Response from Mrs. Janet Waugh - District 1 - Received 6/25/05

From: JWaugh1052@[xxxxxxx]
To: bobby.henderson@gmail.com
Date: Jun 25, 2005 6:34 AM
Subject: Response from a member of the Kansas Board of Education

Thanks for your comments about the Flying Spaghetti Monster and all the supporters who have sent their support to members of the Kansas Board of Education. I am supporting the recommendations of the science committee and am currently in the minority. I think your theory is wonderful and possibly some of the majority members will be willing to support it.

Thanks again,

Janet Waugh District 1

Response from Mrs. Sue Gamble - District 2 - Received 6/26/05

From: msgamble@[xxxxxxxxx]
To: bobby.henderson@gmail.com
Date: Jun 26, 2005 6:34 PM
Subject: Reply

Dear Mr. Henderson, Thanks for your message. Thanks for the laugh. Your web site is fascinating. I will add your theory to a long list of alternative theories I intend to introduce when it is appropriate. I am practicing how to do this with a straight face which is difficult since it’s such a ridiculous subject; it is also very sad that we are even having the discussion.

I will be one of the four member minority who will be voting against the flawed science standards currently being proposed by the six member majority.

Sincerely,

Sue Gamble

Response from Mrs. Carol Rupe - District 8 - Received 8/16/05

From: Carol Rupe
To: bobby.henderson@gmail.com
Date: Aug 16, 2005 8:19 AM
Subject: Kansas State Board of Education

Dear Mr. Henderson,

In the midst of the sad circumstances of having our science standards lowered, you and your legion of fellow FSM followers have offered wonderful comic relief. Rather than the form letters which we often receive on other topics, each FSM letter has been clever and unique. I responded to several at first, but now there have just been too many. I am a member of the Kansas State Board of Education and have voted repeatedly to maintain excellent science standards. Last week was the vote to send a new draft (written by the 6 conservative members) out for external review. The four of us on the board who are moderates were in the minority on the vote. The group of science teachers and university professors who had written the original standards (before they were changed) have now asked that their names be withdrawn from the document. The new version changes the very definition of science from “seeking natural explanations” to “seeking logical explanations”. That is why I think FSMism is able to be included. It is as “logical” as any other theory.

The final vote on the standards will be in October. We will be in Lawrence, Kansas for that meeting. Those of us who are moderates on the board are trying to have the meeting in the Natural History Museum at the University of Kansas. We think that would be an appropriate setting for the occasion. We welcome you to be in attendance.

We have received thousands of emails from scientists around the world. At first, they all tried to explain good science to us. After the vote last week, however, they have resorted to calling us hillbillies and morons. And those are the nice letters!

Thank you for adding levity to this situation. You have developed quite a following. I was wondering if we could reverse the effects of global warming if we started breeding pirates.

Sincerely,
Carol Rupe

P.S. I ordered a Kansas Museum of Science t-shirt. I may just have to wear it to a board meeting.

From: Mrs. Kathy Martin, District 6

“It is a serious offense to mock God.”

1175 Responses to “Kansas School Board Responses to the Open Letter”

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  1. 41 - September 28th, 2006 at - mamavoodoo Says:

    Dear Ms.kathy…MyMyMy…and when did we get the great position of speaking for God?And which one are we speaking for????Mine says They never made that arrangement with you…soooo as a new High Pasta-ness of this great order I say to you….May His Noodley Appendage Come down from Above and Slap Thee Right on Top of Thy Pointiness of thy Little Head and shaketh thy small under cooked noodle. May The Great One take pity on thy undercookedness……and make of thee a great Udon ..Her High Pasta-ness..MamaVoodoo

  2. 42 - September 28th, 2006 at - AL Dente Says:

    Poor Poor Kathy, obviously you have not partaken of the saucy sacrament from his high Noodliness. Pastafarianism is a quiet quaint communion of all strands of holiness into ones body. May his Angel Hair entwine thee to thy reconcilliation meant to save thee from the evil Fra Diabla who digests within thee.

    Come forth from your box and be fully immersed in the waters of redemption upon the holy alter of Stove, that you may be reborn and rinsed of your starchiness.

    Say 25 ‘Hail Marinaras’ and 10 ‘Oh my Meatballs’ to save thyself from your stiff and boxed ways.
    *Ramen*

    His High Sauciness,
    Al Dente Paladin d’Tortellini

  3. 43 - September 28th, 2006 at - Stevie P Says:

    Kathy, your well argued and carefully thought out stanza has rid me of my foul urges toward the noodly one. Clearly, when one has such a grasp and intuitive understanding of our place in the universe as you it is pointless to argue. Which God is the right one again? I get a little confused, and I’d hate to screw up again at this point. I love you.

  4. 44 - September 29th, 2006 at - Hardcore Says:

    I’ve read a lot of (but not all) the response/ comments/ hate mail etc sent in by “Christians” and have a question or 2/ 3: According to gospel/ scripture/ the bible (insert name of religious text here) you fabulous people aren’t very “Christian”, now are you? I ask this because in one of the insane hate mail messages the author basically says he can’t wait to see Mary/ Jesus/ Diety of your choice kicking Bob’s but and that it’ll be the best moment of his life when Bob burns in everlasting hell fire (ya’ll) etc. Really? No matter what Bob or anyone says/ or does, do you think God would want you to be thinking like that? Hmmm… maybe you just human after all? Or are you just hypocrites? (I’m not a Christian by the way), but all relgions/ faiths preach the same basic message: LOVE THY NEIGHBOUR, BE TOLERANT etc etc etc… Where did all that go? How did the Right Wing Christian fundamentalists manage to forget the main message of Christianity. It isn’t “DO WHAT I SAY SO YOU CAN GET TO HEAVEN” that’s for sure and screw anyone who thinks differently (or in some cases, is capable of thinking at all). xz

  5. 45 - September 29th, 2006 at - Reborn Says:

    Kathy, I repent my starchy ways. Thank you for showing me the light, I will now make jihad against all Pastafarians in the name of OUR GOD!

  6. 46 - September 29th, 2006 at - Patrick Bateman Says:

    At least Kathy will have to agree that it would be fair to teach the kids that one theory claims that earth is flat and one theory claims that earth is round. Just saying that the earth is round would be to mock god wouldnt it?

  7. 47 - September 29th, 2006 at - pure.Caprice Says:

    Dear Mrs. Kathy Martin;
    I cannot begin to tell you how terribly glad I am that you have been chosen as God’s assistant. To have the power to speak for Him, be offended for Him, and in all regards give us an up-to-date report containing His opinion on everything, that is truly a great boon! I personally would love to have these abilities, and if you ever have a free moment I simply must request that you tell us all in great detail how you obtained such an amazingly extraordinary position.

    Many thanks in advance,
    pure.Caprice

  8. 48 - September 29th, 2006 at - dead pleasure Says:

    it is funny how you can say such things kathy, when you speak for your god but what what god is it have you spoken to all gods from satan of fire or mother earth of wicca and most of all how dare you speak for his greatness may he slam you into the infernal pot for your ignorness- with gothic love soilder of blood lust for wrath iron JAX

    p.s people like you made calumbine happen lol

  9. 49 - October 3rd, 2006 at - Anthony Says:

    Wait…I thought the flying spaghetti monster WAS God… no?

  10. 50 - October 3rd, 2006 at - magis Says:

    wait…
    assuming god created everything
    and god is invisible
    and god is all knowing and all seeing
    and god is everywhere.

    isn’t the only difference between god and the flying spaghetti monster the fact that god made us in his own image.

    is it possible that the flying spaghetti monster is god and he just didn’t make us in his own image?

  11. 51 - October 3rd, 2006 at - magis Says:

    From: Mrs. Kathy Martin, District 6

    “It is a serious offense to mock God.”

    well i’ll take my chances… besides he’s a good friendly forgiving god right?

    well anyways. it’s easier to pay respects to the flying spaghetti monster by making our food in his image as hommage as it is he who provides us with food.

    and if it is truely a serious offense to mock god, why do you mock ours if not to encourage us to mock yours?

  12. 52 - October 3rd, 2006 at - Fedora Says:

    I grew up in Kansas. I was in a bar in my home town last time I went for a visit. A science teacher came over to me with his BudLight (GAG) and told me he was a Christian Science teacher. laughed. Then we debated. He said I was trying to trick him when I found an inconsistency in his Arrrgument. Silly man did not know that the FSM trumps his God card.

    Love,
    naked fedora

  13. 53 - October 4th, 2006 at - yessir Says:

    this is a bit retarded, yet has a good point i guess.

  14. 54 - October 4th, 2006 at - Rt. Rev. Penne alla Fiesolana Says:

    We of the ‘Church of the Swimming Spaghetti Monster’ believe that you’re views posted here represent blasphemy! It is blasphemy of the greatest proportion to say his high Noodliness ever flew! Surely you will all burn on the fiery stove after you have passed from the great frying pan of life!
    For has it not been written in the great menu of life, that he was indeed of the swimming persuasion! It was indeed written, that the great saucy Noodle, followed by those who followed him, would often walked along the banks of the great river Dolmio, preaching great sermons, and healing the ill, before taking a quick dip!
    I believe his Noodliness once said ‘be tolerant of all others, and respect thy neighbour’, it is with this in mind that I urge all other followers of the one true Spaghetti denomination, to take up knives, forks and even spoons, and declare a holy war against you blasphemous Flying followers! May bolognaise flow freely on the streets!

    Rt. Rev. Penne alla Fiesolana

  15. 55 - October 4th, 2006 at - Uncle Larry Says:

    Hey this is great information from the broad of education! Such narrowness of view, such separation of church and state. Heaven (whos?) forbid we think for ourselves. We need to return to the Crusades and go riding around with a bible (anyones) in our pocket searching for the grail (cup, pot, or any other vessel) stabbing all who disbelieve in our book or purpose. Why not study the differences in all religions in a class in public school but not call it SCIENCE. The notion that any human or group of humans has all the answers is absurd.
    AAARG! RAmen!

  16. 56 - October 4th, 2006 at - Emily Says:

    I just wanted to say that I don’t think that you are mocking “God,” at all.

    You are merely mocking the human perception of what the concept of “God” stands for, that’s all. That is not a serious offence — at least, I wouldn’t believe it to be. Think about it. It is the worldly “existence” of God that is being mocked here . . .

    Anyway, I’m sure you all already know this. I am just preaching to the choir, so to speak.

    Have a great evening.

    I love this faith and I will check in frequently.

    – EAW

  17. 57 - October 5th, 2006 at - beckwoll Says:

    In where does this mock God? The christian form of God is what is taken from texts, written after the fact by man. The pastefarian form of God is what is taken from texts, written after the fact by man. So what makes the christian God any more real than the Flying Spaghetti Monster. There is an equal amount of “proof” to support both theories. All religion needs is words and followers. Why is christianity not considered mocking of other religious gods? Why is yours the only one to be taught in school when they all have the exact same level of proof?
    It’s teaching belief as science, move it to theology classes where it belongs, as religion and science are very different fields. Nobody is mocking your religion, a point was being made that there is no more proof in one form of God than the other, and if christianity must be accepted as fact berely because of texts and followers, then so must every other religion, no matter how ridiculous

  18. 58 - October 5th, 2006 at - jj Says:

    Now, if only all these people would learn some grammar, sentence structure and punctuation rules and HOW TO SPELL, I would say schools can afford the time to teach nonscience in the guise of science, but, judging by the replies above, schools aren’t even taking the time to teach English. Therefore, dispense with the ID and start teaching reading, ‘riting, and ‘rithmetic. We so obviously need it.

  19. 59 - October 5th, 2006 at - Jebus Cripes Says:

    Well, JJ, it’s quite hard to do when Pirates don’t speak “proper” english. We need to change “English” and rename it “Pyrate”.

  20. 60 - October 7th, 2006 at - casalana Says:

    I think I have just seen the light, and am now anxious to be certain that I’ll be worshiping the FSM in the way he or she would wish.
    Is there a priest or lay-preacher who might perhaps be able to help?
    First of all, Is the FSM, a glutton for unending praise and ceaseless adulation, and what gifts will be necessary? Presumably money!
    What must I do for all my inherited sins to be forgiven, and at the same time will I perhaps be guaranteed (preferably in writing)an eternal place with him (or her) some place?
    At the same time can anything at all be done for the gazillions of non-believers who have been dumped for evermore?
    Now wouldn’t that be rather nice?

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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American




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