Response from Mrs. Janet Waugh - District 1 - Received 6/25/05
From: JWaugh1052@[xxxxxxx]
To: bobby.henderson@gmail.com
Date: Jun 25, 2005 6:34 AM
Subject: Response from a member of the Kansas Board of Education
Thanks for your comments about the Flying Spaghetti Monster and all the supporters who have sent their support to members of the Kansas Board of Education. I am supporting the recommendations of the science committee and am currently in the minority. I think your theory is wonderful and possibly some of the majority members will be willing to support it.
Thanks again,
Janet Waugh District 1
Response from Mrs. Sue Gamble - District 2 - Received 6/26/05
From: msgamble@[xxxxxxxxx]
To: bobby.henderson@gmail.com
Date: Jun 26, 2005 6:34 PM
Subject: Reply
Dear Mr. Henderson, Thanks for your message. Thanks for the laugh. Your web site is fascinating. I will add your theory to a long list of alternative theories I intend to introduce when it is appropriate. I am practicing how to do this with a straight face which is difficult since it’s such a ridiculous subject; it is also very sad that we are even having the discussion.
I will be one of the four member minority who will be voting against the flawed science standards currently being proposed by the six member majority.
Sincerely,
Sue Gamble
Response from Mrs. Carol Rupe - District 8 - Received 8/16/05
From: Carol Rupe
To: bobby.henderson@gmail.com
Date: Aug 16, 2005 8:19 AM
Subject: Kansas State Board of Education
Dear Mr. Henderson,
In the midst of the sad circumstances of having our science standards lowered, you and your legion of fellow FSM followers have offered wonderful comic relief. Rather than the form letters which we often receive on other topics, each FSM letter has been clever and unique. I responded to several at first, but now there have just been too many. I am a member of the Kansas State Board of Education and have voted repeatedly to maintain excellent science standards. Last week was the vote to send a new draft (written by the 6 conservative members) out for external review. The four of us on the board who are moderates were in the minority on the vote. The group of science teachers and university professors who had written the original standards (before they were changed) have now asked that their names be withdrawn from the document. The new version changes the very definition of science from “seeking natural explanations” to “seeking logical explanations”. That is why I think FSMism is able to be included. It is as “logical” as any other theory.
The final vote on the standards will be in October. We will be in Lawrence, Kansas for that meeting. Those of us who are moderates on the board are trying to have the meeting in the Natural History Museum at the University of Kansas. We think that would be an appropriate setting for the occasion. We welcome you to be in attendance.
We have received thousands of emails from scientists around the world. At first, they all tried to explain good science to us. After the vote last week, however, they have resorted to calling us hillbillies and morons. And those are the nice letters!
Thank you for adding levity to this situation. You have developed quite a following. I was wondering if we could reverse the effects of global warming if we started breeding pirates.
Sincerely,
Carol Rupe
P.S. I ordered a Kansas Museum of Science t-shirt. I may just have to wear it to a board meeting.
From: Mrs. Kathy Martin, District 6
“It is a serious offense to mock God.”
YOU christians are mocking the FSM!!! shame on you!!
Dear Mrs. Kathy Martin, District 6,
yarrrrr!!
Dear Kathy Martin,
I’m not into you
Love,
Me
Ms. Kathy Martin,
I seriously doubt that you will read this, but I’m going to throw it out there anyway.
If it is truly an offense to mock this “God” character of which you speak, why hasn’t Mr. Henderson been charged with anything yet? If Bobby has actually broken a law, especially one that you claim is serious, I expect him to be prosecuted for it. I’m certain that he would expect this too. Murder, rape, and treason are “serious offenses”. Blasphemy is just plain fun!
All Hail Our Noodly Master,
Paul R. Welke
Edmonton, Canada
this is why things were so bad before imperailism, no pirates = bad!
If the schools refuse to teach theology in a respectable fashion, the only course of action left is to teach it in as silly of a manner as you can manage.
All hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
“HAIL!”
Although I’m an atheist, in my (metaphorical) book it is you who is mocking God, Mrs Martin, when you conspire to belittle the vast and unimaginably majestic Creation around you by attempting to foist your non-sensical, inconsistent views, which you dress up as ’science’, onto the young and impressionable.
May you feel the blessed moistness of His appendage on the nape of your neck as He reminds you that the Bible is just a recently compiled heap of bronze-age mythology. May he whisper his tomato-fetid breath into your ear, telling you that the universe itself, and the spirit of human enquiry, not to mention humour, which it has thrown up in the most incredibly unlikely fashion on this minute dew-drop of a planet, had existed for so long before your beloved parochial middle-eastern hocum arose as to make it laughable. The universe itself mocks your God, Mrs Martin.
Blessed be the fork-twiddlers. Aaar!
Blasphemy is only an offense if you are talking religion; science has no equivelant. How can an omnipotent creator of everything be bothered by the words of mere humans? Seems a little silly, doesn’t it?
Fsshhlppt!
(The sound made when partaking of the noodly one)
RAmen.
To Mrs. Kathy Martin District 6,
The letter sent to the Kansas School Board regarding the FSM was not meant to mock “God.” A person in your position surely must be intelligent enough to realize that? The intent was to mock, well among other people, you. The idea that Intelligent Design is a scientific theory is what is being mocked, and those who believe that ID is a valid scientific theory and should be taught in science class are being mocked. The letter attempts to show that if Intelignent Desing actually does meet the standard for being taught as science, then based upon those standards, there is no reason why FSM should not be taught as an alternate theory as well.
At issue isn’t yours or anyone elses belief in God. At issue is why should students be taught about God in the guise of science? I prefer my religion to be taught to me by someone who actually knows and understands the material, someone who can help guide me when I have a question, someone like, oh I don’t know, a Priest or Pastor? (or whatever title is used in your religion…) Wouldn’t that be more appropriate than say an overworked underpaid public school science teacher who has not studied religion as a major field of study? I think we can all agree that you would not want to have someone teaching nuclear physics who isn’t say a nuclear physicist? Right?
Science takes a look at the available evidence and tries to come up with the best possible explanation that fits the facts. When more evidence becomes available, past conclusions are re-examined to see if it still makes sense with the new data. Things like “the world is flat,” or “the Earth is the center of the solar System and the sun revolves around the Earth,” were believed to be accurate, and were taught as fact. Eventually evidence came along that proved that the world was not flat and the Earth in fact revolved around the Sun (not the other way as was once believed…) Science can correct itself based upon new findings and new evidence.
Science answers “how.” how does this work, how did it happen etc… By gathering evidence and obseving how things work now, you make theories on how they might have worked before or how other similar things work. In science there is a mechanism that allows errors to be corrected. That mechanism is called “The Scientific Method.”
Religion answers the question “why.” It does so by the use of Dogma. Why should I not “Covet my neigbors wife?” Because God told you so. Why shouldn’t I “Use the lords name in vain?” Because God told you so. Dogma does not have a mechanism like the Scientific Method to validate its teachings. Dogma by definition needs no validating. Therefore it is not and can never be consdiered science. You have a problem with one of Gods rules? Then it’s tough to be you I guess, because that rule ain’t gonna change. Why? Because it is dogma.
Dogma is not science. Religion is not science. The FSM site and the letter sent to the Kansas School Board was not intended to mock God. It was intended to mock those idiots at the Kansas School Board who think that teaching religious dogma disguised as science (Intelligent Design) sounds like a good idea. I am going to guess that God is smart enough to understand that He (or She) was not being mocked by this site or that letter, it’s a shame that you couldn’t see that, Mrs. Kathy Martin.
Dear Kathy,
Do not mock the mocking, or the sacred semolina of His body will be upon you, and low, it shall be moist and starchy (if not properly rinsed). The coldness of his shoulder-like meat-ball will chill your shaky-cheese until it no longer shakes appropriately. I fear for your immortal sauce!
Repent…repe-ent……re-epe-e-ent!
Cam
Toronto, Ontaro
I’m from Britain, so I’m not entirely sure how it works in the United States, but in Britain we have ‘Religious Education’ lessons, where ideas such as ID and deities can be discussed and argued rationally and coherently. Does America have such a thing? And if so, why don’t you teach Creationism in these lessons? At least with this, religion does not need to be couched in pseudo-scientific terms and taught as fact with ‘collaborating evidence’.
Come to your senses and remove ID from science lessons and back to Theology where it belongs. At least then you won’t have to have evidence for your delusional rantings! I mean, surely all rational people know that the great FSM created all things! I pray that you will one day be touched by His Noodly Appendage, so that you too may come to know the glory that is the Flying Spaghetti Monster!
I second the breeding of pirates (only if all parties are willing of course! otherwise that would be violating #4 of the ‘Things I’d Rather You Didn’t)!!!
And Miss Kathy… For shame… for shame…
The similarities between “It is a serious offense to mock God†and the recent puerile insecurities displayed by some muslims over what the pope had quoted are striking. Why does god, in all of its omnipotence, benevolence, and omniscience, need one puny Kathy Martin to defend it? Why? Isn’t it just a little presumptuous, if not down right arrogant for you to be offended in god’s stead?
My dear Kathy,
Don’t you see the hypocracy of it all? Your little sentence was a powerful comment, especially because you suggest that we are mocking God. Do you hate terrorists, mrs. Martin? Because the terrorists kill in the name of your God. Christianity, Judaism, and Islam all worship the same God.
Dear Kathy,
You say that it is a serious offense to mock god, but do you not mock our great, pasta-based creator by your insulting his teachings? You are willing to believe the bible, a book that has been altered so many times that we might as well get rid of the whole thing, but you are not willing to even take into consideration that maybe, you are wrong, and that our creator was in fact a spaghetti monster not a man. You are hypocritical and rather simple minded.
Yaar!
Xaos, in the US, they are thinking of changing biology and the like with religion (both being accepted as the “truth”), you are thinking of Religion classes. Two completely different things.
I will mock God as much as I can, being Sargoth-Kuul and all. You get what you deserve. FSM is the true diety. Awe our lord and midgit-maker. RAmen.
To the Three Ladies on the School Board, who are not brain dead, may you have many blessings from his Noodlesness. May you Chianti be dry and your parmesian tasty. May we all meet in the Olive Garden in the Sky.
I am a Christain and belive in Jesus Christ and all that the Bible has to say, but I have to agree with Bobby’s point of view. The idea of bringing ID into a science class is absurd. There is no way to decide which would be the right theory to present, and there is no way you could teach them all.
However, I think that the whole idea of Evolution on a grand scale (such as from amino acids to man) is kinda’ goofy. The findings of Pasteur seem to discredit the whole idea of spontaneous generation.
But, remember, the idea of the world being flat was completely accepted by the scientific communities long ago, and has since been disproven. I think that the same will happen with evolution over time.
It’s a strange thing that only people who believe in God in a some what fundamentalist way seem to have problem with evolution? The scientits who are trying to prove evolution wrong with thease ID-theories and such are also christian. Doesn’t it strike to you more a thing to do with God and a desperate need to prove his existanc in fundamental rather than an actual flaw in the evolution theory. Besides, as I understand ID has been proven false. The supporters of evolution theory aren’t biased against God or anything, because most of them aren’t biased to any direction in the matter, most the believe in God propably, so in that way of course. Unlike, the people who try to prove evolution wrong, who definately have more at stake here and are willing cut corners to achieve their goals, so I’d much rather believe the people who aren’t so desperate proove their views right.
All written theology has a form of the Golden Rule . ” Bibles” were all written ” after the fact” by humans . They set guide lines to keep people in line . If a creator exists, FSM is just as good a name as God,Allah,etc.If a creator created life on our remote sphere ; then part of the humanoids body included a brain to reason with . These ” guide books ” eliminate the need to think for ones self .
There are more important things to argue or discuss than how things came to be and why?
WHO cares! The important thing is that we’re here; no matter how it came about.
Meanwhile,back at the ranch, the human species keeps over-populating and devouring the artificial means that provide for its’existance.
Kansas & DC aren’t the only places exhibiting the phenomina of brain freeze.
ARRRRRG !
Dear Miss Kathy,
I am rather surprised by the fact that an educator, rather that any educated person, such as yourself could fail to see the humour in the FSM.
I am even more stunned by the fact that you could consider creationism a tangent of science. The fact that the bible exists does not prove the existance of an almighty being. The fact that the bible exists proves nothing more than the bible does indeed exist. It is a story, rather an anthology that was written by mortal hands and has been followed by those not intelligent enough to distinguise fiction from fact.
The fact is that the study of science is and will remain a respectable practice, if individuals such as yourself mature and realized that your views are not only illogical, but rather pathetic. For example, your christian faith follows that leadership of a Pope, whom you believe is a figure head whom Christ willed to be in charge of his church, when, in fact, the pope was a figure head created by the Franks in the early 700’s to help link the clergy to the crown.
However, I assume as an educated individual, you are aware of this and have cleverly chosen to follow his leadership. I ask, where is the science in that?
Channing
Lethbridge, AB CA
Dear Miss Kathy,
If you truly belive in God, why would you try to spread your belief in disguise of science, instead of preaching fair? Do you have something to hide? Are you ashamed to spread the words of your God for some reason to the extent that you have no choice but to disguise? If I were your God and saw somebody like you demeaning me in the way you are doing, you should be truly afraid of my wrath.
hehehehe… religion is never open to question… remember that… and pirates are a direct result of the myth that everything used to be better…
hope you all get educated and realise how little you really know…
In reference to the last response from Kathy Martin: “It is a serious offense to mock God.”
One of the biggest problems in the world today is that people think that just because they believe something without proof (i.e. on faith), others have to take it seriously. If you have a problem with the Flying Spaghetti Monster to the point where you react as such, you shouldn’t have any problem with the Middle East’s reaction to the Pope’s recent comments.
Everyone has the right to have faith. But, somewhere, someone is going to think it’s silly if you don’t have real (scientific) proof.
If you can’t handle that, you’re faith is simply not sincere nor real.
I think it is a lot harder to mock God than we think. If God didn’t have a sense of humour, we’d all be dead by now.
when did it get to the point that we need to put others beliefs down to justify our own..?
wait….IT’S ALWAYS BEEN THAT WAY!!!! Kathy, if you would just pull your head out from under the rock, you would see that Not only FSM, but all religion teaches compassion and tolerance. The thought of having religion in public schools is dated, that’s why we got rid of it in the first place. We have religious schools in Canada, where people can choose to learn ID. Perhaps we should open an FSM school to teach the future generations the doctorine.
and to you Kathy….. ARRRRRR!
clearly there aren’t enough pirates in the world
Have other work to do - so enjoy this monster paragraph:
As a science teacher of the gifted and talented, I find the whole argument to be somewhat useless in regards to what we need to teach our children in public schools. Perhaps we can instead focus on how to properly aim and fund the science education that will inspire our children and allow them to think for themselves as they mature into the next generation of adults. With the math and English focus of the NCLB act, science education is falling behind and we will ultimately reap what we sew - an even more scientifically illiterate group of adults than we currenly have in the US. We graduate masses of students who have no employability skills and need significant additional (and expensive) education in order to have half a shot at a 1st job, after which most can expect to have many more - good luck at finding a lengthy career anywhere without becoming a lifelong student. When my students speak of this creationism vs. evolution argument, the ones that can think for themselves can’t understand what all of the fuss is about - the former is a topic for home and religious institutions and the latter belongs in PUBLIC schools. The private schools in which I taught had no dilemma with this - both could be spoken of in any classes - and as Miroslav wrote above - science answered “how,” religion “why.” If I am allowed to finish with my naive and idyllic rant: Let’s spend our time focusing on the science that will occupy the other 99% of our students’ time in PUBLIC schools.
Wish I had time to be more coherent, but lesson planning beckons . . .
I don’t think Pastifarians are taking a strong enough stance on this issue. I am the religous leader for my fellow pastifarians at my private catholic middle school. We believe that FSMisn should be taught in schools. Every bit of “learning” that is done in my school has a large amount of biblical “history” and “propoganda” in it. We must take this strong stance to oppose the extremly one sided teaching that is insued here.
AARRRGGG
RAmen
Ah, my dearest children,
I do believe that the Beatles had it right when they said,
“All you need is love.”
I suggest you all take up meditation. When you then merge with the infinite and realize that this entire universe lives inside of you, you will relax. You can then sit back and enjoy the whole drama as I do. Your sense of humor will return and all relalities will be seen with their own inherent validities. Learn to love the drama and each of the players. It is all you really have until you merge back into the infinite.
Love and kisses,
Your Own Divine Mother
thank you kathy
Science:
To find the truth in nature and everything around us- creatures, plants, fungus, rock, metal, air, fire, water, earth and space.
Religion:
To look up “truth” in the wrong dictionary. And then hear voices.
“What is the difference between the eccentric artist, the religious and a madman? The artist has a berret, the religious a bible and the madman a straitjacket.”
Hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster!
Sorry Kathy, it is you who is being mocked, not your god.
Yar yar!
As one great Pirate (if he wasnt he should have been!) once said…
“good people do good things”,
“bad people do bad things”,
“when good people do bad things - they call it religion!”
Yaharg Lassie! Ye be insultin’ ma’ Faith!?
Death comes for ye!
And Pirates.
Love,
Gerald Jenkins Pirate Apprentice
How am I doing?
1-800-258-0855 Ask for Gerald Jenkins
Dear Mrs. Kathy Martin, District 6, its a serious offense to mock FSM, and i’m not just speaking to you i’m also speaking to the other repliers from the Kansas State Board of Education.
>:P
Dear Ms.kathy…MyMyMy…and when did we get the great position of speaking for God?And which one are we speaking for????Mine says They never made that arrangement with you…soooo as a new High Pasta-ness of this great order I say to you….May His Noodley Appendage Come down from Above and Slap Thee Right on Top of Thy Pointiness of thy Little Head and shaketh thy small under cooked noodle. May The Great One take pity on thy undercookedness……and make of thee a great Udon ..Her High Pasta-ness..MamaVoodoo
Poor Poor Kathy, obviously you have not partaken of the saucy sacrament from his high Noodliness. Pastafarianism is a quiet quaint communion of all strands of holiness into ones body. May his Angel Hair entwine thee to thy reconcilliation meant to save thee from the evil Fra Diabla who digests within thee.
Come forth from your box and be fully immersed in the waters of redemption upon the holy alter of Stove, that you may be reborn and rinsed of your starchiness.
Say 25 ‘Hail Marinaras’ and 10 ‘Oh my Meatballs’ to save thyself from your stiff and boxed ways.
*Ramen*
His High Sauciness,
Al Dente Paladin d’Tortellini
Kathy, your well argued and carefully thought out stanza has rid me of my foul urges toward the noodly one. Clearly, when one has such a grasp and intuitive understanding of our place in the universe as you it is pointless to argue. Which God is the right one again? I get a little confused, and I’d hate to screw up again at this point. I love you.
I’ve read a lot of (but not all) the response/ comments/ hate mail etc sent in by “Christians” and have a question or 2/ 3: According to gospel/ scripture/ the bible (insert name of religious text here) you fabulous people aren’t very “Christian”, now are you? I ask this because in one of the insane hate mail messages the author basically says he can’t wait to see Mary/ Jesus/ Diety of your choice kicking Bob’s but and that it’ll be the best moment of his life when Bob burns in everlasting hell fire (ya’ll) etc. Really? No matter what Bob or anyone says/ or does, do you think God would want you to be thinking like that? Hmmm… maybe you just human after all? Or are you just hypocrites? (I’m not a Christian by the way), but all relgions/ faiths preach the same basic message: LOVE THY NEIGHBOUR, BE TOLERANT etc etc etc… Where did all that go? How did the Right Wing Christian fundamentalists manage to forget the main message of Christianity. It isn’t “DO WHAT I SAY SO YOU CAN GET TO HEAVEN” that’s for sure and screw anyone who thinks differently (or in some cases, is capable of thinking at all). xz
Kathy, I repent my starchy ways. Thank you for showing me the light, I will now make jihad against all Pastafarians in the name of OUR GOD!
At least Kathy will have to agree that it would be fair to teach the kids that one theory claims that earth is flat and one theory claims that earth is round. Just saying that the earth is round would be to mock god wouldnt it?
Dear Mrs. Kathy Martin;
I cannot begin to tell you how terribly glad I am that you have been chosen as God’s assistant. To have the power to speak for Him, be offended for Him, and in all regards give us an up-to-date report containing His opinion on everything, that is truly a great boon! I personally would love to have these abilities, and if you ever have a free moment I simply must request that you tell us all in great detail how you obtained such an amazingly extraordinary position.
Many thanks in advance,
pure.Caprice
it is funny how you can say such things kathy, when you speak for your god but what what god is it have you spoken to all gods from satan of fire or mother earth of wicca and most of all how dare you speak for his greatness may he slam you into the infernal pot for your ignorness- with gothic love soilder of blood lust for wrath iron JAX
p.s people like you made calumbine happen lol
Wait…I thought the flying spaghetti monster WAS God… no?
wait…
assuming god created everything
and god is invisible
and god is all knowing and all seeing
and god is everywhere.
isn’t the only difference between god and the flying spaghetti monster the fact that god made us in his own image.
is it possible that the flying spaghetti monster is god and he just didn’t make us in his own image?
From: Mrs. Kathy Martin, District 6
“It is a serious offense to mock God.â€
well i’ll take my chances… besides he’s a good friendly forgiving god right?
well anyways. it’s easier to pay respects to the flying spaghetti monster by making our food in his image as hommage as it is he who provides us with food.
and if it is truely a serious offense to mock god, why do you mock ours if not to encourage us to mock yours?
I grew up in Kansas. I was in a bar in my home town last time I went for a visit. A science teacher came over to me with his BudLight (GAG) and told me he was a Christian Science teacher. laughed. Then we debated. He said I was trying to trick him when I found an inconsistency in his Arrrgument. Silly man did not know that the FSM trumps his God card.
Love,
naked fedora
this is a bit retarded, yet has a good point i guess.
We of the ‘Church of the Swimming Spaghetti Monster’ believe that you’re views posted here represent blasphemy! It is blasphemy of the greatest proportion to say his high Noodliness ever flew! Surely you will all burn on the fiery stove after you have passed from the great frying pan of life!
For has it not been written in the great menu of life, that he was indeed of the swimming persuasion! It was indeed written, that the great saucy Noodle, followed by those who followed him, would often walked along the banks of the great river Dolmio, preaching great sermons, and healing the ill, before taking a quick dip!
I believe his Noodliness once said ‘be tolerant of all others, and respect thy neighbour’, it is with this in mind that I urge all other followers of the one true Spaghetti denomination, to take up knives, forks and even spoons, and declare a holy war against you blasphemous Flying followers! May bolognaise flow freely on the streets!
Rt. Rev. Penne alla Fiesolana
Hey this is great information from the broad of education! Such narrowness of view, such separation of church and state. Heaven (whos?) forbid we think for ourselves. We need to return to the Crusades and go riding around with a bible (anyones) in our pocket searching for the grail (cup, pot, or any other vessel) stabbing all who disbelieve in our book or purpose. Why not study the differences in all religions in a class in public school but not call it SCIENCE. The notion that any human or group of humans has all the answers is absurd.
AAARG! RAmen!
I just wanted to say that I don’t think that you are mocking “God,” at all.
You are merely mocking the human perception of what the concept of “God” stands for, that’s all. That is not a serious offence — at least, I wouldn’t believe it to be. Think about it. It is the worldly “existence” of God that is being mocked here . . .
Anyway, I’m sure you all already know this. I am just preaching to the choir, so to speak.
Have a great evening.
I love this faith and I will check in frequently.
– EAW
In where does this mock God? The christian form of God is what is taken from texts, written after the fact by man. The pastefarian form of God is what is taken from texts, written after the fact by man. So what makes the christian God any more real than the Flying Spaghetti Monster. There is an equal amount of “proof” to support both theories. All religion needs is words and followers. Why is christianity not considered mocking of other religious gods? Why is yours the only one to be taught in school when they all have the exact same level of proof?
It’s teaching belief as science, move it to theology classes where it belongs, as religion and science are very different fields. Nobody is mocking your religion, a point was being made that there is no more proof in one form of God than the other, and if christianity must be accepted as fact berely because of texts and followers, then so must every other religion, no matter how ridiculous
Now, if only all these people would learn some grammar, sentence structure and punctuation rules and HOW TO SPELL, I would say schools can afford the time to teach nonscience in the guise of science, but, judging by the replies above, schools aren’t even taking the time to teach English. Therefore, dispense with the ID and start teaching reading, ‘riting, and ‘rithmetic. We so obviously need it.
Well, JJ, it’s quite hard to do when Pirates don’t speak “proper” english. We need to change “English” and rename it “Pyrate”.
I think I have just seen the light, and am now anxious to be certain that I’ll be worshiping the FSM in the way he or she would wish.
Is there a priest or lay-preacher who might perhaps be able to help?
First of all, Is the FSM, a glutton for unending praise and ceaseless adulation, and what gifts will be necessary? Presumably money!
What must I do for all my inherited sins to be forgiven, and at the same time will I perhaps be guaranteed (preferably in writing)an eternal place with him (or her) some place?
At the same time can anything at all be done for the gazillions of non-believers who have been dumped for evermore?
Now wouldn’t that be rather nice?
Y’know, I’m a Catholic, and I’m not offended at all about the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I do think it’s ridiculous that creationism would be taught in a science class. Honestly, I think creationism is a crock of shit. It comes from fundamentalists who interpret the bible literally, instead of actually thinking about the period that it came from, usually through oral tradition. Who says that you can’t be a Christian and still believe in evolution, how do you know that God didn’t make us evolve?
As a christian, I think this is hilarious. Time and time again science has proven the church wrong, from the flat world and The Inquisitors belief of Jews starting earthquakes(comes from Candide, funny book). ANyone who thinks otherwise is a moron! dont take it seriously. and xandero, good point. creationism is a crock of shit and has no scientific basing. In religious studies II(I am a sophmore in high school) We learn that the bible was written by people who spoke to God. Personally, i think God must have FEDEXed narcotic shrooms to ppl and gave them a stone and chisel. seriously, spoken to by God is a long shot, and these books were mostly from oral tradition. With myriad proof of evolution and a Bible to prove ID, you holier-than-thou christians need to step back and sla yourself. Thank you and may the Power of FSM be with you always and forever.
Yarrmen
Justin
As a christian, I think this is hilarious. Time and time again science has proven the church wrong, from the flat world and The Inquisitors belief of Jews starting earthquakes(comes from Candide, funny book). ANyone who thinks otherwise is a moron! dont take it seriously. and xandero, good point. creationism is a crock of shit and has no scientific basing. In religious studies II(I am a sophmore in high school) We learn that the bible was written by people who spoke to God. Personally, i think God must have FEDEXed narcotic shrooms to ppl and gave them a stone and chisel. seriously, spoken to by God is a long shot, and these books were mostly from oral tradition. With myriad proof of evolution and a Bible to prove ID, you holier-than-thou christians need to step back and slap yourself. Thank you and may the Power of FSM be with you always and forever.
Yarrmen
Justin
What i tink is wierd is that for some reason it is perfectly acceptable for christians to say that scienentifis theory is false without a bit of proof yet we offer them every bit of proof they could possibly need that Intelligent Design is wrong and they get all offended. I think faith has a seriously important place in the world but it is helping depressed and confused people find hope not corrupting the science curiculum that could lead to us finding a cure for AIDS, or cancer, or any number of genetic deseases.
RAmen
Thank you for showing me the light. I am no longer a atheist. I have finally found my belief in the great noodled one.
So, will his Noodleness send down a son to rid us of our sins? The Noodle, the Lasagne & the Holy Garlic Bread? Is there a noodley hell - ruled by his Unsalted, Cucumbery king of the salad hell?
Comments …..
no pastafarian hell. That goes against our religion. We just get to laugh at them in our heaven as they toil eternally supplying the beer volcano with fresh yeast, hops and barley.
Hmmmmmm As a non participant in the religion world what so ever. I want to say hats up to all you individuals that have contributed to this lenghty and illuminating debate on the merrits of world religions, science and his benevolence the great FSM and those right wing extremists the SSM. As a non conformist i tend to believe in the romantic relm of the Pirate who spend their existance sailing the heavens creating mayhem and havoc in their wake. It if wasn’t for them and their daring excapades we wouldn’t be here enjoying the merrits of their exploits. Evolution. religion, science and beliefs are all for some reason tied together and now we spend endless days deciding “what is and what was”. So i say what ever you choose to believe, and have faith in then go with that descision and please have an open mind and don’t try to condem another for their chosen path.
All hail the all mighty, less startchy, FSM or what ever form you chose him/her/it to appear in…..some one once said “life is what you make of it”
ok “GROUP HUG” everybody
hi there. great stuff! i´ve spent about half an hour reading your posts!!
i had to “suffer” religion until the age of 12/13, being bombarded with religion and how we must follow what god said. luckily, my sister managed to open my eyes before it was too late! (i will thank her forever for this!). right now, whenever i read anything to do with religion, i can´t help to just stare and think: “what the f**k?” as if you cant be a “good” person unless you believe in god. they taught me that believing was right, and not believing was wrong. they never told me i was allowed to decide what way to go. i really think this is all fairy tales, and BY NO MEANS should they force kids to believe all that stuff. schools should teach both religous theories and evolutionary theories (i think that´s how u say it!), and let kids decide. i´m sure this way religion would eventually enter the history lessons…as most (if not all) religious adults are religious because they were brought up in a religious atmosphere (parents, SCHOOL, culture,etc etc).
i consider myself a good person; does that mean i go to hell cause i don´t believe in god? come on!…
Religion=MAFIA or SECT.
i respect religious points of view, cause i believed in god not long ago… now i believe in MYSELF and in the FLYING SPAGUETTI MONSTER!!!
peace in the world dudes! and play Futsal! and thank you sister!!!
Oh yeah, i forgot to mention: like John Lennon said:- “imagine there´s nothing to fight for, and no religion too”.
the words of this song really touch my soul……
As long as the mighty noodly one does not tell you to begin a genecide I’m cool with the whole ‘Holy Italian’ thing. My problem is this…. every religious group has it’s fanaticals… Muslims, Christians, Witchcraft, etc… so why is it that all Christians get thrown into this boiling pot of together of people to make fun of, when everyone seems to understand that there are “good witches,” and not all Muslims want to fly a plane into a building? I have all the same general beliefs as a Christian and I want to keep it that way… and even some day when I die, if I am proven wrong what’s the problem with the way I chose to live my life..? do you feel it’s ok to verbally trash the choice I made for my life… maybe we’re not the radicals…?
Jason,
I have nothing against Christianity or Christians. Well, I guess that isn’t true. I have a great deal against some Christians and the way they practice Christianity. I have respect for people who try to live their lives according to what Jesus taught, minus the fundamentalist interpretations and bastardization of Jesus’ basic message. Some of the best people I know are Christians. I’ve even been accused of being a good Christian by an ex-boyfriend who loved to aggrevate me. His point was that, although I do not believe or follow the Christian teachings, I try to live that way anyway because I am a good person. That being said, yes, I think it is ok to verbally trash Christianity when the fanatics are doing their thing. This is the only place I do trash Christianity. I don’t go to Christian websites at all, let alone to bash Christianity. We’re just doing our thing, and some fundies come here and attack us. They’re asking for it, if you ask me.
I am a Jew, but I don’t believe in God. I don’t deny the existence of God, because it cannot be proven wrong. This is why ID should NOT be taught in schools. In order to be cpnsodered a scientific hypothesis, let alone a scientific theory, the subject in question must be able to be proved wrong. You can’t prove that God exists, and you can’t prove that he doesn’t exist. This is what (at least I think) FSM is all about. To make people like you realize how delusional you are, and how unscientific your arguements are. And if your going to teach ID, you miht as well teach that Promethius made humans and gave them fire, and was punished for near-eternity by Zeus. Of course you can’t prove that right. BUT YOU CAN”T PROVE IT WRONG! you can’t, try as you may, prove that FSM does not exist. But I have one question. How does FSM look like spaghetti and meatballs if he’s invisible?
WootXJ!
I would be like’n an answer to that one, me self. Not that it be changin’ a thing. Just a wonderin” inside me ol’ cannonball of a head.
To SaucyWinch,
The label “christian” is just that, a tag that identifies you by someone else’s standard. Jesus had a lot on the ball. Most of the teachings, be they of his own thought or of other influence (it is obvious he was no stranger to Eastern philosophies) the messages hold true to today. Because someone professes to be a christian does not automatically display the person as a wonderful example of humanity. Look at non-christians such as the Dhali Lama, Thich Nat Hahn, and a multitude of other individuals that live a good life as best as they can. I can’t accept that these people are moving in the wrong direction. I personally believe that the basic precept causing no harm is the simple, most perfect direction a human can attempt to travel. When we do this, it is a trival comment to whether a person is a christian, atheist, agnostic, jewish, gay, straight, man, woman, short, tall, etc., etc. This characteristic does not rest in dogma, it resides in the heart and fiber of us. There is no need to justify, convert, or coherse…only to live in peace.
Darn, a typo. I meant “aggravate,” not aggrevate. I think my ex-boyfriend aggrevated and aggrevated me too, for that matter.
Maybe one of the most difficult times it is to stand an be Christian is when it’s the ‘Christians’ themselves who are embarrasing the message of Christ… take the Baptist church in Kansas, not sure if this is exactly nation headline news, but they are picketing the funerals of soldiers saying that God hates the armed forces and are allowing the soldiers to die because the policy of allowing gays in the military… thank God I’m not a Baptist, because that would make the embarrament even worse!!!! Maybe if we can all get together, I will pray to God, and you can pray to the noodly one, and perhaps together they will smite down the ignorace of the picketers?
One question about FSM religion… in order to be saved do you have to have the marinara sauce applied to your heart?
Dear Miroslav,
I agree IN A WAY but if you want someone who know’s what they are teaching you religion wise you should go to a person who has studied it, but if they stop teaching about God in school than should’nt they not teach about Evolution..they are both theory’s about how the earth, us, and everything else on the earth is created so technically they can not just not teach one they would have totally have to stop teaching about all of them for it to really be fair to everyone and their religion…or they should just start teaching about all of the religions at that like buddism, athiestism, and all of them for it to totally be fair…So i beleve that no matter what it is not fair what theorys or religions they teach in school unless they teach all or none…
To Padriac,
What you say makes sense. I completely agree with you. You don’t sound like one of those fundamentalist Christians that I have no problem trashing. I guess it would be more evolved of me to not bash anyone, yet how can I live in peace when they, not I, are trying to coerce society (st least schoolchildren in Kansas) to learn their beliefs as science. I really don’t know what to do about that. I think Bobby has answered that problem brilliantly and non-violently.
Bobby Joe,
You said that it would be unfair to teach evolution in school but not to teach about God, and I have to disagree with you. Evolution is a theory, yes, but it is a SCIENTIFIC theory, not a spiritual one. Evolution is based upon observable evidence and belongs in the science classroom. There is no evidence of god outside the bible. God and the creation myths belong in a separate class on religion, and should never, EVER be presented to children as science. That’s what started Pastafarianism. Religion (and I mean ALL religions) should be taught as religion, not science. It is wrong to say that it is unfair to teach science and not to teach religion. They are two completely separate things.
RAmen
here is the really funny thing… if you follow Hume’s dictum (please, wiki it), religion cannot be considered science, because religion is a matter of the mind, which can never be proven with physical observations, only by other philosophical concepts.
Science relies on physical observations… do we see the problem here?
SaucyWench:
Thanks for noticing; I am not a fundamentalist christian, nor do I consider myself a christian at all, though some of the teachings of Christ are what I term as universal truths. But so do the teachings of the Buddha, Mohammed, Lao Tzu, and my eighth grade teacher, John P. Nolan.
To remain calm in the face of adversity is quite the chalange. I still get pissed and scream and yell, but try to keep it at a minimum. More is achieved with a calm, direct and focused approach. I have two teen-aged daughters that are surrounded by right wing christians that pretty much tell them how wrong they are by not being a “church-goer.” I am pretty much fed up with the self-righteous attitudes of some of these people, but to be angry just prolongs the confrontation. I keep telling myself I don’t have to prove my beliefs any more than I need to accept the beliefs of others.
My beliefs are manifested to my children by my speech and actions. They get the message, I think. Anyway, they will make their own decisions in the end. Kahlil Gibran so aptly wrote, “You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.” Through our example, they learn, good or bad sometimes. Remember, it is our responsibility to teach our children, not the state of Kansas, Missouri, or any other entity. I think as long as we are in this current state of constant fear induced and perpetuated by the current government regime, we will have these battles that should not be fought. Science and religions may slightly overlap, but until people become enlightened to the fact that its ok to have different views, lines will be drawn.
Padriac, well said. I also have two teenagers, who were exposed to particularly rabid Christian fundamentalism at my ex-husband’s house. One of my responses was to take them to as liberal a church as I could find- the Unitarian Universalist. We went to Solstice celebrations, Bless the Animals Day, and even talked once about what aliens might think about us here on Earth. I told them that other people believed differently than their father and stepmother, and that they were free to choose. They are both now staunch tree-hugging free-thinkers, and I’m grateful for that. Not to go off on a different rant, but what you said about speech and actions is very pertinent to my daughters’ lives. Their stepmother, whose license plate says “Pslm 23″ has been to prison twice since she married my ex-husband. Her crimes have been based in deceit and thievery, yet she did nothing but bash me to my daughters about what a liar I am. This is just one of a long list of transgressions she has accumulated. I have shortcomings, to be sure, but I am a good and honest person. Anyway, I guess I’ve got some pretty strong feelings against fundamentalist Christians based on direct dealings with one of them. I do realize that she is an individual, and does not officially represent Christianity, yet she did a lot of damage to my family “in Christ’s name”. I guess I should go to therapy and work on forgiveness, huh? Isn’t that what Christ would want me to do?
I’m sure Christ never intended for his teachings to be so misused and mutated. I’m sad now and I’m going to sleep. May the FSM, or someone, anyone, bring peace to our wounded lives.
SaucyWench,
No, I don’t think therapy is really necessary, the tolerance thing is so difficult when you are subjected to intolerance. You are absolutely correct when you say that Christ didn’t plan on christianity to turn out the way it did. I wish I could remove your sadness, but neither God (?) nor the FSM can do that. Only you can remove that. Remember, Saint, we are the ones completely in control of what we feel and how we perceive everything around us. Sometimes, though, it takes another person to help us realize that and give us the initiative to pull ourselves from our despair. My buddhist tendancies remind me of the simple rules I try to apply to my life: help relieve people’s pain and to cause no harm. I hope I have done that for you.
Peace.
It’s funny how in the name of GOD…….. fanatics will kill to save you from going to hell.
I think the answer really lies in lemons. The steady decline of pirates over the last few hundred years is what is causing our global warming. This much we know. One of the major causes of death amoungst pirates was scurrvy which is caused by a lack of vitamen C in their diets. Lemons have a great deal of vitamen C in them. Over the last few hundred years lemons have become more and more plentiful, yet our pirate bretheren numbers keep on getting smaller. My only way to answer this riddle is to ask our great creator, FSM, why has he/she been keeping lemons from us? Is it because it truely compliments his/her deliciousness? Is there a greater picture that you humble servant, Squidward, cannot see? Please help me aim my beek in the right direction and find the answer.
yours tangily
S
Dear Carol Rupe,
I’m not sure if you’ll ever read this little leatter I am writing, but I write it all the same;
I beleive that we SHOULD breed Pirates in order to help with the Global Warming situation, and also to bring the magestic creatures BACk to our world for everyone to be robbed by. Names like good old Black-Beard, or Captian Jack Sparrow, or even Iron Ethel Flint are seldom remebered today, even though once, they were houshold names and treated as royalty.
In conclusion, Save out friends the Pirates! Visit my blog and show your support! Save out world from Gloabal Warming and the threat of never seeing these amazing spectacles of nature again! Visit http://savethepiratesfromglobalwarming.blogspot.com/
Thankyou!
It really must suck to be a teacher in America - so many rules and regulations! I teach in England and i WILL be teaching FSM to my students during classes in Sociology of Religion.
Oh me fellow pastafarians, as I read above, I weep for Kathy and for all of us!
Is this fast mockery of Kathy, the quick hostility, the instant intollerance of her innocent ignorance, is this all what the FSM has sauced us up with? Wouldn’t his holyness want us to extend our appendages to Kathy, how ever dumb and stiff they are, with the love, and tastyness, that decends from his meatball core? Anger like this is not the grace of parmagean that he sprinkles into our souls, is it? NO! NO! We may not be more than men, or women, though women are generally more than men - but we can be more like pasta! Reach out I say, show her all that is his glory, bring her near, wrap her in our embrace, and when she is really close, then… then you wack her with a wet noodle!!!
Arrrrgh!
God created man, and being a gentleman, man returned the compliment. Out of guilt, several times apparently.
:)
As an outsider (UK)looking in, I am saddened to witness the hate disguised as ‘concern for salvation’ that certain groups of your citizens seam communicating. From banning books (is book burning still practised in the USA?) to confusing science based on a philosophy of developing statements (hypothesises) and testing then by trying to disproving them; with science based on belief and tradition. There are upsides and down sides to both methods, unfortunately for FSM devotes belief & tradition doesn’t provide us with all that new stuff that is good, useful and life saving in the world today. Science based on belief on tradition would still have us tying animal genitals to our foreheads to cure headaches.
This still doesn’t detract from the fact that the great FSM created the universe; maybe he just lit the fuse and stood back.
Oh, and if anyone else mentions that ‘we’ used to believe that the world was flat ask them for some evidence. Pear shaped yes; round defiantly; flat no.
“Animal genitals and foreheads†see Naturalis Historia written in the 1st century (2000 years ago) by Galus Plinius Secundus (aka Pliny the Elder) whose writings were considered an authority by many including the Christian church.
Thank you for reading
Hail to our new chief FSM
To English Dave,
.
“is book burning still practised in the USA?” Sadly, some churches still do. Harry Potter books are a favorite, though I can imagine Richard Dawkins’ “The God Delusion” finding a place in their flames as well.
.
Relocating to Canada is looking better every day.
.
RAmen
If they can burn Harry Potter because they don’t agree with it, then does that mean someone could burn the bible and not cause chaos? Not that I really want to, just wondering.
Having been converted to Pastafarianism about half a year ago, I can easily say that it makes the most sense out of any religion I’ve ever heard of. I worship FSM as the true creator, and Kathy Martin is discriminating against my beliefs!
I would just like to point out that there are actaully more pirates today then there were during the Age of Exploration, the Age of Sail, and the Napoleanic Era. Otherwise I the theory behind Pastafarianism is sound.
~Rienholt
PS: I am including privateers and not including software, music, and video pirates.
Prepare for cooler summers!!! We need more pirates. Much better religion than the others ive seen, and ive tried tried a few.
Yarr. May his noodle-iness find the poor lost souls of the Kansas School Board. The word must be spread by our pirate brethren to the hethens of The Kansas State Board of Education. If they don’t, then they will never bask in the light of the Beer Volcanoe and the Stripper Factory. I send out a message, help save these poor souls, as they so frequently try to do for us.
So, in essence, to make sure we are all on the same page here, and also to mrs. Martin,
If you find nothing silly about your God, then there can be nothing silly about our noodly God, think about it. All bobby did was rename all the aspects of the christian beliefs in his own terms. i’ll explain:
*God = Flying Spaghetti Monster (there is no difference unless you think on a low level of “physical aspects” which means little in the infinitness of God or FSM)
*Christ = His Noodly appendage (they are both the direct influence from “the power above”)
*baptised in water = baptised in sauce (if you are immature enough to think that spaghetti sauce is silly and water is not.. well then theres nothing more i can say to try to share my opinion)
So really all Mrs. Martin is arguinh over is things names. hmmm… thats really gonna get us places….
YARRR! RAmen!
One Eyed Jack
…“The God Delusion†finding a place in their flames as well….
That should help sales in the bible belt. Then we could use these sales to point to the fact that the christians are actually closet opponenets of ID. I refer to comments in other posts that “most” scientists believe in ID. High sales figures would provide more “evidence” of this than those provided with those comments.
Yabadabadooo!!!
heh… What the “Kansas School Board Responses to the Open Letter” 4 fck?!
Anybody can recomend me websites for download professional soft for website advertising?
It’s really important to me. Please, help.
Thanks for all…
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P.P.S. Sorry for my post in “Kansas School Board Responses to the Open Letter” category.
Evil Webposter demons, get out of my head!
I think that if we seriously offended “god”, he wouldn’t just sit there and go, “Well damn, even tough I’m all mighty, these humans keep disrespecting me and I can’t do a damn thing about it.” No, he’d send a bolt of lightning down and fry my ass, but I’m still sitting here, so either A) There is no God, or B) Said God actually has a sens of humor OR C) (easily the most plausible answer) The FSM is just in disguise to test our loyalties.
Frafficer,
.
That *was* a question.
.
Here’s another:
.
What did it mean?
Rienholt,
.
They’re not real pirates. They’re just no-good robbers and thieves with boats who bring the name of piracy into disrepute.
.
Real pirates have proper pirate costumes, with flashy gold bits and big hats.
.
Real pirates have proper pirate names (One Eyed Jack is leading us, here)
.
Real pirates say ‘Arrrrrr’, and other profound things.
.
Real pirates are kind-hearted souls who have the best interests of the world foremost in their minds (alongside grog and wenches).
.
Real pirates, above all else, know the truth of His Noodly Appendage and will spare not a second in sharing it, with appropriate condiments.
.
Don’t be mislead by those kalashnikov-toting pirate-wannabes (also known as ‘bastards’). The true pirates are all here before ye.