they’ll hear fantastic arguments on why they should convert.

I need your help with any of the following:

1) Specific strategies for each religion. For example, for Jehovah’s Witnesses, we could push that we, also, reject Orthodox Christianity. And the strategies don’t need to be that on-topic. The Jehovah’s Witnesses got me with an exercise pamphlet, we could just as easily have a pirate angle or something. We’ll have different strategies for the other religions – Mormons, Young Earth Christians, Scientologists, etc. Let’s brainstorm. Either post in the comments or send me an email at bobby.henderson@gmail.com

2) Nich text ads. We need short, catchy text ads that will appeal to each of the target religions. The content of these ads will be more clear once we’ve established our strategies for each religion.

3) Small Image Ads. People with art skills, get creative. Same deal with the text ads, we’re going to know more once we know what our angle is. We’ll need ads in the following dimensions:
200×200
250×250
468×60
336×280

4)Individual Catch Pages. Once they click the ad, they’ll be brought to a page on the FSM site which will expand on the idea presented in the ad and slowly make the argument that they should convert to Pastafarianism. I need help with this.

5) Money. I’ve put aside a few thousand for this. Ads cost between $0.25 and upwards of $5 per thousand views. I’m hoping for a budget of at least $5k. If you want to help, you can either donate, or buy some FSM merchandise.

So, that’s my idea. What do you think?

28676 Views
92 Comments

Jolly-fish tattoo

Published May 14th, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

Just received an email with the following picture:

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Nice work, Shaynard.

To my knowledge, there are now about 10 Pirate-Fish tattoos worldwide, and a couple of the FSM, Himself.

10492 Views
52 Comments

gelaskins for laptops

Published May 10th, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

laptopfsm.jpg

Today I received an unexpected package in the mail from GelaSkins, with two of their vinyl laptop skins inside. I like it. I’ve had my iPod Gela-Skinned for about 6 months now and it’s held up extremely well considering how badly I treat my things. They use a from-the-future adhesive that lets you move around the vinyl sticker until you’ve got it placed the way you like it. And when you’re sick of it, you can peel it off and it doesn’t leave any residue.

GelaSkins are super low-profile protective skins for your Apple or PC laptop computer. Advanced 3M adhesive makes them cleanly removable when you want to switch up for another design.

They have a bunch of other designs available for sale, too. You can get them here.

8982 Views
13 Comments

fsm and easter

Published April 11th, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

Sorry this is a little late ..  I’m way behind on emails.

In the area where I live, there are many churches and most of them
have been putting out roadside signs encouraging people to go to
church for Easter.  Today I saw a new sign alongside the others; I
think I’ll opt to go to THAT church!   (Please see photo attached.)

RAmen!
Wench Beth

fsm-church-sign.jpg

8338 Views
23 Comments

A pastafarian’s conversion

Published April 11th, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

Dear Mr. Henderson,

Thank you so much for your intelligent and witty challenge to intelligent design. Not only has this new church given me and my daughter (also an atheist) an enormous amount of entertainment, it also allowed me to play what will probably be the best prank I have ever played on my family and friends:

Dear Friends and Family;

I know that all of you have been concerned about my emotional and spiritual welfare, especially since the stroke. I know I have lacked direction, conviction, and integrity. I am writing to tell you that I have admitted to the error of my ways and have reached a turning point in my life.

Many of you feel that my lack of faith is the root of my problems and you were right. But I have been saved and want to spread the word; I hope that you can share in the blissful savior I have found. I love all of you so much, I want you to benefit from my new faith.

So, please take a moment to share in my redemption and go to the website below and rejoice in the truth.

http://www.venganza.org/

Peace and noodles,
Laurie

Being, and rearing, an atheist in North Dakota is not the easiest thing in the world. Remember, we are not much farther north of Kansas. I firmly believe that you are walking in the footsteps of the great social commentators of our world – Mr. Swift being the most obvious. So, once again, thanks and here’s to more conversions!

Peace and noodles,
Laurie

17794 Views
93 Comments

Noodlefest 2007

Published April 11th, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

On May 9th the Missouri State University Chapter of the Church of the FSM will be putting on a FREE outdoor concert from noon-11pm. They have 8 bands signed to play already and will be raising money for breast cancer research.

Here’s the flyer:

Update:
Noodlefest has four band slots remaining and would love some big-name talent from outside the area.  Interested bands can contact Rob at 314-378-2202 or Lehr868@missouristate.edu

22853 Views
348 Comments

Religious Discrimination

Published March 29th, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

Bryan Killian, a high school student in North Buncombe, North Carolina was suspended for coming to school dressed as a pirate.

But the disciplinary action has provoked controversy – because the student says that the ban violates his rights, as the pirate costume is part of his religion.

Read about it in the Metro or the Citizen-Times.

This story is blowing up and I’ve been having a lot of problems keeping the server running. It’s currently #1 on Digg and Reddit.

I’ll have some updates and more information about all this soon.

25941 Views
283 Comments

official missionary transportation

Published March 17th, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

Do you guys like this boat?

tayana10sm.jpg

(you can’t really tell, but I crossed out the name of the boat, and wrote “church of the fsm”)
tayana13sm.jpg

(note – in picture 2, there used to be a lady standing on the deck, but I photoshopped her out. You can still sort of see her legs if you look closely)
tayana12sm.jpg

It’s not a pirate boat. But here’s the thing: it’s also not $2 million. This one’s a Tayana 37. The one pictured isn’t for sale, but they run about $100k, which we could probably handle *right now*.

The official FSM church missionary pirate boat IS going to happen, it’s just a matter of to what degree you want. I want to get everyone’s opinion on this. Wait until we can afford a “real” pirate ship, or get something smaller and start now? The Church makes nowhere near the amount of cash to get a millions-of-dollars boat anytime soon, if ever. The funds now are all coming from the t-shirts, car emblems, and book sales, and they’ve about leveled off. However, we do have a licensing arrangement, and there are some tv interests. That could mean some more cash for the pirate-boat-fund.

And there’s the option of fund-raising, but I’m guessing that people would be apprehensive paying into a fund like this (I would be). And are there that many seriously interested people who would pay $1k or more for a share of a pirate boat? I sort of wonder.

Maybe we could purchase a working boat, like a Baltic Trader (it’s sort of piratey), one of those ships that moves cargo from island to island in the tropics.
sailsstowed.jpg

(baltic trader)

A trading ship would make enough money to keep it going (boats are crazy-expensive to upkeep). By the way, a Baltic Traders can easily go for a million dollars or more.
As for the actual missionary work we’ll be doing, I think it will take place somewhere tropical. Other than that, maybe we’ll just cruise around and wait for inspiration, like Jesus did.

And, as I’m sure there will be no shortage of volunteers, if we get a smaller boat we’ll have to figure out how to arrange the crewing,etc. And also I heard that it’s somewhat complicated to sail and maneuver around islands and other boats and things, so we’ll have to figure out a way to keep from sinking. Like a rule that at least a couple people onboard at anytime know what they’re doing.

Please discuss, I want to hear everyone’s opinions on this.

17924 Views
41 Comments

Hollywood Flock of Dodos Screening

Published February 13th, 2007 by Bobby Henderson

Nick the Missionary from the ECU Flock of Dodos Screening has made another appearance!

Randy Olson was so pleased with my imopromptu performance at the last screening, that he flew me out to Hollywood for a screening at Graumans Egyptian theater. I had a great time, and spread the noodly word to many. I have attached a few photos from the event. Theres a couple of photos of me posing with the official dodos, a Darwin impersonator, the Director Randy Olson, and his mom and the star of the movie Muffy Moose. One is with the only celebrity I met Matt Walsh from the Upright Citizens Brigade. I also included the greatest photo of the trip! Its of FSM and a particularly buxom pirate wench we ran into. He seemed to be fond of her cleavage. I think thats what many of the strippers in heaven will look like!

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More pictures can be found at Nick’s flickr page here.

Thank you very much Nick!


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